Dancing in the rain
by Linneagb
Summary: Years after the New Directions were discharged Blaine Hummel- Anderson is back. In searching for a new job he gets one at the library at wmhis and decides to get the glee club back. He knows that even with Sue gone it won't be easy but shame on the one who gives up because after all- life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass but learning how to dance in the rain. SYOC closed
1. Prologue

**So well, I've been sending in loads and loads of syoc- characters to different writers but I have now decided to write a syoc of my own. Well… that's kind of it. I really hope you like it, the rules and syoc- form are on my profile and there is also the current cast list- read the rules CAREFULLY before filling the form up thank you. So well, on with the story**

"Mr. Hummel Anderson- you have no education of being a librarian." I shook my head. "You have no experience of being a librarian, you're young, you could just as well have found another, better paid job within a week after starting here." I bit my lip as Mr. Campbell- the boss at the library spoke- and thought that all of my chances of getting the job as a librarian in McKinley's library were gone.

"But you've got that something and…" he leaned forward and almost whispered. "I really don't think that it takes too much education for this job. If you can promise me you'll keep this job at least until Christmas- then it's yours- and then we'll see what happens after that. So what do you say?" I smiled and reached my hand forward to shake Mr. Campbell's.

"I'll take it. Of course. So when can I start?" Mr. Campbell answered me Monday- the second Monday of the term that would be- today was Wednesday the first week after school had started in usual order after the summer at William McKinley High School- and by then I had been e- mailing with the head librarian Mr. Michael Campbell to hopefully get myself a job.

It had been three years since the New Directions were put down, Mr. Schue had left the school as well as I and the others that were graduating that year. I had gotten into NYADA and spent one year there with Kurt before I could stand up to him and tell him that I didn't think NYADA was anything for me, we married, finished doing everything around that and then I spent another year and a half there as Kurt was still in NYADA and then when Kurt graduated we had started talking about moving back to Lima to just… go back to where we came from. Kurt would work through the Internet on Vogue, I would spend my time taking the job that I could and just be to maybe figure out what it was I wanted to do.

And so in July I and Kurt had after many if's and but's moved in with Kurt's dad and stepmother. It felt a bit like intruding on their life- maybe a bit too much- but they all seemed happy- and of course I was too so I couldn't see any problem with it.

I was walking down the hallway towards the parking lot. The hallway was almost empty but still I couldn't help to look around and remember the places, there was where I had told Kurt I was transferring to McKinley, there was my old locker, there was Finn's old locker…. And there was the auditorium… God I couldn't even.

I stopped by the auditorium as I heard music from in there and then slowly walked in, standing in the curtains and watching the tall, dark- haired boy who stood with a guitar and just started singing a song I didn't recognize- but that- as I heard every single word- just seemed to suit so perfectly, and the last lines hitting me right in the heart.

_It's just so hard to believe  
That I will never ever see you again  
And it's just so hard to understand  
That I will never ever hear your voice again_

'_Cause God has taken back  
His most beautiful angel  
And I just still can't believe  
I just still can't believe you're gone_

'_Cause even though I know you're dead  
It's just so hard to understand  
That nothing can't ever bring you back  
And I just still can't believe you're gone _

_You were always- such a nice person  
You were always smiling  
Always happy  
Always shining_

_And it's just so sad, it's so unfair  
That you died so very young  
And you will never get out of school  
And you will never ever get yourself a job_

'_Cause even though I know you're dead  
It's just so hard to understand  
That nothing can't ever bring you back  
And I just still can't believe_

_I just still can't believe you're gone  
I just still can't believe you're gone  
'Cause I don't want to believe you are gone _

I wanted to go over and speak to the boy who now pulled the guitar so it hang with the shoulder band on his back and then left the auditorium with his back towards me as he walked into the curtains on the other side- and I just couldn't move. I just couldn't speak up or catch up with him or anything and I just stood there for several minutes.

I knew it, right there and then

I had to

I had to bring the glee club back to this school

Whatever it would take

If there was more people with the talent that this boy left in this school

Then I just had to

Almost paralyzed from what I had just realized I slowly and stiff started walking down the hallway towards the parking lot again. "Kurt." I ran into the house later that day. "Kurt I need to speak to you, now, come on we'll go upstairs." I hadn't really noticed that Kurt was helping Carole with dinner so Kurt looked to her, she just waved to him to go with me and I more or less pulled him upstairs. "I've gotten the craziest, stupidest most wonderful idea ever." I almost jumped saying it as I closed the door to Kurt's room and told him.

"I….. I walked through McKinley and I heard music from the auditorium, and I walked in and I saw this boy I don't know who it was. But I just knew Kurt I just knew. I- I have to bring the glee club back. Because if there are more kids with this crazy talent that this boy had then McKinley just needs a place for it and I… I need to bring back the glee club I just need to."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea Blaine… but exactly how much have you thought about it?"

"About ten minutes but Kurt come on you didn't see that kid he had some crazy talent and oh I got the job by the way so I'm going to be at McKinley all day long anyway and Kurt, Kurt, Kurt. You know how much this glee club helped you and everybody else and I need to bring that back to the school I just know it."

"Blaine, that's a tremendous idea but just… just keep in mind that even now when Sue is gone it certainly won't be easy. And maybe you should talk to this Mr. Campbell and hear with him so it's okay for you to leave work to have glee club a few times a week." I sighed, feeling the extra excitement running of me before I sat down on the bed heavily.

I was going to say more but then there was a knock on the door and Carole opened it. "Boys? Can you come down into the kitchen there's something I need to speak to you and Burt about." I noticed the distressed look in Carole's eyes, face and whole body language and knew that this was too important, talks about plans for the glee club could wait for later and I and Kurt looked scared to one another before we stood up and followed her downstairs where Burt had arrived and the dinner stood on the table.

"Burt I know you've met him but Kurt… Blaine… do you know about my brother?" Both Burt and Carole looked to us two, I shook my head and Kurt looked to Carole.

"Isn't that him who lives in some tiny little town in Massachusetts and is a real…" Kurt stopped talking.

"Asshole." Burt finished his sentence and Burt nodded. "Yep, that's him."

"Well…" Carole continued. "He's got two children- my nephew and niece then of course- Christie and Michael and… Christie's very ill. She's got something called renal which is when…" She bit her lip searching for an explanation. "Well it's basically another word for kidney failure. And… now Stephen-my brother- have made up his mind that he can't stand to see her like this anymore- if I know my brother right it's because he's too lazy to care for her- he's decided to well… put her on a plane so that she can come and live here- with us."

"But that's terrible!" I stated. "I mean- who would send their sick kid away because they're too lazy to take care of her? What a jerk!" Carole nodded slightly and when everyone else seemed to have forgotten about the food she grabbed my plate and started putting up chicken and rice on it.

"I'd scold you for calling him a jerk and an asshole but I couldn't really have said it any better myself. He's been like that since we were little- self- centric I mean. If he doesn't like something then he'll just let it be no matter how important it is." She put my plate down in front of me and moved on with Kurt's. "But I was thinking… we can't keep Stephen from doing this- he knows I'll take care of her though so I guess he could have been worse- but… she'll stay here for a long while so we obviously need to make room for her- and I was thinking we could re- do Finn's room." Carole put Kurt's plate down and then sat down heavily, she was looking down but we could all hear her sniveling and see how she lifted her hand to wipe a tear from her eye.

"Hey." Burt moved closer to her and stroke her back. "You don't have to do that. We could just as well re- do the guest room." Carole shook her head and cleared her throat.

"No." She looked up again "I'm sorry. Finn's room is the biggest- the closest to the bathroom when she gets sick- close to both ours and yours. It will be the best believe me and there's no reason for Finn's room to just stand there and collect dust. We cleaned his room at the college out so we can take this one too." After giving Burt food she finally put food on her own plate, and then we could sit down to eat. "And as well… first of all we need to clean it out, then you Burt is painting it- just white or something else that will work- then I need one of you guys to help Burt paint. And I think Finn's old bed will do because it was almost new when Finn moved. But the rest of the furniture and things we'll have to buy... so I need one to help me with that.. is… there… anyone who would like to help me."

"I will, I will, I will, I will." Kurt was almost too excited and I nodded to Burt in a gesture to show that I'd help him. Kurt's excitement had kind of lit up the atmosphere a little and we all turned to our plates to eat and Carole continued telling us about Christie and all pranks she and Finn had been doing when they were younger. Suddenly getting serious.

"I haven't met Christie for years though. The last time I met her she was nine and I and Finn went there on his vacation from school once but she's… she's five years older now, she's a lot more mature and not to mention a lot more sick than what she was then. She's a whole other person, I am a whole other person now from then too and… according to my brother's wife and my nephew Christie's changed a lot just in the last few months … I guess that we will all see on Sunday afternoon when she comes here won't we?"

Both Burt and Carole took days off work the rest of the week- I guess no one of them wanted to- and none of them maybe should but- with us all being caught up in trying to clear out Finn's old room was something that seemed to take a lot more time than what any of us had expected. "Hey" We were sitting around the living room with some of Finn's old boxes of clothes and Kurt spoke up. "Remember this?"

Kurt held up a red T- shirt that to me seemed like just any T- shirt but that it obviously wasn't to Kurt as he carefully held it on one of his hands and then picked up some invisible piece of dust or whatever before he folded it slowly and carefully. "Blaine? Do you remember what I told you about when we did don't stop believing?" I nodded. "Well this is the shirt that he was wearing." Kurt carefully laid it down in the box for keeping.

"Oh, Burt honey." Carole's voice was heard and he stopped himself in the middle of a move putting down a hoodie in the box for things we were giving away. "I'll take care of that shirt we can't sell it." She smiled holding it and seemed to remember something. "Christie loved it, she used to steal it from him all the time…. He'd want her…" Carole sniveled and her voice seemed shaky and broke when she continued talking. "He'd want her to have it." Carole held her palm pressed towards her mouth obviously trying to keep from crying even though it was too late.

Kurt was the closest- and the fastest one of us, he jumped over some things on the floor and then embraced his stepmum. Burt soon came after and embraced them both, I looked to my watch- I didn't want to interrupt this sweet family moment so I was planning to do just by lunchtime- except now was dinner and drive and buy food since no one had the time or was in the mood to do cooking.

"Oh no you don't Mister." Carole's voice stopped me and I turned around to see her stretching her arm out as if to embrace someone that was coming to her. "Come here." I hesitated, I might be family now when I and Kurt were married but doing like that would be like barging into their family in a way that I shouldn't. "Come here honey- I'm going to pull you over here if I have to and I'd rather not." I smiled and then walked closer and put my arms around each of Carole's and Kurt's shoulders.

"I love you so much." Carole's voice was shivering. "And I'm afraid I can almost promise that this is going to be hard but… we've got each other- that's what's important okay? We can do this- together! Don't you dare give up when things get hard." She hung her head and cleared her throat. "Now come on. We'd better get a move on." She grabbed the hoodie and hung it over the back of the sofa and then turned away from it when she went through another box.

We were done with going through Finn's old things after midnight, and after we had moved out the furniture we were giving or throwing away we all fell into our beds more or less- and I noticed that I wasn't the only one falling asleep still in both jeans and button up- but hey- I'd change in the morning

In… the… morn…

On Friday Burt, Carole and Kurt drove away with a big truck from Hummel's tires and lube to get the pieces of furniture we needed (well, hopefully) and everything else, including painting for the walls. I didn't feel like driving so I got a bus to McKinley and walked over to the principal's office. The new principal was a young woman- perhaps just a few years older than me with a big smile and kind eyes, and seeing just that I knew only right away she'd give me the answer I wanted about putting up the glee club.

"From what I've heard about the glee club in this school earlier you Mr. Hummel- Anderson must be out of your mind." She smiled and leaned back, twisting her chair slightly. "But I like you- I like the vision you seem to have- so I'm going to say yes." I jumped up on my feet and happily pulled a hand through my hair. "Promise me one thing though- make it be more about the students' happiness and well- being that about the winning and the talent okay?" I nodded.

"Oh. Miss… Miss Riley I could… I… I'm sorry I just got to," Without hesitating I hurried around the desk and simply just embraced Miss Riley- don't say it I was already ashamed for it. "Thank you… I'm… I'm going to make you happy for saying yes okay? Okay now I need to go speak to Mister Campbell" Miss Riley smiled.

"I'll talk to him. Don't worry- I've known Mr. Campbell since I was born more or less. I know just the way to make him give in for just about anything so he'll give you time off for directing the glee club. And I already am happy for saying yes." I opened my mouth to say more when my phone went off with the song teenage dream- the signal for when my Kurt was calling.

"Sorry I should probably take this." I pressed to answer the call and put the phone to my ear. "Hey honey." I started to say more but didn't have the time before he interrupted. "Whoa Kurt, slow down I can't understand a word of what you're saying."

"There's been some mix of about when Christie was arriving. She's at the airport waiting for us now. We're on our way, if you want to come we can pick you up?" I nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me and answered yes. "Are you at McKinley? We'll be by the main entrance in two minutes." I hung up after saying goodbye for the moment.

"I'm sorry I need to go. I don't really have time to explain but I really need to leave. Oh and by the way. I think there's a new student coming on Monday, I'll call when I know more bye." I spun around and jogged down the hallway and down the stairs, coming through the doors outside just as the car pulled over and I could jump in into the back seat.

"The next time I see that god damn bastard I swear I'll strangle him with my own bear hands." Carole mumbled- and I almost choke on the drink that I had le… okay… stolen from Kurt for the moment. "Telling me she'll arrive on Sunday when he knows perfectly well it's Friday just because one Christie will be waiting for me to come and get her for hours before she calls me up and two because he knows I'll feel bad for it and three because he knows we won't have fixed what we need to before we need to get her." Carole made a sharp turn towards the airport and hit the gas.

"Where's the truck you were getting by the way?" I asked and looked to Kurt as I wanted to think of anything else than Carole's tirade of swearing words to the red stoplight because if I didn't I'd laugh at it even though there was actually nothing funny in the situation- it was just so unlike Carole.

"It's so heavy it's slow so we drove by at home and switched." Kurt grabbed onto the seat before Carole made another sharp turn, I that wasn't just as smart fell to the side with the sharp turn and hit my head in the window. "Carole take it easy!" Kurt scolded. "Blaine honey are you okay?" I moaned and stroke the side of my face.

"I'm sorry honey." Carole said and glanced at me in the rearview mirror. "Do you want me to take a look at that when we've met up with Christie?" I shook my head and lowered my hand again despite the still pounding side of my face- I was definitely getting a black eye from that but nothing I wouldn't be able to handle.

And when Carole pulled over in the parking lot in front of the airport I was fast enough to hold tightly onto the seat in front of me. "Come on then guys." Carole said and stepped out before she- just in front of us others as I gripped tightly onto Kurt's hand. After we came into the airport Carole led us up some stairs while she explained to me what was going on. "Christie's mum called me just about half an hour ago and said Christie had called her and said we weren't here yet. So she were wondering if we were safe, that's how I found out she was arriving today and not Sunday like Stephen told me." Carole looked around the waiting hall. "Damn it where is she?"

"Is that her?" Burt asked and nodded towards a girl sitting on a row of plastic chairs Indian style, her clothes- printed black sweatpants, grey- brown, printed hoodie and a black backpack with small white polka dots all seemed way too big for her- even the backpack and along with a trunk and a rolling bag I didn't understand how she had gotten this far. A member of staff sat by her and I could guess it was because she was under age and travelling alone he needed to make sure the right person came and got her from the airport.

But none of that actually mattered- the first thing I realized was how small the girl was- Carole had told us she would be small for her age- fourteen turning fifteen in February- but I hadn't expected her to be this tiny. She looked like her… like a light gust of wind could knock her right over that's how small she was.

"Yeah that's her." Carole said at last. "You wait here." She walked towards the little girl sitting glaring up at the man from the staff. "Christie?" Christie looked away from the man and over to Carole just as Carole rushed over and embraced the young teenager. We didn't hear what they were saying but we saw Christie's lips moving when she said something and Carole showed her ID to the staff member before she showed to me, Kurt and Burt come closer.

"Christie, this is my husband Burt, his son Kurt, and Kurt's husband Blaine. Guys this is Christie." Christie glanced to Burt and then to Kurt before she glanced over to me- and then her eyes met mine- and for one split second before I just thought… I just thought.

"Her eyes!" Kurt whispered to me. I nodded.

"I know."

"I thought…."

"Me too!"

**So… any guesses what it is with Christie's eyes? **

**Oh, and when I'm writing this the only chapter I've got left for my update- all- of- my- stories- at- the- same- time- project is Barole A to Z. So as soon as that that chapter is done all of them chapters and this one will be up. **

**Oh and also, this story is currently not top priority cause I've got nine stories and well, but I will do my very best to keep updating, and I won't abandon the story. And one more thing- I usually don't use songlyrics in my stories, but in this chapter there's a song that I'm free to use because I wrote it myself. I don't want anyone to use it in their story if they'd want to- without one- asking me first and two- give me credit for it. **

**So, keep them syoc's coming. I can't wait to see what you've got **


	2. Cast list and notes

Hello, here is Linneagb again with the official cast list and a couple of questions

The syoc is now closed, Closed! Closed! Closed! So here's the final and official cast list

**Official cast list (Name, age, grade, celebrity look alike and creator) **

Christie Kyemohr, 14, Freshman, Savannah McReynolds, My OC

Daniel Vincent, 17, Junior, Shane Harper, My OC

Keagan Spencer, 16, Junior, Alex Goot, sent in by LocalXmusicXjellybeanX

Bradon Fredericks, 16, Sophomore, Caden Boyd, sent in by LocalXmusicXjellybeanX

Seth Anderson- Phillips, 16, Sophomore, Sam Woolf, Sent in by GleeJunkie007

Esme Montague, 16, Sophomore, Shelley Hennig, sent in by Lorelai Sofia Petrova

Lea-Marie Hale, 15, Sophomore, Alicia Josipovic, sent in by IloveheartlandX

Jasper Birch, 14, Freshman, Oliver Coleman, sent in by TamJaspie

Belle Jolie, 17, Junior, Jessica Sula, sent in by Gleekfreak908

Dakota Lopez, 14, Freshman, David Archuleta, sent in by BabyGleeFan11

Charlotte Amato, 15, Freshman, G Hannelius, sent in by joshiferjennoist

Sharon Fischer, 15, Sophomore, Emma Stone, sent in by yonna9queen

So that's the final and official cast list. I hope and do believe I've made the right choices. I'm going away from home for the next week, but I should have the first introductions chapter up some time during this week. If you can't wait to read more there are short summaries of each character and pictures to check out on my profile, and I and a couple of my friends are doing polyvores- there's a collection for this story on my polyvore- link on my profile so you could go check it out if you want to in waiting for the introductions.

Thank you all for your characters, it was really hard to choose so I'm so sorry for anyone who didn't make it in.

And at last, two questions. The prologue ended with Blaine and Kurt saying something about Christie's eyes. Any guesses what makes Klaine so… well… stunned by Christie's eyes?

And at another question- any guesses who the person in the cover- picture is- the answer will be in the A/N to the next chapter I just want to see if anyone can guess- or if anyone can get it right. 


	3. Introductions part one

**Hello. Here is Linneagb once again with a brand new chapter, this is the first introductions chapter- and oh- to the question about Christie's eyes I had one person guessing they were similar to Finn's, and one person guessing that maybe they were two different colors- the answer will be in Christie's part of this chapter, and to the other question- who is in the cover- I had one guess Darren Criss, one guess it's me, and then a number of people that had no clue- answer is in the A/N at the bottom of this chapter **

**Lea- Marie POV **

"UGH." I hit my palm in the table. "You're so selfish, you never get me what I want." I stood up and stomped through the kitchen. Stopping with my hand at the door frame out to the hallway- I knew just the thing that would always work and make dad buy me what I wanted. "Vorrei che mamma fosse qui"

To tell dad that I wish my mum was here- I could almost see it shatter his heart into pieces as he lifted his chin from his hands and put one hand over his eyes. Seeing him do that- for a split second made me feel bad about what I had said and made me want to go over there and hug him- but I wasn't going to give in this time.

I turned around again stomping down the hallway and up the stairs to the third floor, the third floor that was all my room- it didn't even take a door because the whole floor was my room and there was a door in the beginning of the stairs- that I slammed as hard as I could on my way up. I slumped down on my bed and reached for the necklace lying on my bedside table for the night.

I twisted the silver chain around my fingers and took the charm- a silver heart with an "L" in my other hand and opened the locket before I carefully stroke the photo of my mum in it with the tip of my thumb and sighed- saying it to my dad was just another try to get the latest phone on the market- but in fact I really did wish she was here.

I just really missed her

When I heard dad come through the door and close it I closed the locket and pulled the clenched my hand carefully around it just as I could see dad's black- going on grey thatch over the wooden boards by the stairs before he walked all up and came and sat down by me. I hung my head and forced a couple of tears from my eyes before I sniveled.

"Lea, honey." Dad laid his palm towards my back and tried to pull me close. But I didn't give in and stayed by the head of the bed looking down and lifting my hand in a way to make my fake- crying seeming even more real. "Mio caro" Dad stroke away a tress of my long fringe hanging like a curtain in front of my face, but I pulled away from him without looking up.

From the corner of my eye I could see dad pull a hand through his hair- still tousled from the pillow and biting his lip in that way he used to when he was thinking about how to express himself still holding his hand on the back of his head, his fingers wrapped in all the dark, frizzy hair. "So" He began at last. "What was it that you wanted?"

I knew I didn't have to say it again so I raised and wiped the fake- tears before lying my cheek down on dad's shoulder and looking up at him , blinking with my big, green eyes and long eye- lashes. "Please daddy?" Dad sighed- I had my mother's eyes- and that's a part of why both I and he knew he couldn't say no when I looked at him like this. Dad sighed and looked away.

"Let's take a look at it when you come home from school today okay?" I smiled- and laid my head down on his shoulder in a more relaxed way- I knew it meant I would get what I wanted and I reached out my hand for my dad to take my hand in his, he did and lifted up my hand to kiss the back of it. "I love you Lea." He mumbled. "And I miss her too." I sighed- my mother had died of cancer four years ago.

"I need to go now." I pulled the chain to my necklace around my neck and took my handbag. "I don't want to be late for school." I grabbed the bigger bag that held my things for volleyball and swimming and dad helped me to pull it onto my back before I reached up to kiss his cheek before I walked down the stairs right in front of my dad who was working from home as usual today.

When I walked through the hallway downstairs towards the door dad's girlfriend Marion McDonald came out of the bathroom- smelling of vomit and with a hand laying towards her stomach, I felt dad gently pushing me out of the way to get past me and over to Marion where he laid a hand towards her back and let her lean against him.

I turned around in the door and looked to them both-none of them even looked at me before I turned around again, walked out of the house and threw my bags in the passenger seat before starting to drive down the hill and towards William McKinley high school. I drove on automat, inside my head the thoughts were spinning in my head.

Marion had stayed at our house tonight, in fact I thought she had a bit way too often lately. It wasn't that we didn't have space for her that made me hate the fact that she was staying more and more often. We had more than enough space, but I just didn't like who was taking up the extra space.

I just didn't like the way she was trying to get me to like her

I just didn't like the way she was trying to be my mum

She wasn't my mum!

I shook my head and let go of the thoughts before the thoughts had led me to thinking about my mum- I didn't want to think about her- not now! I forced myself to think about something else and tried my best to think about how to do it to give myself an as good chance as possible to get in trying out for the swimming team today.

But I couldn't stop thinking about dad and Marion anyway

They hadn't told me yet- but come on! I wasn't stupid!

I knew what it meant when someone- a woman went from being completely healthy and everything to suddenly getting sick and throw up every morning- always in the morning.

I pushed the thought away as I grabbed my bags and stepped out of the car by the school before walking in. When I stood by my locker I threw my bag inside with a bang, noticing a little Freshman (or something) that I hadn't seen before standing and looking by me with a woman- I could guess it was her mother because I didn't recognize her as someone who worked here and there was something similar in the proportions of the faces of them both- and I just had a feeling!

But who on earth would bring their mother with them to school? In High school? It wasn't even the first day!

"What?" After I had slammed my locker closed with more power than I had actually planned the girl was still staring at me, so when I asked her what she finally looked away, the woman told the girl something I couldn't hear and then I took my bag and walked down the hallway.

But my God! Was that woman stalking me or something?

As I stood by the bulletin board she came over and said something to a young adult- probably older than a student but way too young to be teaching high school students putting a paper on the board, I couldn't hear what she was saying. But I could catch that it was something about keeping an eye on somebody and the name "Blaine" before the woman turned around and walked down the hall again while the dark- haired man walked away in another direction.

I glanced over the bulletin board, I had already signed up for the Volleyball team and the Swimming team so I didn't really know why- there nothing else interesting in this school was it? Or at least I didn't think so until I spotted the paper the dark- haired young man had put up before- "Glee club" I read. "Auditions Tuesday 12: 30" I sighed and was on my way to turn around when I suddenly realized what it was I had read.

I hesitated, glee club was for nerds and outcasts wasn't it? But- I always felt like… like when I sung- it made me feel like my mum was there-maybe because she was the one to teach me to sing, and sing to me, back in Italy when I was little.

I bit my lip still hesitating- I knew it could push me down to one of them who would never be safe from slushies and insults walking down the hallway but- it was worth a try wasn't it? If it made me feel closer to my mum…

I took the pencil hanging on the board and slowly signed my name on the upper line of the list.

After all

There was no way any club would get on and function without anyone popular and high- ranked in it.

I was for sure what the glee club needed!

**Bradon POV **

"Bye geek!" My older brother Alex shouted to me when he jogged towards the soccer field by McKinley just after both I, him and my other older brother Bennett had stepped out of his car, Ben grabbed his skateboard and skated away towards the school building and I pulled my Harry- Potter- backpack onto my shoulders and slowly walked towards the front doors.

The first person I spotted coming through the doors of McKinley was Keagan Spencer who sat upon some lockers in the beginning of the hallway. I smiled, walked over there and bent my neck backwards to be able to look up at my best friend. "Hey" I greeted him. "Have you got a nice view?" Keagan nodded and reached out his hand to help me up but when I shook my head at it he shoved it in his pocket again.

"Hey geek." Alex walked by with another insult- I shook my head and tried to push away the thoughts about that I really didn't like the way he treated me- it didn't make anything better so I could just as well act like I didn't care. Alex just continued walking down the hallway and was soon out of my sight, and anyway I stood there and watched the point where he had disappeared- well- until I heard someone call my name.

"Bradon Fredericks!" I span around to see Carole Hudson standing there- she and her son had lived in the neighbor- house when I was little but when she married when I was nine or ten she moved away. "Don't come and tell me you still let your brother treat you like that!" I sighed and didn't know what to answer, so I looked away and wondered about how to switch subject when Keagan jumped down from the lockers and reached out his hand to greet Carole.

"Hey I'm Keagan." I continued looking away while they greeted each other and thought back- that one of my older twin- brothers was treating me like something the cat had dragged inside wasn't any news for either me or Carole. That's how it had been already when we were neighbors and she came over to let Finn play soccer with Alex or teach me to play the guitar and drums.

"Well…" Carole laid her hand against the back of a very short and very skinny girl that stood next to her. "This is Christie- she's my niece and well… she just arrived here to live here… I suppose we'd better get on- I want to have a talk with the new principal…" Carole was meaning to say more when Christie shook her hand off.

"Get off." Carole moved her hands to hold them behind her back and looked- seeming as she thought it- whatever it was, was quite hopeless and sighed- even though I could tell she was trying not to.

"Well… it feels… weird to be back here again. Have a good day Bradon, it was nice to see you again honey." She clapped my shoulder and then walked away through the hallway just as I and Keagan also started walking towards Keagan's locker. While she stood and got out her math equipment I stood by the bulletin board.

"Someone's putting up a new glee club." I stated and looked to Keagan. "Interesting?" Keagan shrugged.

"I guess I'll think about it… would you like to sign up... auditions are tomorrow!" I bit my lip and thought about it for a few seconds before I shrugged too. I liked singing and dancing- and playing the guitar and the drums- it was only one, tiny little problem…

"You're not signing up for the glee club are you Brady?" Suddenly Alex was behind me. "You know what I have told you Bradon… everything that Finn Hudson taught you was all a waste of time. If you joined the glee club it would be even more of a waste." Alex laughed and I sighed when he turned around and walked down the hallway.

"Don't listen to him Bradon." Keagan stated. "You join the glee club if you want to." I sighed.

"I'll think about it." Keagan closed his locker and we walked towards my locker. I was a sophomore and he was a Junior- but I had math class along with a Juniors' class along with- amongst others Keagan. I got my things and walked with Keagan towards the math classroom. Math was one of my best subjects and I usually didn't have any problems with concentrating, but this lesson I just couldn't keep concentration.

As soon as I told myself to start concentrating and turned to my books there was something that made me lose concentration, either it was murmur from someone asking help from the teacher or their friends- or simply just babbling their way through the lesson, or the sound of someone tapping a pencil towards their desk or their feet against the floor, or someone leaving for the bathroom or to get something or anything else- my head would shoot up and then I was back at square one

Because as soon as I lost concentration of my books my thoughts went back to the glee club, auditions and the Hudson's. And the clock seemed to go in slow motion as the seconds slowly passed by through the lesson, each second feeling like ages before the bell finally rang and there was the usual bangs and sounds of everyone trying to gather their things and get out in the hallway.

It felt like decades ago that the phone had been ringing and my mum went to take it. When she answered "Oh hey Carole" a smile had formed on her face- but it had faded more and more as tears started rising in her eyes throughout the talk until she hung up and gathered us all in the kitchen to tell us that Finn had been hit by a car and there was nothing the doctors could do to save him

"Braaaadon" Suddenly Keagan's voice reached through my thoughts. "Bradon, Braaaadon…" I blinked and shook my head to return to reality. "Bradon are you alright?" I stopped and then suddenly realized I had my hand clenched around the guitar pick in my pocket before I shook my head again and opened my locker.

"I'm fine… hey Keags, can I meet you outside Miss Jonas's classroom later, I think there is half an hour until the next lessons starts and there's something I need to do." Keagan frowned, but nodded and clapped my shoulder slightly before she walked away towards her locker and I turned in the other direction and walked towards the choir room.

Inside the choir room I stopped by the plaque with a photo and a quote of Finn Hudson. "The show must go on… all over the place… or something" I smiled slightly while I pulled out the guitar pick from my pillow and watched it holding it between my thumb and my fingertips in the light from the lamp in the ceiling.

It was only a few weeks after Finn had died- seven days less since his funeral when Carole had showed up on our doorstep with a plastic box with a number of Finn's old guitar picks- and had with thick voice explained that she was going to give them away to some thrift shop but well there she couldn't- they had meant too much to Finn for her to know that they would end up in the hands of someone that didn't mean anything to either her or Finn- and to never know where they ended up.

She said she knew that the whiles where Finn had gotten to teach me how to play guitar had meant a lot to him- and therefore she was giving some of the guitar picks to me- passing around the rest among his other friends.

Some time standing there with a slight smile on my face and the guitar pick in my hand I decided what to do, and without hesitating I walked out of the choir room and with my head held high I walked through the hallway to the bulletin board and grabbed the pencil hanging on the board to put my signature under Lea- Marie Hale's.

"Don't worry Finn" I mumbled to myself when I stepped away from the board. "I'm not going to disappoint you- I promise."

And even though I felt so secure and proud saying it there and then

I prayed to God I wouldn't have to break my promise

**Christie POV **

"So" My aunt Carole exclaimed when we came out of the principal's office on Monday morning after the Friday I arrived in Lima. "Have you got everything?" I nodded but didn't have any intention of searching through all the billions of things I had in my backpack to actually check. "Here." She pulled out a bus- card from her wallet and reached it to me. "Number nine goes straight from up by the school parking lot to the hospital." She explained all the details I needed to get myself to the hospital later. "We'll get you your own bus- card later, you've got both mine and the others' phone numbers- don't hesitate to call if you have to- I mean it." I sighed- and nodded even though I knew perfectly well it would take much- too much before I called any of the Hudson-Hummel- Anderson's up, I guess Carole knew too because she sighed too.

"Come here." She gestured for me to get closer and then laid her hand towards my hair and kissed my forehead. "Just call me if you need anything okay?" I nodded. "I'll be at the hospital and meet you up later. Are you sure you don't want me to stay? You know I could call in to work and…" I gave her a meaning glare. "I know honey… have a good day. See you later and you know that Blaine is here somewhere if you need him." I nodded, Carole backed away after giving me a hug and I walked in the other direction down the hallway, when I turned around and looked after her she had turned around and was walking towards the stairs, I sighed and then turned around to keep on walking again.

"MR. FREDERICKS." I suddenly heard some teacher shout over the usual sounds of a school hallway. "NO SKATING IN THE HALLWAY" I looked up, then barely had the time to react someone coming towards me before I was knocked off my feet by someone falling upon me.

Well this was a great start wasn't it?

"I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry I didn't see you." The boy tried to push himself up- elbowing me in the back on his way and I felt the pain shoot through my back as he had just barely managed to elbow me right where the kidney was. "I'm sorry." After what felt like ages the boy was on his feet- and I could- in front of the eyes of everybody who had gathered around get onto my feet and look around before I stumbled towards a bathroom and into a stall where I sunk down onto the floor pressing my hand towards the area the boy had elbowed while I put the other hand in my mouth not to scream in pain.

I felt tears of pain rising in my eyes but forced them back as I lifted my hand and wiped away them tears that had already escaped from my eyes, trembling with sobs that I forced back until I felt the pain ease slowly, then I stood up and slowly made my way out into and through the hallway again. Holding the map that the principal had given me over the school in search for the right classroom- of course finding the right classroom about fifteen minutes too late.

"Sorry I'm late." I mumbled coming into the classroom, and lowered my head as I felt everybody's eyes on me. The teacher- an old man I'd never met before- duh! Of course. Lowered his and looked at me over his glasses in that way that made me feel tiny- well- even tinier than what I actually was. He looked to me for a few seconds and then opened his mouth to speak.

"It's alright- just don't let it happen again. You must be miss…. Ky… Kee."

"Kye- More."

"Yeah- Christie- you're not on my list but… I heard that you were coming so… you just take that spot by Miss Amato." He pointed with his whole hand and I pulled my backpack off while walking towards the desk by a tall, skinny girl- obviously with the last name Amato before I sat down by her and pulled out a notebook to take notes of what the teacher said.

When the lesson ended I was one of the last ones to come out of the classroom and right away I saw Blaine- and here we go again! "No Blaine, not again. I'm not auditioning for that glee club and I've already told you a thousand times." Blaine started saying something- protesting I assumed. "I know Carole said I can sing- but she's only heard me sing when I was little and she sang twinkle, twinkle little star with me and Finn- I hope that my voice have changed since then." I threw my backpack over one shoulder and tried to walk down the hallway when Blaine caught me.

"I've given up on that for now- but come on- there's something I want to show you- and I'll show you to your classroom afterwards." Blaine laid a hand towards my shoulder and led me down the hallway and down some stairs, then through another corridor where he pushed a door to a room open. I looked around the room, it was empty so I just glared up at Blaine- who pointed.

There was a plaque on the wall, with a picture of Finn, right under reading his name, the year he was born and the year he died and at last "The show must go on… all over the place…. Or something." I shoved my hands in my pockets and then just stood there for a few seconds, hesitating if I was going to ask or not.

"Can I just be alone for a minute?" Blaine nodded and backed out the door while exclaiming that he would be right outside. I just kept on looking right at the photo of Finn- and right into his chocolate- brown eyes.

I knew it hurt Carole and the others to look me in the eyes- I had heard Kurt and Blaine talking about how for just a split second when I looked them in the eyes at the airport had thought that Finn was there- ha! As if I wasn't half a meter taller and about half as big! I knew it hurt Carole because I noticed how she turned away talking to me- or at least looked somewhere else than into my eyes- And I could see how tensed Burt looked every time my eyes met his even though he was trying to hide it.

And I knew it because it hurt me too! Every single time I looked in the mirror I saw them damn eyes- and I saw Finn- and there I saw not only one person that was with pretty big possibility going to die young- but also a fantastic person that would forever be young. I saw Finn- I saw my best friend- I saw so many things in a pair of eyes that belonged to me- but that should still be his.

I saw the one and only person who had ever heard me sing for real, I saw the person who had held me while- already then- the renal was starting to have its symptoms causing my muscles to cramp, my kidneys to hurt and the skin on my arms and legs get so itchy I scratched until I was bleeding, that had just held me then softly humming on I can't fight this feeling or don't stop believing to keep my thoughts away from my hurting and itching body until it had eased. I saw the person that had been the person- the one and only person that I knew I could steal my mum's phone for a little while and call up and he would always answer and always say the things I needed to her with his child- like stupidity- but oh such a wisdom.

And that and oh so much more I saw looking into my own eyes in a freaking mirror

And now looking behind a glass of a frame.

And that was when I decided what to do.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with myself here Finn." I almost whispered. "But whatever it is and however much time I've got left I swear I'm gonna make you proud." I wiped the tears with my sleeve- don't cry Christie, don't cry, don't cry, DON'T CRY!

When I could finally keep control over my feelings again I turned around with a last glance over my shoulder towards the most important person in my life- and that's when I realized that I knew the glee club he had been in had once helped him- so maybe this glee club could help me like it helped him.

Maybe I would have to re- consider the option I had chosen about not auditioning

Yes…. Maybe!

**Jasper POV **

I saw my sister Evie standing by her locker so I walked up and hid a bit behind the door and held the paper- mask we had done in art class in front of my face- Eve had been a bit down this morning I had noticed- so now as just as always I would do my very best to make her laugh. I could see the locker through the holes for eyes in the mask as my sister closed the locker and then turned to me.

"Boo!" I said smiling- even though she couldn't see it behind the mask- and that I didn't scare her. Evie just shook her head silently and walked past me. I felt a frown form in between my eyes and turned to her. "Hey are you okay?" I walked after her down the hall. "Eves? What's going on?" Evie rushed through the hallway and down the stairs into a quite empty hallway with me still after before she turned to me- and even though she had her hands over her mouth I could see and hear her short, shallow breaths.

Panic attack!

"Hey" I laid one arm around her shoulders and pulled her close while I put the other hand towards the back of her head and started stroking her hair and her back. "It's okay Evie." I lowered my chin and slightly touched the top of my older sister's head with my lips. "It's alright. Try to feel my breathing and breathe with me okay?"

I knew for a fact it didn't help my sister to breathe loudly and in that way have her breathing with me in that way. What could help was holding her close and make sure my chest moved as much as possible with every slow, deep breath I took so she could feel them towards her chest and in that way start to breathe with me, while I softly hummed on her favorite songs. It helped also this time and I heard and felt Evie's breaths getting deeper and slower before she stepped away from me and wiped tears from her eyes.

My sister had been suffering from depression since she was fifteen and I was twelve, more than two years had passed since then and I had- as it started quickly learned that I was sometimes the only one that could- and had the time to comfort her- and it had moved on from there with me taking care of her- even though I was two years younger than her- and more than often had to act like the older brother instead of the younger like I actually was.

Loads of people- actually most people would think that I would be the older sibling, I had heard at least a dozen times just this summer when I told people that I was starting Freshman year that I looked more like the age of someone who was starting Freshman year in college than someone who was starting Freshman year in high school. I was head taller than my older sister, had a more- as my aunt and uncle had said- mature look over the whole of me- and then that all with that I was often taking care of Evie like an older brother would be taking care of his younger sister.

But even though she was the older- for me to take care of her when she was sad or afraid or anything- had never been an option- not because anyone had forced or expected of me to do so- but because I wanted to take care of my sister like anyone who cared about her would want to.

"I'm sorry" Evie took a deep, shaky breath while I kept my hand stroking her back. Exhausted by the panic attack and whatever had started it she leaned against my shoulder, still me holding one palm against her back and rubbing circles while she lifted one of her hands and stroke her face, keeping her hand over her eyes for a split second before continuing down towards her chin.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. Do you want to leave and go home?" Evie shook her head and then pushed herself up while I pulled off my sports bag and searched through one of the side pockets. "Here" I handed her the energy drink I was actually going to save for later for after I had tried out for McKinley high school's distance running team- but it didn't matter- Evie needed it now if she was going to make it to lunch without crashing or having another panic attack.

Evie smiled thankfully and took a sip from the sugary drink. "I don't know what started it." She told me without getting the question. "I just… suddenly I just felt so sick and then I just couldn't breathe- thank God it wasn't in the middle of the lesson- again!" I nodded- most teachers had at least a little bit of respect for Evie- or anyone who had problems like depression or panic attacks- but there was one who hadn't.

Evie had just come from her math lesson I knew as a matter of fact, and the math teacher Evie had- Mr. Jacobson was an old- fashioned man who- the only time Evie had dared to tell him about how she was feeling during a panic attack in math class- had gone on and on in front of the whole class about how incredibly weak someone who let themselves get depression or panic- attacks were.

Jerk!

I smiled softly back at Evie and closed the bottle she reached back to me before putting it back in the side pocket of my bag with a quick glance at my watch- it was still fifteen minutes left until the second class of today started and I knew Evie's started at the same time so I took time to walk slowly alongside her, as her body still seemed week and shaky- with my arm around her shoulders through the school's hallways.

"Look at this." I glanced over the bulletin board that hung right by my locker. "Someone is setting up a glee club- there is so far… two people that have signed up to audition. Lea- Marie Hale and Bradon Fredericks-" I thought a split second to search in my mind wondering if I knew who she was. "Nope, no idea who it is… what do you say? Should we help this poor guy who's trying to set up a glee club after what happened to the last one?"

Even I knew about the New Directions

Evie shrugged. "Oh, come on." I nagged. "I like singing and dancing, you like singing and dancing, and we both like playing the piano and playing the guitar. The auditions are tomorrow- we should sign up!" Evie shrugged again. "Come on, maybe it could help you. Spending time with others and doing what you love if you get what I mean?" Evie bit her lip and I could see she was hesitating. "We could at least try and audition."

"Well…" Evie sighed. "Why not?" I smiled and took the pencil she reached me and wrote up our names on the list of people auditioning so now the list read

_Lea- Marie Hale  
Bradon Fredericks  
Jasper and Evie Birch_

"So… I say we audition together!"

**So… what was the right answer to who is in the cover? Actually- Gleekfreak908 answered it correctly- the person on the cover is me! YAY! And then some credit to my mum for shooting the photo… (that actually was the third time we went outside when it was raining to try and get a good photo) so well… it's me. YAY! **

**As well, credit to Joshiferjennoist for helping me to translate what Lea- Marie and her dad says in the beginning- "I wish mum was here" and "My dear" Only in the chapter it's in Italian- so joshiferjennoist translated it. **

**If you review it might take a while before I answer since I'm in Norway and the Internet's acting up all the freaking time. But I will answer as soon as I get the time, please let me know if you liked it, or not. **


	4. Introductions part two

**Hello again… oh no! It's Linneagb…. Again! But I guess you'll have to live with me returning again and again and again for a little while. So here is introductions part two, and if you haven't realized that, the order with the POV's are girl- boy- girl- boy… etc. **

**Belle POV **

In the break between second and third class I finally walked up the stairs to William McKinley High School and pushed the door open. On the way through the hallway I walked into the bathroom and stopped by the mirror checking so the collar on my button- up was fully covering the bruise on the side of my neck. God knows what trouble I would be in if someone noticed it and asked where it came from.

After making sure both that bruise was covered and there was no others on my hands or any other visible part of my body, then- with only five minutes left before the third class would start I fixed my pony- tail and then walked out of the bathroom and down the hallway to my locker, where I stood when my best friend Seth caught up with me.

"Oh, ouch-you're dressed in red… it's not me is it?" I glared up as an only answer- he was right though- even Seth Anderson- Phillips had learned to see how the color of my clothes would reflect my mood- if I was wearing blue I was sad, red- angry, yellow, happy etc. So today- when I was wearing a red button up with a red skirt and red, low converse there was just no doubt for Seth when he saw me what I was feeling.

"And why are you late?" I sighed and glanced to my watch, ten seconds until the bell would ring, nine, eight, seven. "Bells. Why are you late?" Four, three, two, one…

RIIIIIIIIIIIIING

"I'll explain later." I took a glance at the photo I had hanging on the inside of my locker- the one of me and my brother Lenny- me riding piggy- back on him and stretching my neck for me to be seen behind his shoulder with a big, silly smile- before I slammed the door close. Not noticing that my hand never left the side of the lock.

"F*********************************CK" I shouted. Having more than one of the students in the hallway- and there were many- stopping or just turning around to watch me while I held my bleeding hand in the other and jumped up and down swearing while Seth still stood by my locker- and carefully closed it before gently grabbing my arms to hold me still.

I wasn't one to swear much or often- it happened at the most a couple of times a month- and therefore- during these few seconds I said enough words to otherwise last me at least a decade. That freaking lock that I had thrown right so I got that right in my palm- below the thumb- must have been quite sharp because I felt blood completely soaking my other palm holding around it.

"Stop, stop, stop…" Seth held me still. "Here let me see." I pulled away my hand from him and backed a few steps, I could see and hear him sighing but- since he was one class below me he was going in the other direction, I started to carefully search through my bag in search for a tissue that I used as a temporary bandage around my hand.

"Sorry I'm late." I came into the classroom- on the top floor of course about five minutes too late and sat down. When the teacher walked by I could see him glance to my right hand that I held under the desk- thank God I was left handed! But he just kept on walking and didn't say anything about that- or how I every five minutes grabbed a card from the teacher's desk to go out to the bathroom and get new tissues to roll around my hand until it had stopped bleeding.

Well this day had started of great hadn't it?

After third class it was time for lunch, and I was meeting up with Seth- he had only moved here in the beginning of the summer and hadn't made friends with too many yet- we lived next- doors so I had spent parts of my summer days teaching him what there was to do in this town and showing him around.

It wasn't that I didn't like doing it- the total opposite actually. We had grown closer to be best friends and almost inseparable, he knew all my secrets, I knew all his- well- I believed. But still I couldn't help to wish that he would feel a bit more for me- than just a friend- just like I couldn't help to feel for him.

I sighed and gathered my books and things to leave the classroom when another ring from the bell echoed through the hallways and classrooms of McKinley. In the middle of the crowd where some of the boys are pushing and pulling in others' clothes to get out of the classroom, one of them getting pushed stumbles towards me and after stumbling out of the crowd without having a desk, a chair or a person close enough to grab onto I'm a hundred percent sure I was going to fall and closed my eyes and just waited for the bang.

But it never came

Right when I wondered when the bang's coming I felt two strong arms catch me and when I look up I see a pair of two grey, distressed eyes that belonged to Mr. Jacobson. "I'm sorry" I- as quickly as I can pull myself up on my feet and gather my things again, without meeting Mr. Jacobson's eyes again I hurry out of the room- a good bit after the crowd that was leaving just a second ago.

"Ugh" When I opened my locker again I almost hung into it with my whole head in the locker- to hid my grimacing from the others. "I hate today." I said- more to myself than to anyone else- and said it several times again without expecting an answer. "I hate today, I hate today, I hate today, I hate today, I hate today!" I didn't care about how many people were sending me confused glares as if I had gone completely mad and crazy and actually belonged in an asylum.

"Hey." I felt someone clapping my shoulder and pulled my head out of my locker to turn it and see Seth standing there. "What's going on Bella?" I sighed and threw the things into my locker before checking the wound on my hand to save some time. The cut wasn't big- but deep and the area around it had swollen and was shifting in dark blue and purple. "You should probably go to the nurse with that, it might need stitches or taping." I glared back at him- but was kind of relieved he was talking about something else than why I had been late this morning- not quite as relieved when he started pulling me towards the nurse's office.

"So why were you late?" Of course Seth went back to that when we walked out of the nurse's room with the wound taped up and some weird bandage- glove to keep it dry and to keep the tape in its place. And so of course the question I had hoped Seth would have forgotten by now popped up again.

Well… Seth already knew about my dad so I guess it wouldn't do no harm to tell him anyway.

"Well… dad had run out of beer- and he wanted me to go to the store and get some- even though I had already over- slept. And I did… and then they didn't have the kind of beer my dad likes so I just got something- dad was angry- and even though I was already late for school he talked me into going to another store- almost an hour's walking from where I live and get what he wanted." Seth frowned and I could see him glance at the bruises on my neck. "Don't worry Seth, he didn't touch me- he'd never do that- but the road was wet some car sprayed water all over me and there was some stone that flew with the water and hit my neck."

Seth didn't look like he was satisfied with my answer- I hoped that he would be eventually because it was the whole truth. "And then when I came home I was soaking wet from head to toe and angry and cold so I had to shower to get warm and get some new clothes and then I could finally go to school." Seth bit his lip and I glanced over the bulletin board to try and find a possible change of subject.

But as I turned back to Seth he stood with his mouth open and a dreamy look in his eyes that were wide open and staring right in front of him. "Who is that?" He said with a dreamy and slow tone in his voice. I turned my head and looked to where he was looking to see a tall, skinny girl dressed in blue and grey clothes that stood by her locker and tried to make herself invisible to the gang of bullies passing by before she closed her locker and then rushed down the hall towards the cafeteria.

I felt a gust of anger- and even though I didn't want to admit it- hatred towards the girl I didn't know the name of- it didn't take much thinking to understand that Seth was head over heels falling for this- so far nameless girl- after all these days I had spent doing my best to be nice to Seth- dressed up and everything and just doing my best not to show the new anger that was boiling up inside of me.

I saw the girl standing by the bulletin board and the paper about the glee club I had spotted earlier, she took the pencil in her hand and since I didn't notice her letting go of it again I turned to Seth and fizzled. "Maybe you should join the glee club with her to get to know her." Without waiting for an answer I grabbed my bag from my locker and walked out of the school building to get to the gym where we had PE.

Everything had gone so bad today everything that was left now was the sky coming down on me.

Just as I had thought that a lightning broke the heaven in two pieces for a split second before a loud thunder was heard and suddenly it was raining- and it went from all dry to raining as if the skies were coming down in one second- but I didn't move- I just stood there and felt my hair getting so wet it seemed like a black hood lying glued with water towards my brown skin.

"You have got to be kidding me." I mumbled.

I hadn't the time to get to the cafeteria and eat lunch but I didn't feel like eating now, and the sentence that my lips created with the words rising from my throat couldn't have been more correct.

"I hate today"

**Seth POV**

When I and Belle left the nurse's office I more or less pulled out of her what had happened this morning and how she had gotten that bruise on her neck- she gave me a fully believable explanation… hold on… was that a word? Well… I just didn't really know if I'd believe it. I had met Mr. Jolie Sr. a couple of times- he was…. Not polite, not nice, not in control of showing his feelings- or anything else.

And even though Bella kept on telling me he would never physically hurt her- and I did want to believe her so badly.

I just didn't know if I could.

When she gave me the last explanation I didn't really know what to answer so I looked around trying to find one.

And that was when I saw her!

By the bulletin board and with the pencil to sign up for something in her hand stood a tall, skinny girl with blonde, long hair- and boy was she beautiful? Just looking at her made my heart beat in my chest as if it was going to hop out. "Who is that?" I barely knew I was saying it myself- but I needed to know. And I wasn't really aware of anything than the pretty girl by the board and my question until Belle's voice brought me back to reality.

"Maybe you should join the glee club with her to get to know her." Belle fizzled and turned around before she pulled her bag out of her locker and then turned around to rush to the door before she went out of my sight before I had had the time to answer her or even react or understand to what she had said- and boy- even after several seconds I couldn't understand what she seemed so angry about, at last I shrugged.

"Girls!" I sighed and turned towards the girl still standing by the bulletin board and run a hand through my hair with my heart pounding in my chest for more than one reason. "Hej" I walked over to the- very pretty girl standing by the board and introduce myself- without realizing my mistake. "Jag heter Seth…" I held out my hand to shake hers but she only stares up at me as if I would have gone mad- and I didn't realize until then that I had introduced myself right and everything- only in Swedish.

Crap!

"J- jag.." I stuttered, felt my face go red as a tomato in embarrassment. "Ja- jag jag menar." Well… I wasn't making anything better was I? The girl had let go of the pencil hanging on the board without having signed up, turned around and walked away. "Ugh" I hit my head just as a roll of thunder echoed through McKinley high school.

I looked up at the names on the list of people that had signed up to audition for the new glee club, there were three names- no wait! Four- two of them had signed up together- they had to be siblings or something because they had the same last name. I sighed- I liked singing- I liked playing the guitar and playing the piano- I liked dancing too- only during some circumstances I wasn't too fit to dance.

"Oh damn it" I fizzled when I felt my foot scratch. Well… what was it that Christian's said… what would Jesus do? Well… what would Seth Love Anderson- Philips do in a situation where his foot was scratching? What would Seth Love Anderson- Philips do? Scratch it? Well… if there only hadn't been for one tiny little problem!

There wasn't really a foot there to scratch!

I turned around from the bulletin board and walked into the boys' bathroom, locked myself in a stall and then pulled up my leg to make sure no one would be able to bend down and see under the stalls when I pulled the slack of my sweatpants up- over the prosthetic leg that well- reached up to my thigh. I pulled of the straps holding the prosthetic to well… what was left of my real leg and then scratched under it- it helped a little.

"Stupid thing." I whispered to myself pulling it on again and then walked out of the stall with the slack pulled down again, with that, my sock and the shoe no one would be able to see the prosthetic- which was a big part of why me and my adoptive family had moved to Lima from Maine in June- right after I had ended my Freshman year in high school- a year full of- for me- bullying, stomachaches, headaches, nervousity and nausea because I was so nervous about going to school where I knew I would hear one insult after the other, and sometimes physically hurt because of some of the bullies.

Actually it hadn't only been that from after the plane crash that had eventually left me with- as some people said it- "A leg and a half"- I had always been more or less bullied- because I was adopted- for the way I mixed up my mother language with English when I was nervous even though I'd moved to America at such a young age, for being Swedish, for not being into sports, for being a musician etc. etc. etc. It was only that after I turned up in the middle of middle high with two crutches and slow walking because of a prosthetic leg- everything got so much worse.

In fact- now when I always wore slacks the only thing that could tell someone I didn't know to know about the prosthetic leg- was a very, very slight limp. As good as nobody would notice it and when and if someone did and asked- I'd just say that one of my legs was slightly shorter than the other- it was a believable reason and it didn't lead to any further questions so it was for the best.

Thoughts about the life I had had in Aroostook County I sighed and shook my head so I felt my straight, brown hair fly in every direction despite all my earlier attempts to have it lay in the exact right way. I sighed and saw a few tresses of my brown hair falling into my eyes, and then stood up while glancing towards my watch, it was still twenty minutes until my Geography lesson started so I still had a good while to get into the cafeteria, buy something and eat.

But where was Belle?

Another thunder- further away this time was heard and I walked away to the door- with big windows in them- and saw Belle standing out in the middle of the yard and the middle of the pouring rain. She was standing with her back against me, but she was easy to recognize as I pushed the door open and pulled off my hoodie.

"Bella what are you doing?" I hung it over her shoulders and try to lead her inside. "Come on- you're going to catch a cold if you don't get inside and get something new on." Belle had a sad look on her face that weren't actually helped by the fact that she also looked as if her thoughts were somewhere far away- with her hair lying flat towards her head and down towards her shoulders and back.

"Go away" She said- just barely as loud as I could hear it. "Just go and follow that girl wherever- I don't care." I scratched my neck, I didn't have any idea about what she was talking about- well I did- I just didn't really understand the meaning of it. "Here." She pulled my hoodie off and then walked away over the school yard.

I pulled a hand through my hair and bit my lip. Damn it! Why couldn't I just see what I had done wrong? Well… whatever it was… thinking was usually easier without rain pouring over your head already soaking through your clothes-and on top of it all easier without my stomach grumbling with hunger.

"Girls!" I sighed again and turned towards the school building and while I hurried through the rain to get inside. Just as I came inside I felt with my palm over my hair- well at least my hair had finally ended in the position I wanted- even though it would stand in all kinds of directions as soon as it dried.

During the time I sat in a corner of the cafeteria- I had chosen a place not too far from the blonde girl I… well… was falling for…

Falling for!?

My god!

I tried to push the thought that Belle might be falling for me away- to me she had been like… like a sister since we moved here- she was my best friend but to me it was now obvious that she wanted to be something else- something I couldn't be to her.

The thoughts were spinning in my head as I tried once again to push the thought about Belle falling in love with me- but the more I thought about it the more believable it seemed to be and I automatically ate my lunch before- just as automatically getting out of the cafeteria and through hallways and geography, fighting to seem like I always did but with thoughts spinning in my head in that way that make them seem too fast to catch.

At last there were only one possible option for me. I didn't really want Bella to feel like she did for me- it would only hurt her when she would have to face that I didn't feel the same- but I didn't want to lose her as a friend- and whatsoever I decided to just act like I hadn't found out what she felt and just treat her like I had always done.

"Hey!" A bit nervous but trying to sound secure and act like nothing had happened I caught up with her between fourth and fifth class of the day. "I didn't sign up for glee club… yet…" I was going to say more when Belle interrupted, after glaring up at me- oh if glares could have killed!

"Why didn't you? Wasn't it worth doing to come closer to the love of your life?" It wasn't really like Belle to use this tone- against anyone, and I bit my lip thinking about what to say. "Can you just leave me alone okay?" She started turning around but I grabbed her shoulder and pulled her so she stood turned to me again.

"Because you didn't- Belle- I love singing, I love playing guitar and piano- you like dancing and singing- you are so far the only one I know well here in Lima- glee club would be a perfect way for me to make new friends- but Bella I'm not doing it without you! You're my best friend and I'm not going to let you waste the chance of doing what you love for me to do what I love." I silent- well- no one could at least blame me for plan about what I was saying too much.

Belle bit her lip and looked away and then looked up at me. "On one condition!" I nodded and raised an eyebrow at her. "Or two actually, one- You let me help you do what else you love and two-don't you dare give up when things gets hard cause you have a way with giving in too easily." I couldn't help but let hear a short chuckle at what she stated- she was right though.

"Deal!" I held out my hand and then laid my arm around her shoulders and walked over to the bulletin board, then signed up my name right below Jasper and Evie Birch's and then handed the pencil to Belle so she could sign up right below my name. "Well… the director" I read through the paper. "His last name is Anderson… I wonder if he's Swedish!" I smirked back at Belle.

"He doesn't have to be Swedish- it can be an American name too you know!" I nodded, I knew- of course I knew- but it was only that in Sweden- even though it was pronounced differently- Anderson was one of the most common surnames. "Come on then lovey." I moaned at the nickname- it came from my middle name- which had been my first name before I moved to America where it meant something else.

"It's Love" I shouted after her when she backed through the hallway still looking at me. "L-oo- V- eh. And you better learn it before tomorrow 'cause if you don't I'm not promising I'll stay in that club no matter how much you want me to." I turned around to head for my locker, and glanced at the blonde, pretty girl, now standing by the bulletin board yet again

With the pencil in her hand

**Charlotte POV **

Walking through the hallway I stopped by the bulletin board and used a pencil hanging by a paper for signing up for some new club and reached it to the paper for signing up for booking one of the dancing halls for about an hour, or at least a part of it… at least checking so I could be there for a while later today.

I signed up to be in the hall at four in the afternoon- right after history- class- my last class of today would have ended- and right so I would be done for today when Liam's- my step- brother's try- out for the McKinley high school basketball team was over- and we could walk together home. I was not walking on my own- last year- before I was in high school and before Liam's mum Kirsten had married to my dad and Kirsten and Liam had moved in with me, my dad and my older sister.

Well… there had been a few problems- amongst others my sister Frances and her best friend Lucy Everlark had thought it was hilarious to push their way past me and push me into mud puddles whenever there were any- and some of the bullies from here would come from McKinley to the middle school I was in then and then follow me all the way home, throwing their insults everything they wanted, all until I would break down and run the rest of the way home crying.

But it had changed this year- even though it had only been a week of the term I had noticed that whenever I was with Liam no one would throw their insults or their blows or whatever they wanted- and if they did- actually they had done but Liam had made very clear to them that it would only take for him to snap his fingers and he would make the whole school turn against them- and then it stopped.

It still happened when he wasn't around though- but I guess I'd just have to live with it.

I shook my head and returned from my thoughts to let go of the pencil after signing up to dance, but just as I turned around to leave the paper that the pencil was hanging with caught my eye "Glee club" I stopped and read what it said. "Auditions Tuesday September the twelfth. Director Blaine Anderson" I bit my lip hesitating.

I really loved singing and dancing, and a thought that maybe joining the glee club would help me making friends- maybe even find something that could be something more than a friend- find someone why would be worthy my first kiss… I pushed the thought aside- that wasn't like me. I turned to the paper again and was just signing up when a boy with brown hair, green eyes and pale skin came up.

He said something- and he seemed to be talking to me- only it was in some language I couldn't understand. He silent and then he suddenly went red in the face, and started stuttering something- also this something I couldn't understand- I couldn't even recognize what language it was. I bit my lip- people I didn't know coming up to talk to me always made me feel nervous, but as the boy just stuttered something I didn't know what else to do but then to turn around and walk away.

I hurried away from the boy and walked into the cafeteria where I got food, paid for it and then walked over to a table in the corner where I sat down and glanced to a table not far from mine where Liam sat and talked and laughed with his friends. I glanced down at my pasta, grabbed my fork and then looked up and glanced back at Liam- who hadn't seemed to notice me at all.

I looked down at my pasta again- It had been a while since I had more or less stopped eating and danced and jogged several hours a day to lose weight. The training hadn't been too hard to pull down on- I hated jogging and even though I loved dancing I didn't love the way I had pushed myself to dance more and more and do harder and harder steps until I would end up falling and hurting myself- even pull down on the time I was dancing to do other things that papers and pages on the Internet told to be effective to lose weight.

That was the easy part- dealing with the food had been a hundred times harder than that. And still only looking at the huge plate with pasta and cheese made me want to throw up- I looked back at Liam- he was telling some joke to his friend and they laughed so the laughs echoed through the cafeteria while I felt tears burn behind my eyes.

Liam had helped me eat a lot, he'd sit by and say and do what it took for me to eat- no matter how long it took. Jump and make some cheerleading- number if he had to, but mostly just sat there with a hand on my shoulder or back as long as he wasn't eating himself and said what needed to be said to have me eating at least as much as I needed.

I let go of the fork, looked down and wiped the tears from my eyes. I felt so silly crying about something as silly that I simply couldn't eat- but I just couldn't and I couldn't fight them back. "Hey" The next time I looked up was when I heard Liam's voice and him coming to sit down by me. "Are you alright Lottie?" I nodded without looking up- well- I could always try and fool him!

"I just can't…" I almost whispered, Liam placed his tray on the table and reached for an apple on his which he reached to me at the same time that he pulled out a tissue from his bag and reached it to me- well- I guess spending so much time with me had taught him that it would be the best to keep them close- I was always such a wimp crying over nothing and everything.

"Can you eat… this apple, and then a third of that pasta- and we'll start with that okay?" I nodded- at least an apple was better than fatty pasta and cheese, and I carefully took the apple from Liam's hand and took a bite. At the start Liam continued eating his own food, but he finished and then just sat there and held a hand towards my shoulder while I slowly took bites from the pasta with what was left of the apple I had eaten up lying on the table by my tray.

"Okay." I said after eating a third of the pasta. "I think… maybe I should eat more!" Liam nodded slowly. "But I don't… I don't know…" Liam took my chin in his hand and looked straight into my eyes.

"Yes- you should eat more- and yes- you could eat more- come on Lottie- you're stronger than those demons." I nodded and grabbed the fork again, and continued taking one bite after another until I had eaten almost half of what was left. "Finished?" I nodded, Liam clapped my shoulder while I gathered everything to walk out of the cafeteria. "You did great today"

"I need to get to my lesson now, I have Mr. Jacobson- you know what he's like…" I said later. "But… but I was thinking about joining the glee club that someone is putting up." Liam was always great with advice. "So… do you think I should sign up? I almost did it but then… I didn't really know… I mean I just…"

"Stop stuttering and let me answer for Christ's sake!" Liam exclaimed. "You should. You love singing and dancing and… glee club would be perfect for you. Maybe the glee club could help you with your confidence and help you making friends and everything too." Liam ruffled in my hair. "So you should go for it. You should go now- I know Mr. Jacobson." Liam clapped my shoulder and then disappeared down the hallway and around a corner.

I didn't have any time before fourth class, but after that, for the fifth class I would be in the classroom just by the board so when I could see the teacher coming down the hallway I grabbed the pencil, come on- the worst that could happen was that I didn't make it in- and even though I had been told that I was a good singer and dancer I wasn't sure I believed them- I would hate myself for not taking a shot on this.

So I grabbed the pencil but right as I put it towards the paper I hesitated- I wasn't a person that liked the spotlight-in fact I didn't like it at all so as soon as I thought about that with this I would make a commitment for somewhere I would have to be in the spotlight. "COME ON LOTTIE" I heard Liam shout and looked up to see him passing by in a crowd of people. "YOU CAN DO IT" I smiled at my step- brother's kind words and then turned back towards the paper.

And before I had the time to change my mind

I signed up

After all

The worst that could happen would be that I didn't make it in

Right?

**Dakota POV **

I jumped, kicked, danced, threw my arms out and then pulled them arms in again while I danced around in front of Coach Matthews's table in the gym at school, trying out for the cheerleading squad. Ending up with a split and then when the music ended I slowly made my way up on my feet and glanced to the lock at the wall to see how long it was before the sixth and last class of the day started.

"That was really good Mr. Lopez" Coach Matthews said. "I won't say anything yet- but the list of the people making it in will be on the board tomorrow morning." I gave Coach Matthews a nod and then walked to get my bag and head for the locker room. "However- if you're going to be a cheerleader you're going to need another pair of sneakers."

I lowered my head and looked down at my old, ragged sneakers. "Don't worry sir." I stated and lifted my feet to see the sole more or less hanging from the rest of the shoe in a few threads. "I just wanted to give these a nice goodbye." I grabbed my Louis Vitton bag and threw it over my shoulder before jogging towards the locker room.

In the excitement of knowing- or at least thinking that I made my audition pretty good I pushed the door to the locker room open a bit heard, I felt the door hit something- or rather someone- and heard- whoever it was I heard him fall and then moan before I held the door fully opened and could see him.

I recognized the boy as a Junior- but I didn't know his name and had never spoken to him- only seen him a few times the last week of my first week in my freshman year at McKinley and secretly checked him out in the hallway- he was a football player- and he had been hit and pushed over by me pushing the door open and now sat on the floor with his hand under his bleeding nose.

"Oh I am so, so sorry." I reached for a holder with tissues and pulled out a couple of them to reach to the boy who gratefully took them and held one to his nose. "I really, I'm so sorry." I started stuttering some pathetic excuse- oh God! Dakota!

Where on earth was Rocky when I needed him?

I guess I could say that Rocky was kind of my alter- ego- he was the one that I was out around people- he was strong, he didn't give anything about what other people say or did, he didn't care whether what he said was right or not or nice or mean, he just did- and he just said. It wasn't that I had some personality disorder or was schizophrenic or anything- but out among others- I put on a cover- a cover that was so far from the real me I had given that part of me another name- Rocky!

It was just that in some situations- especially if it happened something without me putting Rocky in the front- that I just had some trouble with switching to Rocky if it maybe was for the best- in this situation Rocky would have just shrugged it off and walked away but I couldn't help but to stutter my pathetic excuses and worry that I had seriously hurt this guy- maybe broken his nose.

"HEY" The boy shouted at last and held up a hand to silent me while he used the other to push himself up onto his feet again. "It's alright- don't worry buddy it's already stopped bleeding and it could have happened to anyone. Chill out okay?" I nodded slightly when he threw the tissues in the bin and then washed his hands. "Well" He held out his hand. "I'm Benjamin by the way." I shook it.

"Dakota Lopez" I moved my hand to hold it at the shoulder strap of my bag- trying to avoid to stare Benjamin in the eyes- his eyes- they were just so… so blue! And so… so… beautiful! God! Stop it Dakota you're not falling in love now! This guy is probably straight anyway.

"Well… I suppose I'll see you around. Nice to meet you Dakota Lopez." Benjamin passed me and walked out of the room but I didn't move- I felt my heart beating and I couldn't move an inch for several minutes- before I shook my head, turned towards the locker room and slowly walked inside- but almost forgotten what it was that I was doing.

While I was standing with my hair dripping water over all of my things and a towel around my waist my phone suddenly rang- and only on the ringing tone I knew it was my cousin Santana- well- she always called with a good timing didn't she. "Dakota" I pressed answer and tried to pull on a shirt while talking on the phone.

"Hey Koty"

"Hey Santana. What's up?"

"I was just wondering how your audition went? You told me you were having it today! Koty? Kota? Daaaakota?" I woke up from thinking about Benjamin when she called my name several times in a row. "Dakota are you still there? I can hear you're there- are you alright?"

"Yeah," I shook my head to return to reality. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I think the audition went well actually but I suppose I won't really know until tomorrow though." I sat down and tried to pull on my pants still while talking to Santana. "Listen San… can I call you back I'm kind of in a rush right now I soon have a lesson and…"

"Yeah, no, I just wanted to say one more thing. Dakota- one of my friends from that glee club I was in- he's setting up a new glee club this year- I know you love singing and dancing Kota- how could I not? I really think you should join it!" I stopped in the middle of a movement with pulling a shoe on. Glee club? Me? Come on- Glee club was for nerds and outcasts wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

"I don't know San."

"Kota I mean it- you really should. I know how the glee club can help you- I know it can help you dare to be who you really are if you want to- it helped me when I was at McKinley remember…. Come on Dakota- give it a shot! Give it a month and then quit if you don't like it." I shook my head even though I knew she couldn't see me.

"Nah San- I'm not so sure."

"Come on… Dakota I know you can do this- and I know you want to- because I know you love singing and dancing even though you never told anyone- come on- give it a month." I sighed. She was right- I did love singing and dancing- even though I couldn't understand how she knew because I hadn't dared to tell anyone yet.

"I don't know what dad would say about that…" I tried.

"Oh come on Kota. Don't give a damn about your dad- I know he wants you to get into economics or whatever but this is your life- and what you want to do- and Kota I know you better than anyone else and I'm telling you that giving it a month or two will help you so much more than you could ever imagine!" I sighed- I didn't really have any arguments left.

"I need to go now. But I'm going to think about it okay?" Before Santana had the time to answer I hung up on her and pushed the phone down in my pocket before I grabbed my bag and walked out in the hallway again and across the school yard to get into the main school building. And one of the first thing I spotted while I walked through another hallway and glancing over the bulletin board was the paper for auditioning for the glee club.

I couldn't help but stop- even though I knew I was late for the lesson I stopped and hesitated- maybe Santana was right- maybe this was what I needed! I thought to the baby- blue notebook that laid hidden between a few books in one of my desk drawers at home. It was in that notebook I wrote my poems and my songlyrics.

Santana had told me about how the glee club she was in had helped her and a few of the people she knew to be true to themselves about who they really were- maybe if I joined this glee club- it would like it had done for some of them in New Directions to reach for my dreams- and help me stand up to my dad and do what I really wanted!

My hand was shaking when I put the pencil to the paper and quickly signed my name before I took a step back and glanced over the list of people that had signed up.

_Lea- Marie Hale  
Bradon Fredericks  
Jasper and Evie Birch  
Seth Anderson- Phillips  
Belle Jolie  
Charlotte Amato  
Dakota Lopez _

I pulled out my phone of my pocket and while walking towards the classroom I text messaged Santana. "I signed up. But if this goes wrong I know who I'm going to blame." Then I put the phone down again and jogged the rest of the way to not get to class any later than what I already was.

And in some way I just felt relieved, as if I knew already made I had made the right choice.

**Hello again! And before anyone wonders… yes, it's possible for people with one amputated limb to still have pain and/ or itching from the amputated limb- it's called phantom pains or something like that- it's because… well I guess I don't need to write it here. **

**Oh and well, I have been doing polyvores for the characters (except for Bradon and Keagan and their audition outfits- they're made by LocaXmusicXjellybeanX. And Dakota and his room- they're made by Babygleefan11) but all of the edits for the story is in a collection on my polyvore- link is on my profile. (Also to you who's interested in seeing the audition outfits. I changed Christie's- yes for a reason, so if you checked it out earlier you might want to check it again) **


	5. Introductions part three

**Hello, my friend LocalXmusicXjellybeanX is making a Tumblr page for this. It's really great so I suggest you check it out, link is on the top of my profile. Oh and speaking about LXMXJBX… she's got this awesome glee- fanfiction that… well… that I think you should all go and read and review- it's called A year later.**

**This chapter holds something about serious matters, and I just wanted to say that whatever I've written about it and no matter how weird it might seem I would never- ever try to in any way dishonor anyone. Neither am I trying to make anyone believe that hurting yourself- or anyone else in that way is the right thing to do, because I don't think hurting is alright- no matter how you do it or to who- so if I make it seem weird or dishonoring or anything then tell me and I will try to do it better. **

**Esme POV **

I walked through the hallway towards my locker, and put my English- class books into my locker and pulled out my French books. My mum was the French teacher and she had told me to take good care of them books- or at least better care than what I did with most of my other school books-and I would do as she was told- therefore my French books laid on the highest shelf and I had to reach up and stand on the tip of my toes to reach it.

Except for my French books not so much more laid on the top shelf in the locker. It was those and a copy of the fault in our stars (I also had a copy in my bag that I always carried around, and one copy at home) and furthest away from the opening, down in a corner laid an army Swiss knife. I also had pencils and erasers there and in searching for a certain pencil I felt my hand clench around the cold metal of the closed knife.

I let go of the knife fast as if I had been holding on a piece of burning coal, there was a sound from metal hitting metal on the shelf and I pulled my hand back. I couldn't- I had come too far- I didn't want to- I didn't feel like…

I watched around me, everyone seemed to mind their own business and I nervously pulled the sleeves of my shirt over my hands, I had already covered the scars on my wrists, but I couldn't help to pull the sleeves further down, being at a crowded place like this always kind of made me feel like everybody saw what I had done.

It was in the beginning of my freshman year- almost exactly one year ago. I had been bullied through all of elementary school and all of junior high, and it just hurt too much. To make the inner pain easier to bear I just made sure it would be easier- maybe with hurting my skin it would take away the thoughts that was breaking my inner down, just maybe…

It had started off as this thing I would do once, maybe once or twice. Just until things got better, but things didn't get better. The bullying continued, I knew I couldn't be good enough for my dad. I knew I was constantly compared to my older twin sister who was a lot tougher in school and no one would say as much as a bad word about in fear of getting in trouble. And that our older sister Keira was better than both me and Katrina and on top of it all our dad always wished he had had a son.

But then I met Alexander Fredericks. Alex was rumored to be a bad boy and a bully. But what could I do? I was only head over heels falling for him and couldn't catch up. Alex made me feel like I meant something, like I was good enough just being me. He made me feel loved!

People had told me that Alex was cheating on me with Katrina, but I didn't want to believe them. Then this summer, just a couple of weeks after the summer holidays started. At a party- I had walked in on seeing him with another girl- and not just any girl. But my best friend Sharon.

I had run out of the room before any of them had noticed me being there, run straight out of the house and out on the street. Kicked my high heels off in some bush and never seen them again as I ran straight home, and since then I hadn't spoken to either off them more than enough to break up with the both of them and let them know that I had seen them.

It had been almost two months since then, one and a half more likely. I and Sharon were neighbors, we had always been talking, playing every day when she first moved here, then just talking, about boys, about school, about everything and just hanging around as we got older- we just hang out- every single day!

Now we hadn't spoken for a month and a half.

I kind of wanted to forgive her

I just didn't know if I could

That night I had cut worse than every

Dad had come into the bathroom, found me and got me to a hospital. I didn't want to be in a hospital for months and months, but we had compromised and at last it had been decided that I would never be home alone, that I would tell someone- anyone whether it was him or mum- if I wanted to cut or anything again- and they had sent me to a shrink.

I put my French books in my bag and slowly reached my hand up again and grabbed the knife. My hand was shaking but I didn't move it from over the top shelf, maybe to move on I would at least be able to hold onto the knife- or any other knife without feeling the urge to cut or freak out. One second, two, three.

After ten seconds I couldn't do it anymore. I dropped the knife with another bang, once again there was a bang when metal hit metal. I threw the locker closed and ran up the stairs towards my French classroom. I knew my mum used to sit in the classroom for a while before her lessons started and so she would do today, the run to her classroom felt miles long before I ripped the door open and finally could see my mum sitting by the teacher's desk and she looked up when I came into the room.

"Mum." I whimpered, mum sprang into action and pushed her chair backwards so she could stand up and then hurried over to me. "Mum" My body was trembling and I could not really control I anymore and all I could do was just let mum lead me over to the desk where she gently pressed me down to sit on the desk and then sat by me holding me close to her shoulder and stroke my cheek.

"Sch, sch, sch. It's okay honey."

"It's still in my locker mum." I exclaimed as soon as I could catch my breath much enough for talking again. "Th- that knife and I… I was looking for something and- and I grabbed it and then- then I held it- and I just held it- to see if I could and… and I just don't know." I shut my eyes closed and tried to pull myself together. "I didn't do anything- I didn't even feel the urge to I just.. I leaned forward and rested my head in my hand. "I don't even know."

"Did you count how long you held onto it?" I nodded, and told her ten seconds. "See? That's good. It's the first time you have found it since the last time right?" I nodded. "So… ten seconds and not an urge to have to do it is great… even though… this happened. Maybe then next time, you'll do five if that is how long you can do without it feeling hard, then ten, then twenty and so on. Honey- this isn't going to be easy but you have come such a long way and you can come all the way."

I nodded, then the door opened and I quickly straightened up and with my back against the door I dried the tears with my sleeve and then turned around- of course I had forgotten the pen and eraser so I had to go downstairs to my locker and get it. Inside had come a boy named Hayley Graham. He peered to me with his hazel eyes that made me feel all weak in the knees- no- no, no. I was not falling in love again- and before I had the time to think more about him like that I rushed out of the room and down the stairs.

When I walked past I glanced over the board to see if there was anything that could lead my thoughts away from my knife, freaking out and Hayley Graham- earlier today I had heard rumors about that someone was putting up a new glee club. I wasn't sure about what I should think- after what had happened to the last one they should be absolutely crazy for putting a new one up.

But I found something at the board, a paper about auditions for a new glee club. I hesitated while I went to get my pencil and eraser. Maybe- after all- I had heard about a girl who made it all the way to Broadway after the glee club here at McKinley- Broadway was my dream and maybe… maybe it would be a good match with my drama club that I had both.

And I loved singing and dancing… but with joining the glee club I could just as well start the bullying all over again… God why did everything have to be so hard all the time? At last I decided to go for my own dreams- I dreamt about singing and dancing- and that weighed more than the thought about bullying- after all- I could probably take it this time- I was more secure wasn't I?

Wasn't I?

I walked up the stairs again and to the classroom. Well in the classroom I sat down in front of Hayley and forced myself not to look at him. I couldn't be falling in love again, I wasn't ready so I wasn't.

I wasn't!

His nerdy glasses and curly brown hair were just so adorable.

**Keagan POV **

I sighed sitting at the last lesson of the day, the clock seemed to go in the speed of a slug and the lesson just never seemed to end- twenty minutes left… I riffled through my Spanish- questions and fixed what needed to be fixed- again! Fifteen minutes left…. Ten… Five, four three, two, one...

RIIIIIIIIIIIING

I was the first one to have gathered all of my things, handed the paper in and was out of the classroom. I hurried down the stairs and out in the hallway and had just started hurry towards him- I was just stupid enough not to keep an eye on what was happening and before I knew it and had the time to react I was on my knees on the floor after getting shoved into a locker and gasping for air after the hit in my chest of an open locker.

"Get away wannabe- boy! We don't want you here" I heard some bully, but didn't had the time to check who it was before he was gone and I had to concentrate on breathing to get a hang of it once again- I always heard that breathing was a quite important function of the body!

"Are you okay?" Bradon kneeled by me and laid his hand on my shoulder just as I started getting myself up on my feet and gathered the things I had dropped before I made my way back towards my locker, reassuring Bradon about the fact that I really was fine and no damage had been done now that I had gotten my breathing back again.

I put my things in my locker and walked halfway to the parking lot when I realized I had forgot something in my locker. "You just keep on walking Bradon." I told him. "I'll catch up with you later." I jogged back to my locker and got my Spanish books while I glanced over the bulletin board nearby and remembered the flyer about the new glee club we had seen earlier.

Out of no more than curiosity I eyed through the list of people signing up- and spotted Bradon's name on it- wow- did he really think he would be able to sign up for something like that and not tell me and just assume that I wasn't going to find out? Well- it only a took me a few seconds to figure something out that made a smirk form on my lips as I came up with a plan…

I grabbed a pencil from my bag and signed up my name, I had several different things that talked for me to sign up. One- I loved singing. Two- I loved dancing. Three- While singing and dancing it would be the only place where I could be… me! Not a girl- not a boy- just me, myself and I. Four- it would look good in my application for USC-SCA next year.

And five and the most important- well- one of the most important-

If I didn't tell Bradon that I had signed up- I would barely be able to wait to see the look on his face when he realized I would audition too by the auditions tomorrow. I signed up quickly and then stuffed my books in my bag and threw it back over my shoulders while I jogged down the hallway and to the parking lot where Bradon stood waiting holding onto the steering of my bike.

"Thanks" I took the bike myself and we walked together up the road towards Bradon's house and well- my stables while talking about anything and everything. "Well goodbye then. See you tomorrow." I raised my hand in a wave before I walked up the hill to the stables and left my Bike before I headed to switch my clothes and leave my bag and then walked out in the paddock and spotted my old lady in the other end of the big meadow.

"Alma" I shouted softly and jumped up on the wooden fence while whistling on just the way you are by Bruno Mars. Hearing the tones Alma raised her head from eating and then came trotting over the meadow towards where I sat. "Hello girl." I scratched her on her favorite spot on her forehead while she pushed my pockets with her muffle slightly, probably hoping for an apple- or eight!

"So how is my old lady today huh?" I asked in a soft voice as if Alma could understand English- my North Swedish Horse might have been nineteen years old- but she was still alert and her brown eyes glittered of mischief under the black fringe. "Are you good today? Oh I bet you are!" I jumped down from the fence and then walked over where it could be opened- I didn't need a web lead with Alma- everything I had to do was to walk and she'd follow me with her head hanging over from the back of my shoulder.

"Hi" I greeted Tanisha- a six year old girl that was the daughter to them who owned the stables- and was really fascinated by the fact that I didn't need a web lead with Alma. "Hey Aisha… come here." The black little girl came over and I showed her how she would let Alma keep her muffle towards her collar bone and then walk to make Alma follow her. And I couldn't be mistaken on the huge smile on Tanisha's face while she walked up the hill towards the stables- or the giggles when Alma lifted her muffle towards Tanisha's cheek and blew hot air towards the little girl.

"Alma stop it." Tanisha gently pushed Alma's head away. "It tickles." I couldn't help but smile and then grabbed Alma's mane and walked into the stables where I pulled her halter on and quickly brushed her before I put on a bridle and then walked out in the inside riding hall.

"We take it bareback today okay?" I grabbed the rein with one hand and Alma's mane with the other before I half pulled myself and half jumped up on her warm back. "So now mischief okay?" Well… who was I even trying to fool?"

We had barely gotten one lap around before Alma started taking over, throwing her head to rip the reins out of my hands and started stepping around to have me almost slid to the side and fall off. "Oh no you don't miss." I pulled myself up before I fell off and took a stern grip in the reins to show I was in charge- it was weird how she seemed to forget in between every time I came to the stables who was in charge when I was riding.

I heard the door to the riding hall open and close and stupidly enough turned around to see who it was- and when Alma realized I wasn't concentrating on her anymore she span around and I hadn't had the time to react before I landed in the sand down below. I heard someone shout my name in worry and then running steps- but by the time my dad had reached me I was already on my feet and brushing the sand of my fleece shirt.

"Are you okay?" Dad caught up and put his hand on my shoulder, brushing some sand off in the movement, I nodded. And then bent down and cupped his hands together so I could step in it, get up and swing my other leg over Alma's back. "Well… I was driving by and asking if you wanted a ride home but- well- I suppose there is some work around here that I could be occupied with… you don't want to ride your bike three K through this rain!"

"You know you don't have to do that dad." I stated and took the rein in a stern grip again. "I can get home by myself." Dad smiled and shook his head, then he stated that it wasn't anything- he wanted to and he'd just go ask Mr. Morgan- the owner of the stables if there was something that needed to be done.

When I and my dad moved here with Alma- when I was ten- we hadn't had much money- we didn't know anyone- dad's company wasn't going well and we didn't hear anything from my mum except for a check with child support that came every month or two- a while it almost looked like we would have to save my dear Alma- but then we found the stables at the Morgan's- and when dad had had a talk with Mr. Morgan and they had made a deal that if both I and my dad helped out at the stables when we could- dad helped with the accounting and I with the work around the stables and riding lessons for children- then we could have Alma here for free.

When I was leading Alma into her stall a bit later and was just about to leave with my dad when I saw Tanisha standing there with a distressed look on her face and looking at me. "Keagan" she stated. "How come it's always your dad coming to get you- I've never met your mum!" I stopped in the middle of a movement while closing the door to the stall, stopped for a couple of seconds and then closed the door while I signed to my dad that it would be a little while.

"Come on" I laid my hand on Tanisha's back. "We'll go sit down."

I sat down on a hay ball in a corner between the office and the closest stall and Tanisha looked with a six year old's distressed and intelligent eyes up at me when I tried my best to explain to her why my mum was never here. "You know Tanisha- how your parents had to explain to you how I was a girl but am a boy right?" Tanisha nodded and laid her head to the side, while I just continued explaining.

I had been four years old the first time I "came out" to my parents, and I had been standing in front of them in a pink princess dress and my long hair put in some girly braid- and told them- right out "mummy, daddy, I am a boy" in that straight forward way that small kids can speak about even such things just when they realize some things. Because to me it was clear- I was a boy! It had been clear then, and it was clear now!

Mum had only thought it was weird, laughed about it- and no matter how many times I told her I was a boy she laughed and told me that that was wrong- that was even when I cut all my hair off when I was five- or most of it anyway- and threw all my dresses out the house! Dad wasn't much for talking when mum was close, so he just watched me stating I was a boy for years, and then- when I was six they watched something about transgender children on TV.

And so they started putting together one and one and dad started asking questions about who I was and why I always said that I was a boy. When I could put words on my feelings he just smiled and hugged me, he was loving and supporting and would have been there for me even though if I had so said I was a dinosaur- mum was a whole other story.

Because only a few days after mum and dad had watched that and they started realizing who I really was- mum was gone- and except for a letter she had left on the kitchen table and a check with the child support every few months we hadn't heard anything more from her- I knew she had a family though- and I had two half siblings- two girls- that were girls- and just girls- like mum wanted it to be.

"But that's so sad!" Tanisha pouted. "Your mum is stupid! She should just love you for who you really are." I understood that the last Tanisha said was something that she had heard from somewhere else, but I nodded. "Aren't you and your dad always really sad and thinking about her all the time?" I bit my lip and wondered how to lay it out to her.

"You see Aisha… sometimes when you love a person but that person do things that aren't good for you. Then you might have to let her go, because you would be better off without those things you do than you would be good with the few good things she might do. Do you get what I mean?" Tanisha nodded and reached her arms up and laid them around my neck. Dad came through the stables and showed me that we might want to go now. "I need to go now Aisha. Come here." I reached forward and kissed her hair.

"Keagan?" She asked when I was about to walk away. "Was your name as a girl Keagan or was it something else?" A shiver went through my body and I couldn't help but to flinch as I breathed in to save as much time as possible before I'd have to say that terrible name that had once been mine.

"It was Kaetlen" I said at last. "Kaetlen Rosemarie. Bye Tanisha"

"Bye Keagan"

It was pretty quiet in the car when we had driven away from the stables, I could tell from the look on dad's face that he had heard what I had told Keagan. I knew that dad felt bad for what had happened with my mum. That he thought that he could have done something to keep her with us, that he could have made her stay- but I didn't believe so- and the thought of blaming him had never even crossed my mind- it just seemed absurd.

There was nothing more that needed to be spoken between me and my dad about my mum, and I knew it already haunted my dad day as night so I chose to speak about something else. "Oh yeah, there's a new glee club in school, auditions are tomorrow at lunch and I signed up to do that." Dad nodded. "Do you think I made the right choice? Or do you think I already have enough to do without that?" Dad smiled slightly and ruffled my hair.

"I don't believe you made the right choice- I know you made the right choice. I know you Keags. A glee club would be the perfect after school club for you." I smiled. "I'm so proud of you son. When your mother left I wasn't so sure I would do the right choices to take care of you right. But you've grown to be a very good person. And there is nothing that makes me happier than to know you are happy and I know singing and dancing makes you happy. So you just go for it okay?"

Yeah- I would go for it- and I already knew that it would be the right choice I could have made

Because what could be better than somewhere I knew I could just be myself.

**Sharon POV **

The last class of the day always seemed like it didn't want to end. And the last fifteen minutes I looked to the clock on the wall every five minutes- once a minute! I twisted tresses of my short, red hair around my fingers and tapped with my pencil towards my knee not to have to keep still and in a failed attempt to make the time go a tiny little bit faster.

It didn't work, but slowly but steady the clock started drawing closer to the minute the bell would ring at the end of the day. And even though it felt like the time was moving at about the same pace as the world's slowest turtle it finally reached five o'clock and the bell's ringing echoed through the hallways and there was a rush to get out of the classroom.

I walked slowly, mostly to avoid what just happened when I accidentally walked into my earlier best fiend Esme Montague. "Sorry" I mumbled and kept on walking past her. It wasn't that I got shy facing her- or that I was a shy person at all- but nowadays I just never knew what to say when I faced her. I just didn't know what words to put in to explain my drunken mistake at that party.

Before I turned my back at her I could see Esme's cold glare. I couldn't blame her though. She had made very clear to both me and Alex Fredericks that she had seen us kissing- sitting on Alex' bed on the Fredericks- twins' summer party. I couldn't blame her for being mad at me- but I had been drunk- it was a mistake and there wasn't anything I wanted more than to be friends with her again.

"Hey Shar." My mother's voice brought me back to reality, she came walking down the hallway from the nurse's office. My mum was a nurse and would come to McKinley every once in a while to help the nurse out when there were vaccinations that were done or something else that required help- like the meetings with all of the Freshmen like today.

"Hey mum" I replied and hoped that mum wouldn't hear the callous tone in my voice. She did- and of course asked if I was okay but I just waved it off. "I'm fine mum, I'm just a bit tired." I could sense mum wasn't sure and felt her hand on my forehead. "I'm fine. Just tired." I really didn't want to come up with any other excuses- she would get suspicious and I would have to explain the whole truth from beginning to end- and that was something I didn't want to do until I had the answers myself so I just glanced over the bulletin board to try and find something else to talk about.

"Someone's putting up a new glee club!" I stated when I saw the flyer. "Have got to be crazy don't you think?" When the new directions were discharged my mum had worked full time as the school nurse. She had always been supporting them and she told me everything about what happened to them- even though I wasn't in high school yet I just wanted to join them.

"You should join!" Mum said. "Don't you think?" I shrugged and then shook my head- if I was under the circumstances I thought I was- I would have enough to think about without the glee club and being put as an outcast of all of the outcasts…. "Come on now honey. Sharon you love singing and dancing, the glee club would be perfect for you." I shook my head again but was starting to hesitate. "At least give it a try and audition, if you don't like it then you could just as well quit. But honey I saw how much the New directions helped the students to find themselves and if this glee club is anything like that one…" I stopped and turned towards the bulletin board. "At least give it a try."

It wasn't like my mum to nag and insist on me doing something, so I guessed she had her reasons and that was one of the reasons I walked over to the board, even though I still hesitated and glanced through the list and spotted Esme's name- maybe if we both made it through the auditions and into the glee club then it would be our chance to reunite and… maybe with time be friends again.

I still wasn't sure- but mum was right and it was worth a try so I grabbed the pencil hanging on the board and signed my name on the bottom of the list right under Keagan Spencer's. Well this was a group for the outcasts wasn't it? I let go of the pencil and walked with mum down the hallway to my locker. I reached for a paper lying on the top shelf.

But when I pulled the paper down, a box from the store nearby fell down into the big locker. I quickly pushed it back behind some books and turned to mum, but she hadn't seen it. For a moment I had just forgotten all about it. I had been thinking about it almost non- stop for almost two months, what that kiss sitting on Alex's bed had led to. And not what every symptom had led to since then.

I knew I needed to do this at school, if I brought the pregnancy test home my mum would find it and if- against all odds- it shoved that I wasn't pregnant then I didn't really want to tell mum about all of this, at least not yet. But if I brought it home I'd have to. "Mum- go home without me." I said. "I need to speak to Mrs. Montague about something in French class, and I've got homework so I'll do that here in school and then come home." Mum frowned.

"Are you sure, you seem tired. Maybe you should go home and rest" I sighed- sometimes it was almost annoying how much of a nurse mum actually was.

"I'll be home in just a little while." I said and pretended to look for something on the biggest shelf in my locker. "It's only three questions and I'll only need to ask Mrs. Montague a quick question and then I'll be right home." I could see mum was still hesitating, then she smiled, ruffled in my short, red hair and said goodbye before she walked away down the hallway.

I breathed out and then closed my locker and walked in the other direction, for almost half an hour I just walked around the school, up the stairs, down the stairs, through the hallways. I just couldn't keep still. At last, when the hallways were as good as empty, I opened my locker again, pulled out the pregnancy test and put it under my shirt and rushed to the bathroom.

Waiting was the worst part. Sitting on the toilet lid with the used test in my hand waiting the hours- long fifteen minutes it took for the white stick to get ready to show if I was pregnant or not. And boy those were long fifteen minutes! Longest quarter of an hour of my whole life! As usual I couldn't keep still- or in a normal position so I lifted one foot up and held it towards the door of the stall and started twisting tresses of my hair around the tip of my finger and even though I tried to read what had been scrabbled on the inside of the stall's walls- oh I wondered where that phone number went- I ended up checking the damn stick about three times a second.

I mean- the result on this might change the rest of my life!

And so it finally finished

And there was that damn plus sign

I closed my eyes and opened them again as if it would make what confirmed what I had been scared to death of the whole summer go away. But it stayed, no matter how many times, how hard or how long I blinked. Even when my vision started getting blurry from tears I could still see that plus sign that had changed my life in the blink of an eye.

For a moment I barely even knew what I was doing. I stood up, fumbled with the lock and ran out in the hallway. I threw the stick somewhere I thought there was a garbage can but didn't even mind about checking if it actually ended up in the bin. And then ran out on the street, the rain was pouring down and had soaked through my clothes in no time. The bus home came just as I ran up by the stop, but three stops away from my block I couldn't take it anymore and jumped off it and ran the rest of the way home and straight upstairs and into my room where I put music on loud and walked stressfully back and forth.

"This cannot be it." I mumbled to myself. "This cannot be it. This cannot be it!" I stopped abruptly when my mum suddenly stood there and then backed a few steps. Tell her, not tell her, tell her, not tell her, tell her… God I didn't know what to do- but she would find out sooner or later anyway would she?

"What cannot be it?" Mum crossed her arms over her chest in that way she only need when she was dead serious and wanted to truth. "Honey, what is it?" I kept on breathing heavily with tears running down my cheeks, mum lifted her hand and stroke my cheek. And then she asked again in a softer tone. "Honey, what's going on? You know you can tell me anything and I will still love you- even though you've done something bad!" I nodded, well- I might as well have it said.

"I'm pregnant"

**Daniel POV **

So that was it! The first day of my second week of my senior year in high school was almost over. "Well this is great." I mouthed to myself about the rain pouring outside the windows just as the bell rang and echoed through the hallway. Okay, now the first day of my second week of my last year in high school was over! I gathered my books and papers and walked out of the room in the crowd leaving and walked down the stairs.

I whistled while I walked down the hallway towards my locker, and a paper on the bulletin board caught my eye. "Glee club" I glanced over and read it. Well… I stopped for a split second hesitating a bit. Then I only kept on walking- I could sign up tomorrow morning or take contact with the director later- I needed to go home right now- which was why I would also skip practice in basketball today.

Of course- since it had been sunny in the morning I had been taking my bike to school. I sighed as another lightning bolt lit the school yard up and then as it echoed through McKinley. Well- the options were now- either speed with my bike the whole way home for almost one hour, or take the bike with me on the bus- none of them felt good- but I chose the second- with cycling home I could just as well slip and hurt myself- and I probably wouldn't be home until after my parents had left.

My father- Stephen Vincent- worked for apple- he would travel around in America and sometimes also Europe for months at the time doing things I barely knew what. When I was younger mum would go with him every once in a while for a few days at the time and very seldom leave me. And if they did- they usually left me at grandma's.

But time had passed since then, I had turned eighteen the last New year's day, mum went with dad every time he traveled and they were gone for months at the time, grandma lived in an old people's home and the only person she could recognize was her son- my dad. And I was left home alone for all of the months they were gone.

This time was different though. They'd be gone for longer at the time then they had ever been before, leaving today and not coming home until in the middle of December at the earliest. That was one, two, three months compared to the usual two at the most earlier. You might think it would be fun to have the house to myself all the time, parties every night and doing whatever I wanted.

It just felt so lonely- sure it was kind of fun to be able to play music loud however I wanted, watch the shows I wanted to see on TV without anyone coming and wanting to watch anything else or simply walking around in underwear the whole Saturday because I couldn't mind to dress in casual clothes.

And it wasn't like I hated all of it. I loved getting to play music or watch TV- only I could do that with mum and dad home as well. And with a tragedy within my closest family when I was little I had never liked being alone- and it was not like I could walk around in my boxer's all day. Might not be too nice for the neighbors- I'd just have to do with PJ's or a button up- at least.

And I couldn't cook! I couldn't even make oatmeal in the microwave without messing it up so I'd have to do with what they had for frozen meals in the stores or McDonald's. And even though it was okay- I was getting tired of the taste- less finished meals. And being home alone I was usually bored and longing for hugs after a day or two.

I sighed- well the sooner I left the more time I would have with my parents before they left this time so I threw my things into my locker and grabbed my bag. Jumped on my bike outside the school and cycled to the bus stop to get there as fast as possible, the bus pulling up just as I jumped off my bike and walked onto the bus pulling the bike after me just after a short, brown- haired girl I hadn't met before.

"Can I sit here?" I gestured to the seat between the girl and the mid- way in the bus. She turned her head and gestured to me that it meant whatever to her what I did. And I sat down by her and held my bike in the mid- way holding it steady with both of my hands when the bus started moving.

I didn't know what made me do it but I turned my head and looked at the girl next to me, she was very short, and even though she was wearing too big clothes it was clear that she was also very skinny- and I couldn't help but notice dark spots on the back of her hands and under her ear- hold on- dark spots?

No that couldn't be it! She probably just had eczema or something. That was over- this was just some random girl from my school it wasn't her- and it couldn't be that. Not again. "What?" She asked rudely when she obviously thought I had looked at her for too long and I quickly turned around and looked to the floor.

It couldn't be- It couldn't be- it couldn't be it.

But I just had a weird feeling.

And the feeling when I got off the bus at my stop and noticed the girl still on the bus- she was the only one left except for an old woman- and the only stop after mine was at the hospital parking… was it possible? No that couldn't be it!

I jumped on my bike and cycled as fast as I could through our block. Mum and dad were in the garden, carrying their things from the house to the car just as I cycled over the parking, of course hitting a bump in the road, slipping on the wet pedal and flew over the steering part and fell right into the grass. Ouch!

"Dan…. Dan…" Mum ran up and kneeled by me. "Honey are you okay? Danny can you hear me?" I lifted my head and spit out some grass, ignoring the burning pain from twisting my ankle while I coughed from swallowing dust wrong.

"I- I'm fine m- mum." Dad lifted my bike off me and I could push myself up. I carefully stepped on my hurt foot- yep- it was still carrying me so I led the bike over to the wall and then walked inside with my mum fussing around wiping grass and mud from my shirt and hair. "Stop it mum. I already said I'm fine. I'll go change the shirt." Of course- since it had been raining for hours my polo was covered in mud.

I walked up the stair and unbuttoned the polo- crap! Now I'd have to do laundry the first thing I did being alone- and on top of it all find something else for me to wear tomorrow. How great! I pulled on a hoodie since I could just as well wear something casual for the night and then walked down the stairs, hoping that none of them would notice I was limping.

"You're limping!" Was the first thing dad said when I came outside and lifted up one of mum's bags to go put it in the car. "Did you hurt yourself falling with the bike?" I didn't answer him, hoping that he would just leave it be. "Daniel answer me." He would always worry too much after what happened to my sister.

"I twisted my ankle a bit." I said and then brainstormed to change the subject. "Oh yeah, someone is putting up a new glee club at McKinley. I was thinking about joining- what do you think?" I opened the back door in the car and threw in the bag carefully. "I mean- it's still up to me but I wanted to know what you would think."

"Glee club is a song and dance club is it?" Mum asked and I answered her yes. "Well that would be perfect for you Danny- boy…" I sighed at her silly nickname for me. "And maybe it would help you make some new friends so you won't have to be alone as much?" I chuckled.

"I have enough friends as it is mum." I told her- but the fact was I didn't really believe what I said myself- sure- I was what some people would say the star of the basketball team and through that quite popular- only I was careful with who I let come close enough to be my real friends. For two reasons- the first being I didn't want to befriend the wrong people and the second being that the less friends I had- the less friends I had to lose.

I had lost one of the most important people in my life- couldn't have done anything else then sit by and watch her fade away at a very early age- I had heard people talk about that it would leave its mark. That I might get trust issues- in fear of losing someone else as important later in life. And partly I guess- that is just what happened.

I shook the thoughts about Angelica off. I had been suppressing it for eleven years- I could keep on doing so. Just like my dad did with working all the time trying to forget about the pain after her. But in my own way. I hadn't had a job to run away too so I simply just pressed away all the thoughts about what was then- trying to talk myself into that that part of my life was over- and I didn't need that or even her anymore.

I made another attempt to shake the thoughts of Angelica off and grabbed another bag standing on the porch and brought it to the car. "I'll sign up early tomorrow then." I stated. "Well… I might as well give it a try." The positivity was a part of who I was- just like people said I was polite and hard- working I tried to always go with a positive way like I'd rather try and lose than not try at all.

"So well that's it." Dad put his iPad into the drawer on the side of the car door. "Well… son… you know that if something happens you only need to call, or text nine one one and we'll take the first plane home." I nodded, dad patted my shoulder and then hugged me tightly. "And we'll skype a bit and so… so are you sure it's okay we'll be gone for so long. I could try and fix something if it's not."

"I'll be fine dad." I lifted my hand and pushed the fringe out of my eyes. For some reason I kind of wanted to get through this. Saying goodbye to my mum was always the hardest part and now I wrapped her tightly in my arms while she- who was a good bit shorter than me leaned her head against my shoulder.

"Take care of yourself okay?" I nodded. "Well… things are like they always are- we'll put some money into your account every month for food and other things you need for a living. But it won't be much enough to pay for parties every night" I chuckled. "Call us if it is anything, keep contact. Do your best." I nodded. "I've made some food that are in boxes in the freezer- but it will only last for a week or two." Mum smiled softly with tears in her eyes.

"Mum" I laid my hand on her cheek. "Don't cry."

"I know… it's just sad to think about that you've gotten so big- you're an adult." I smiled. "And Daniel- I mean it- call if you need anything and we'll catch the first plane." I nodded. "And Danny- boy." I nodded. "Take care of yourself honey." She reached up and kissed my cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too mum, you too dad." Dad squeezed my shoulder. "Drive carefully okay." I gave a short nod. "God-I think I'd better go inside now." I looked up to the skies- the raining showed no signs of stopping. "See you on skype." Dad smiled. "Bye." I backed a few steps, but stood in the garden and watched them drive up from the driveway and waved at them as dad turned out of the parking and drove away.

I must have been standing there for good half an hour- I just couldn't bear to move. At last I walked inside and grabbed a cap and a raincoat and started walking around the blocks. The hardest days were always the first- and right before they came back- then being home alone just made me feel so lonely I couldn't bear it so I'd spend several hours walk around the blocks. Sometimes even sit in the waiting room in the hospital- it wasn't the best option- but at least it wasn't empty.

And it was always a relief coming into school on the first morning- and I'd leave early to just not be alone anymore- but even though I'd left early- when I came to school on Tuesday morning- I could see a dark- haired, mid- length man standing and taking the flyer about the glee club down and I ran up to him.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey." I ran up and pulled up a pencil out of my pocket. "I want to sign up too." I smiled and eyed through the list while I signed up to see if there were any names I recognized- some of them I knew by name- but not much more.

_Lea- Marie Hale  
Bradon Fredericks  
Jasper and Evie Birch  
Seth Anderson- Phillips  
Belle Jolie  
Charlotte Amato  
Dakota Lopez  
Esme Montague  
Keagan Spencer  
Sharon Fisher  
Daniel Vincent_

"Thank you" I smiled at the young man and nodded to the other young man, and the man and woman- possibly in their late forties or early fifties standing behind him when I backed and then started to turn when I heard him call out for me.

"Hey… ehrm… Daniel?" I spun around and nodded. "I walked by the auditorium and saw someone play the guitar and heard him sing a few days ago- I believe it was you. But I haven't been able to find the song- I remember- I just still can't believe you're gone 'cause I don't want to believe you're gone. But I've forgotten the rest- what song was it?"

I felt all the color disappear from my face and I must have looked almost ill because a worried expression formed on the woman's expression as soon as I did. No- I couldn't let him know- I hadn't told anyone, I couldn't do it now.

"I have no idea what you're talking about"

**And that's the end of the introductions. Next up is auditions. And I just wanted to say- even though I think all of you know this- most of you anyway- but English is not my first language, neither my second. I am doing my best with the language and I hope and believe I'm doing alright at least. But- I might mix up words, express myself weirdly because I can't find the right one or use parable's that are common where I come from but barely existing where you are- so if you find something that seem weird or wrong or whatever- please write it in a review or a PM and I'll either explain it or I will think about it to the next time. Thank you **


	6. Auditions part one

**Hello again, here I am with a brand new chapter for you all. The introductions are over and now it's time for the auditions- and of course- since I am me- that can't be done without loads of drama. **

**I PUT UP A POLL ABOUT WHICH CHARACTERS OF THIS YOU LIKE THE BEST. BUT FANFICTION HAVE BEEN ACTING UP AGAIN SO YOU MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO SEE IT AND VOTE. EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE BACK AND WORKING AGAIN SO I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO VOTE ON YOUR THREE FAVORITE CHARACTERS **

**Blaine POV **

I hummed to myself on reading the rules for the glee- clubs' competition that had been changed slightly since the new directions. It was quite late on Monday evening, Carole and Christie had just come back from the hospital after Christie's dialysis and we were all sitting around the table with them two eating their late dinner.

"Oh…" I came across a new rule. "Here's a new rule. There needs to be four judges on place by the auditions- I guess it is because if there's only one I would be able to accept a really bad singer only because she or he is my friend or something like that… but the auditions are tomorrow." I looked up and brainstormed.

"I'll come with you." Kurt said- so then we were two and I looked to Burt too- he might not be a musician but he could see through people and see the person behind the mask better than I or Kurt would be able to- and that could be good to have. On the other hand he seldom worked Tuesdays- and if he did he usually worked only afternoon- Burt- however- didn't seem to understand why I was looking at him at first, then it seemed to click.

"Why would you want me to come?" He mostly looked confused, I explained to him what I thought. "Well… I suppose you could be right about that… Kurt don't look at me with those eyes you know I couldn't say no to that." Burt sighed and tried to look away and forget about Kurt's best puppy eyes. "Okay, I'll come."

So that made us three.

Challenge talk Carole Hudson- Hummel into joining us too…

…accepted!

Carole looked up from her food when she must have felt we were all looking at her. "What are you doing?" She seemed to think it was quite creepy with how we were trying to stare her out to have her say yes. "Come on guys what is it?" I explained to her what was going on. "I need to work." Not a working argument- her schedule hung as usual on the fridge and we all knew she wasn't scheduled to go in tomorrow.

"Blaine don't look at me like that." This time it was my turn to pull on the puppy eyes. "That is not fair. Gosh- why am I even trying? Okay, okay. I'll come." So that made us four- which was good because I would not have the time to call to yet one of my old friends and another to find someone who could help.

"Okay." I pulled out a paper. "For some reason we all need to sign this then."

The next day I would work on the forenoon. They had all come with me already early in the morning even though I told them they didn't have to come before lunch time for the auditions. I had decided to take the audition list down already first thing in the morning. So that was the first thing I did, but just as I took it down I heard a voice and a tall, brown- haired boy ran up.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey" he ran up- and I almost immediately recognized him as the boy in the auditorium. "I want to sign up too" I reached him the paper and he held his hand under it while he wrote his name, and not until he had signed up, thanked and started walking away I talked to him, and I read the name on the bottom to get his name.

"Hey… ehrm… Daniel." He span around and nodded to show he was listening. "I walked by the auditorium and saw someone play the guitar and heard him sing a few days ago- I believe it was you. But I haven't been able to find the song- I remember- I just still can't believe you're gone 'cause I don't want to believe you're gone. But I've forgotten the rest- what song was it?"

I hoped that he would give me the answer, I had really tried to find the song because I had really liked it. But I couldn't help but doubt it when I saw the tall boy turn pale as a ghost- he definitely knew what I was talking about. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He span around and hurried down the hall before I had the chance to try and ask him again.

"He knows." Burt said, I nodded- I knew that he knew. But I guessed that with him in the glee club I would find a way to have him tell me what song it was. Now I only shook my head and turned up the hall to walk up to the library.

Kurt, Burt and Carole came with me to the library and I would pass them by every once in a while talking about what would happen later while Kurt sat and riffled through magazines about design and clothes obviously thinking about how we would set up the choir room, Carole sat with some books about medicine and talked with Kurt and Burt sat far away in his own world with car magazines.

I couldn't help but start doubting what I had decided to do. Now when it was so close- maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. After what had happened to the New Directions maybe I should just have thought this through…

"Blaine." Mr. Campbell suddenly came up. "Can you come with me here?" Something in the way he was speaking made shivers go through my body as I followed him behind the desk and into a room with old books. Had I done something wrong? "This shelf-" he followed with his hand. "And this, and this. Are filled with books with notes. In here we keep books that are old and ragged, there are pages falling out a bit here and there, some books missing a few- there's not really much we can do with them but- would you like them in the choir room with the glee club?"

"Yes, yes of course. Thank you Mr. Campbell. Can I take Kurt and them in here and they can help me carry them over?" Mr. Campbell gestured to me that it was fine and I ran out- until I remembered I was in the library and slowed down when I remembered I was in the library- still walking fast towards the tables in the end of the library.

And there just was that something, something in how fast I had answered Mr. Campbell and how happy I had felt when he told me I could have three shelves with books filled with sheet music and lyrics and how excited I felt when I let go off the doubt. It just made me feel sure.

I had made the right decision with putting up a new glee club.

I just knew it

**Sharon POV **

"So are you sure then Shar?" Mum asked when we sat and ate breakfast on Tuesday morning. "You know- after what's going on you know you could stay home for a few days to just, think through things?" I nodded, then shook my head to show I wasn't going to stay at home while I lifted up the piece of toast mum had put in front of me. "Are you sure?" I nodded. "Okay, you've got your cellphone so if you need or want something just call okay?" I nodded again. "Okay honey. Bye then."

Mum left to go to work, but I just stayed by the kitchen table for another hour just staring right out in the air. I tried wondering about what on earth I would be doing now, what would I say to the father- to Alex? And what on earth would I do with myself- and with this baby? I was only fifteen, and if there was something I did know- I was not ready to be a mother!

That and that I in fact was pregnant was about the only things I did know- because everything else was so unclear I couldn't even pull one thought out from everything and think about it. And so, way too late actually- I stood up and cleaned from the table before I grabbed my coat and my bag and slowly walked towards the bus stop.

I didn't really remember what I had done after the pregnancy test had turned out positive. Right then nothing had been clear- and in the chock that followed I hadn't been thinking about what I was doing- but I remembered I had thrown the test towards the trash can in the corner. I didn't know if it had ended up in the can though and I went over there to check so it wasn't just lying on the floor somewhere- for now I'd just have to keep this a secret.

I walked over to the right hallway and passing a corner I walked right into Mr. Alexander Fredericks himself. "Sorry" I mumbled, he only glared at me- ever since what had happened between us two that night- he would act angry and as if having sex was all my idea and all my fault- including him cheating on Esme- so he only kept on walking and I hurried towards the trash can.

I tried searching discreetly on the floor around the trash can- even looking in it- but I couldn't see the test anywhere. So I guessed the janitor had taken the trash and thrown it away some time and then walked away to get to class.

If I had only known how wrong I was

And how much it would mean during the next few months that the janitor didn't have anything to do with it being gone.

**Dakota POV **

"See you Dakota." I raised my hand in a wave goodbye to my friend when he turned around and walked down another hallway while I continued down the main one and towards my locker. Well. That was until something on the floor behind a trash can caught my eye and I couldn't help to stop and look closer.

When I saw what it was I pulled off my bag and searched around in it and found an empty plastic bag that I put over my hand and reached for the small, white item in form of a used pregnancy test. A positive used pregnancy test.

I looked around to check so no one was looking my way and then pulled the bag in and out and over the test, twisted the bag several times around itself before I stuffed it in my bag. I didn't really know why- but I did- and somewhere in all of that I decided that I was going to find out whose this test was.

It might have had to do with the fact that my mum had left as soon as I was out of hospital as a new born-well at least that was what my dad and what my brothers told me. They would all act so weird whenever I had used to ask about why my mum left I didn't know what to believe. But I had promised myself that if I was ever going to have a child myself, or as much as help a girl or a woman with her child. Then I would do anything to help and act like a dad would.

And that was why I decided to figure out whose test this was. I had heard about the boys who became dads in high school and if that dad- whoever he was, was like that. I would do anything to help the mother give the child the best childhood she or he could get.

I walked down to my locker and then checked the list of people that had made it into the cheerleading squad. "Yes" I boxed in the air of happiness when I read my name at the bottom of the list and then jogged away to Coach Matthews's office. He smiled slightly when I knocked the door and turned around and then reached me a box with the robes for cheerleading. "Thank you sir…"

Walking towards my locker to put the box in there I was almost skipping with happiness and didn't really look where I was going- and so I walked right into an open locker- of- freaking- course! "Hey" When I was on the floor with a hand over my bleeding nose. "So we meet again!" I looked up and saw it was Benjamin- the boy that I had opened a door at yesterday- what a coincidence.

"Here." He pulled some tissues out of his locker. "Oh… ouch. Come on, we'll get you to the bathroom, this needs water." I tried bending a bit forward so not too much blood would end up on my shirt while walking towards the bathroom. Benjamin seemed to be used to this, cause he had pushed me down to kneel by one of the sinks and pushed tissues soaked in freezing cold water into my nose before I would have had the time to say nosebleed.

"Wow… that really did bleed a lot." Benjamin washed his hands. "You get nosebleeds easily huh?" I nodded- I used to have them without a reason a least a couple of times a month. "Yeah- my sister's the same. This will make it stop in just a minute." He smiled slightly and scratched his neck just as the bell rang with the first lesson starting.

"You cad go." I told him thickly. "I caddo dis byseff"

"No, no I'll stay." Benjamin smiled, in a way that made me feel week to the knees- even though I was already sitting on my knees on the floor. Oh come on Dakota- you couldn't be falling in love now! But what was it that Rocky just ran away every time I met Benjamin? I zoned away for a bit.

"So… well… if you need one of the older students to teach you a bit about this school." Benjamin pulled out a marker pencil and too my hand. "Call me okay? Or if you would just like to hang out or… whatever!" He wrote his phone number on the inside of my arm and pushed the pen down in his pocket before he raised in a wave and turned in the other direction while I backed away towards my classroom.

Was it possible… was it really possible?

No it probably wasn't- he just wanted to be friends.

But I couldn't help to quite dreamily walk away. And to zone out during the lessons thinking about his blonde tresses and blue eyes.

**Carole POV **

On the time for the audition all the people that had signed up for audition when I, Burt, Blaine and Kurt stood in line on the stage to tell them what was going to happen. "So… two of you have signed up together…" Burt stated. "Jasper and Evie… Birch. Can you stand up for us?" A boy and a girl- perhaps twins stood up to show who they were.

"Yes sir." The boy spoke.

"Do you want to audition together?"

"Yes sir."

"Oh well.. first of all… to all of you… don't "sir" me. I'm Burt. So you're all on first name terms on me, and I know for a fact you're on first name terms on my wife here too." Burt clapped my shoulder. "So no sir me okay?" He glanced over the group of teenagers. "Thank you."

"Can I just ask a question?" The tall, brown- haired boy we had seen earlier today raised his hand. "So you two," He nodded to me and Burt. "Are married, and you're the new glee director?" He nodded to Blaine who nodded. "So who are you?" the boy- I couldn't remember his name, looked to Kurt. "And how are you related? I'm just curious."

"Actually…" Blaine held up his hand to show the ring. "I and Kurt here are married." The boy whistled slightly and nodded. "Burt and Carole are my father and stepmother in law… if there is something called stepmother in law." Blaine smirked, the boy nodded again and leaned back, but I had seen Burt's expression harden and his eyes go dark when the boy whistled.

"Do you have anything against them being married?" His voice was stiff and low- the boy mostly seemed surprise he would have taken it like that.

"No," the boy smiled nervously. "No, no, no. Absolutely not!" Burt's expression softened again but I could tell he was going to keep an extra eye on the boy. "No- it's cool." The boy leaned backwards again. And Blaine looked down at the audition list. I could see the boy up in the audience was nervous, and I decided to talk to him and Burt later and mend a bit if it was needed.

"So… why don't we start with you two- Jasper and Evie Birch… oh and for anyone who wants the guitar is right he…" Blaine pointed to an acoustic guitar in the back of the stage, but hadn't finished before he was interrupted by a girl- possible sixteen to eighteen years old that had been standing up and now glared to Blaine. "Yes?"

"I know for a fact I was the first one to sign up on the list. And that would mean I'm first…"

"Yes?"

"I've made plans with someone else because I knew I was going to go first. If I don't then I'm not going to get there in time." Blaine scratched the back of his head and pushed the fringe out of his eyes- lately he would skip the gel more and more often which caused his dark curls to always fall down in his eyes with how long it was getting- so of course it was back in his eyes after a second.

"I'm sorry… Wait you must be…" he looked to the list. "Lea- Marie Hale. Ehrm… I'm sorry but I've already told…"

"It's fine Sir. We could go last. It's really fine." The boy with the brown curls scratched his neck and mostly seemed to want to keep out of trouble. Blaine kept a hand in the back of his hair and seemed to wonder about how to do.

"I need to be there…" Lea- Marie Hale said in a spoiled tone and pouted. And started saying something else but Blaine interrupted.

"Okay… okay I know… just be quiet for a bit I need to think…" He bit his lip, but Lea- Marie didn't keep silent, and kept on talking in the same spoilt tone as before but more and more annoyed and faster and faster.

"I can't quit my plans because you wouldn't be fair and go in the list's order…."

"OKAY" Blaine was clearly annoyed as well. "You can go first, but you two." He nodded to the Birch's. "You'll go right after." Lea- Marie finally seemed happy and she walked out in the stairs and down towards the stairs to get to the stage while Kurt pulled out four clipboards- yet another one of things he collected- and four pencils and papers out of his bag and handed them out to me, Burt and Blaine before we walked out to right behind where the brown- haired boy and another brown- haired girl sat just as Lea- Marie got ready to sing.

A few minutes ago the only word I would have had to describe Lea- Marie Hale was spoiled. And she sure was spoiled- but as she was standing in the limelight I couldn't help but to notice that with her tall, slim figure, her olive skin and long, wavy brown hair she was also truly beautiful- and as she started singing she was also talented.

And she was really talented. Also with the slight accent- possible European that I couldn't help but notice in her English. And even I- who wasn't one cell of a musician knew that the tones she could hit perfectly were so high I wouldn't be able to ever dream of hitting- even if I would be doing it false.

"I like her shoes…" Kurt leaned closer to me, I could see him laughing slightly when I had to pull my glasses out of my pocket and put them on to see them. Well- I suppose I would have had to do that when I started writing anyway. And then I looked to the feet of the girl down on the stage- I should have been able to see them even without glasses because they were neon green and yellow and cutting off from the other quite neutral colors she was wearing with silver, black and white.

"They're nice." I agreed with Kurt. "And she's sure got some talent."

Lea- Marie finished the song and didn't even make an intention to thank for the chance to audition before she headed up the stairs and walked out of the auditorium. "She's nice." Blaine said ironically. "But she have got talent… I need talent… well I'll need some time to think about that. Ehrm… so now it's your turn. Jasper and Evie Birch."

The brown- haired boy that had been talking earlier now stood up again and reached out his hand. The girl- who had lighter hair than her brother put up in a ponytail, took it and even from this distance I could see he squeezed it slightly and whispered something to her. She smiled and ruffled his hair before they walked down to the stairs.

"Oh they match." Burt stated when we could see their clothes as well. "Oh… I wonder which one of them decided which colors to wear." I lightly hit the back of my husband's head on his- to me only stupid comment about them both wearing clothes matching in the same shade of pink and black "Okay… sorry that was a stupid comment."

"Hello." Jasper said in the microphone while sitting down on the stool we have put on the stage for the ones who were playing guitar while his sister sat down by the piano. "My name is Jasper Birch, I'm fourteen and a Freshman. This is my sister Evie and she's seventeen and a Junior." I raised an eyebrow- to tell from the looks of the others they were probably guessing about twins or Evie being the younger as well.

"We will be doing We are young by fun."

"Can I just ask one question?" Burt held up his hand. "Boy… you've got some serious trouble telling your sister no haven't you?" Jasper laughed and there were a couple of spread laughter among the others as well.

"Is it that obvious?" Jasper asked.

"I suppose it wasn't your idea to wear pink." Jasper laughed again.

"No… but say something I wouldn't do to make her happy! And I like pink too. I suppose we should better get started now." Burt nodded and gestured to him to get started. Jasper himself took a chord on his guitar while Evie laid her hands on the piano keys and then Jasper hit his fingers towards the wood of the guitar to get a rhythm and when everything started Ellie sang the first eight lines and then Jasper took over for a bit.

They might not have been anything that made you stop and stare like Rachel Berry or Mercedes Jones, but they were good singers, and they did it well together. I couldn't see a reason to why Blaine would not accept them into the new glee club I knew as I scrabbled down what I thought on my paper.

"Well done guys." Blaine told them. "We'll be in touch. You can go sit down again or do something else whatever you want." Jasper and Evie went to sit down to witness the rest of the auditions again. Blaine draw a line over Lea- Marie's name. "I'm just doing it to keep an eye on who many are left." He told us and draw aa line over the Birch's. "Kurt you choose the next." He reached the paper to Kurt.

"I don't know who any of these are…"

"Me neither. Just choose one with a name you like or just choose someone." Kurt nodded and closed his eyes and put his finger down on the list, opened his eyes again and saw what name he had his fingertip on. "So just say who it is." Kurt looked up and shouted out the name in the auditorium.

"Keagan Spencer?" Another brown- haired boy, but this one probably with dyed brown hair stood up, put his own glasses on and half ran down the stairs towards the stage. Bradon- who sat only a few chairs away from me looked surprise, and since yesterday I knew him and Keagan were best friends so I could tell that he hadn't known.

"Why didn't you tell me you were auditioning Keags?" He asked. Keagan chuckled softly and pulled a hand through his hair.

"Because you didn't tell me you were. I had to figure out for myself so I thought I'd surprise you Bradon. You're not angry are you?" Bradon shook his head. "Well that's good buddy." Keagan looked up and glanced over Burt, to me, to Kurt and to Blaine. "Well… As you know I'm Keagan Spencer, I'm sixteen and I'm a Junior."

"Is that a Percy Jackson- themed hoodie I see?" Blaine interrupted him- well- youths and their fandoms. Keagan smiled and nodded.

"Yes it is. You a fan?" Blaine nodded. "We'll have to talk a bit about it some time. But well… on with the audition. I will be singing grenade by Bruno Mars. Acapella." He started snapping his fingers into a rhythm and put the microphone to his mouth as he started singing. I wouldn't be able to say Eagan Spencer was not a good singer because he sure was.

Only it was kind of confusing, both when he was talking and singing, and also in his looks. There was some feminine things that definitely should not be there in a sixteen year old boy. I usually wasn't one to notice such things but right now I just couldn't help it. Was it possible? No it probably wasn't! But was it possible that Keagan was a girl? Transgender?

I shook my head- holey moley Carole! You've gone weird on elder days. I shook my head to shake the thoughts off. That really wasn't my business to think about. But I couldn't help but wonder… and I couldn't fully shake the thoughts of while Keagan still stood down on the stage and sang his heart out.

"No pass it to Carole." I heard just after Keagan had finished his audition and I turned my head to see Kurt sitting holding the list of people who had signed up for auditioning back to Blaine. "She can decide the next." I took the paper from Kurt and nodded even though I had already kind of decided who to pick.

"Well, I only know one person here so- Bradon. Why don't you go next?" Bradon nodded and stood up before he walked down on the stage and high- fived Keagan on the way down and then grabbed the guitar- which I knew my son had taught him to play as well as to sing all those years ago- time really flew by didn't it?

"My name is Bradon Fredericks. I'm fifteen and a sophomore. I'll be doing all of the stars by Ed Sheeran." He climbed up on the stool behind him and played a few chords. And if I would have said that he sounded anything like the last time I had heard him sing- I would have lied.

Because the little boy that I had once known had during the years we had barely met at all into the young man who stood before me now. Hitting every note- even I could tell that. In a low, beautiful voice. And it was watching that young man that I just knew what to say- something that would express exactly how good I thought this was.

"Bradon." I started when he was finished. He answered me yes. "I believe… no… I know that… that if Finn would have been here and heard you…" I cleared my throat. "…He would have been proud." The smile on Bradon's face told me enough and he ran up the stairs and more or less crawled over the chairs to hug me.

"Thank you Carole." I clapped the back of his shoulder.

"You're welcome honey." He pushed himself up and went to sit back next to Keagan but still with the same happy smile on his face as I passed the list over to Burt and he went through it mumbling to himself.

"So… the last two- and a half numbers were boys so why not take a girl next… someone with a nice name… Charlotte is a nice name." I couldn't help but to laugh and shake my head at him. "Charlotte Amato?" A tall, but very skinny girl in the front row stood up and nodded. She hurried towards the stairs and then walked down on stage. But she seemed shy, and the skinny- jeans, tank top and short sleeved crop shirt she was wearing only put onto the fact that she looked way too skinny and shy.

"My name is Charlotte Amato." Well. I'd have to admit that with this tiny voice. I didn't have much hope for her singing. "I'm fifteen and a freshman. I will be singing don't cry for me Argentina from the musical Evita." Blaine grimaced quite discreetly and looked to us others- I couldn't help but notice the look on Charlotte's face.

"Blaine!" I scolded. "She saw you." Blaine grimaced again- for another reason again. "It's okay honey." I started. "I'm sure you'll do great. You just start when you're ready yeah?" The freshman nodded nervously. "Hey… honey, take a few deep breaths to start with okay?" She nodded and I could see her breathing slowly. And then she started.

My chin dropped, and so did all of the others' I almost had a feeling she was miming because here was no way that huge voice could fit into that tiny body! Because she was tiny! Probably at least as tall as me but just skin and bones. But I could see she was still nervous even though she was trying to get through it one line after the other. But it showed- and then we could hear it as her voice broke of nervousity.

And then she got more nervous, and it broke again.

And again

And again

And then she stopped singing

**And that's the end… and so, how many of you except for me and LocalXmusicXjellybeanX have done the ALS ice bucket challenge? Well… I did it earlier today and I now nominate all of you to either donate money for ALS, empty a bucket of ice water over your head for awareness or both. You've got twenty four hours, and you should nominate three others, good luck. **

**Playlist  
Lea-Marie- Somewhere- west side story  
Jasper and Evie- We are young- Fun.  
Keagan- Grenade- Bruno Mars  
Bradon- All of the stars- Ed Sheeran  
Charlotte- Don't cry for me Argentina- The musical Evita **


	7. Auditions part two

**The poll about the characters is still open, so if you haven't voted please do so : ) Here's a brand new chapter for you all. The last couple of auditions will be in the next chapter as I decided to make three **audition** chapters instead of two **

**Liam POV **

I had a short talk with Charlotte before she went to audition and tried to talk her into that she really was good enough and that she was great and there was nothing to worry about. I wasn't sure if she believed me though but there wasn't much else I could do as I saw her walk down towards the auditorium and turned towards the cafeteria.

"Liam?" My friend Luke suddenly looked up after a little while and stretched out his neck as if he was looking for something behind me. "Isn't that your sister? It looks like she's looking for you. Or someone else…" I turned around and watched to where Luke was looking- I knew Charlotte was at her glee- club audition right now, and expected it to be Frances- which was the two reasons why I was surprised when I saw Charlotte standing there with tear-stained cheeks and her hand over her mouth.

I quickly stood up and hurried over to her, she had seen me before I caught up but she still didn't move closer to me. "I chocked. " She almost whispered when I was close enough to hear. "I choked on my audition." Charlotte sobbed and then buried her face in her hands. I didn't want half the school to get the pleasure of seeing my little stepsister crying so I carefully took her shoulders in my hands and led her out of the cafeteria.

I had to more or less pull Charlotte with me into an empty hallway and then let her go and took a step to the side so I could look her in the eyes. "Charlotte! You're a great singer and you know it! What happened?" My stepsister breathed fast and sniveled and sobbed so I got she wouldn't be able to answer me for the moment. "Okay come here." I reached my arms around and pulled Charlotte close to me patting the back of her shoulder in the move.

"I don't know… well there were four well… judges or whatever and one of them he was making these weird faces before I started. A-and it wasn't mean or anything but it just made me even more nervous and th- then I sang it wrong and then again… and then I just stopped singing and ran out of the room."

Charlotte looked up at me. She had almost stopped crying but her lip was still shivering and she still had tears in her eyes. I hugged her again and stroke her hair. "It's okay" I tried to comfort. "Look! I'll talk to the director. I'm sure he'll give you another shot…" I bit my lip, and thought for a second about whether I should say what I thought about or if it would only make matters worse.

"Look! Lottie, I know that when you go to your mum's grave you… kind of get to think like nowhere else and…. That whatever it is you usually find your answers there… so… when school is done for today then go to the graveyard okay? Maybe it can help this time too, I'll talk to the judges." Charlotte nodded and hang her head when tears started rising again when she thought about her mum.

**Carole POV **

When Burt passed the paper with the names of people that had signed up to audition back to Blaine I had already been down in the stairs trying to catch Charlotte before she ran off the stage. My first intention had been to get down and talk with her, tell her it was okay and that she'd get another chance- maybe the glee club could help her so she wouldn't be as nervous.

But she had ran into the curtains and away through the hallway before I had even gotten into the stairs so I walked back to sit between Burt and his son and waited for Blaine to choose one person with his or her name on the sign up paper. "Oh here's one with a nice last name…" Blaine said and looked up. "Seth Anderson- Philips?"

A pale, brown- haired boy stood up and started making his way out to the stairs. "So…" Blaine continued. "Anderson? You don't have a long lost uncle or something named Simon Anderson because you look a bit like my brother… are you adopted or something because…?" Blaine faked looking really scared, the boy that had gotten down on stage and now reached for the guitar laughed.

"Ehrm…. No… I'm not your long lost brother, or your long lost cousin or even related. It's not very common here I know but… where I come from… where I was born I mean… Anderson is one of the most common last names." Blaine nodded but seemed a bit to speed to stop talking and asked if Seth was absolutely sure, the young boy laughed again and shook his head. "Yes I'm sure."

"Okay well… where do you dome from then? Your English is good so… Great Britain? Australia? Ireland?"

"Sweden" Blaine's chin dropped- I did understand though- Sweden wasn't exactly a country you heard about a lot here- or anywhere. Though maybe- Blaine said he'd gone skiing in Sweden once. "I think you're talking about Switzerland actually. Most people mix them up." Seth scratched his neck and Blaine wondered a bit and then nodded.

"So well… I'd love to talk but… we haven't got too much time so… you just get started." Seth nodded and took a few chords on the guitar before he started. "He's really good!" Blaine whispered to us others. "And this song is perfect for his voice. I need him in the glee club!" Blaine threw himself back towards the back support of the chair and watched the rest of the performance in silence.

"I… love… these… lyrics." Kurt said with long pauses in between every word said. "Damn…. Why didn't I hear this song when I was his age?" Blaine lifted his hand and clapped his husband's shoulder. Kurt slightly leaned his head against Blaine's and then scratched the top of his head for a bit before we all looked down towards the stage and the boy who was just putting the guitar and stool back in their places.

"Good job Seth…" Blaine began. "The list will be up tomorrow morning. But you stand a good chance." Seth nodded and smiled, and then went back to sit down in the audience while Kurt eyed through the list to find a name he liked among them who hadn't auditioned yet.

"Belle… that's nice…. Belle Jolie?" A dark- haired girl that sat right by Seth stood up and turned to us.

"Sir…. It's pronounced like… Zho-lly and not like that." Kurt nodded and tried to say it again. "Yeah that's right. Oh… sorry I'm just going to get to audition." Belle walked past Seth and waited for another girl with, red short hair to stand up so she could walk by her too. "Thank you."

"She…. Is… amazing" Kurt almost whispered when Belle had started singing. "And that song is perfect for her. And she totally knows what she's singing about!" I pushed my glasses higher on the bridge of a nose to see better and I couldn't do else then agree. She really did look like she knew what she was singing about- which such a sad song? Poor thing.

"That's good honey." I said when she started fixing with putting the microphone back in the stand. She nodded, and before any of us had the chance to say anything else turned around and walked into the curtains and out of our sight. Kurt passed the paper with the list to me and I eyed through it. "Sharon Fischer?"

**Sharon POV **

So everything that had happened since yesterday afternoon was actually mostly a blur. I knew what had happened, only it felt so unreal. Like this wasn't supposed to be happening to me, like I had been watching it from outside- it just couldn't be real!

But at the same time I knew and could remember everything that had happened, I could remember my mum first stopping in the middle of a breathe when I told her what was so unbelievable, I could remember her standing absolutely still for a few seconds. Scaring me that she would get angry and throw me out of the house.

But I also remembered how she had wrapped her arms around me, held me as long as I cried and softly hummed and spoken comforting words. I also remembered how she had let me sleep in her bed sitting on the edge herself all night stroking my hair and humming on the same lullabies she sang to me when I was little for the first time in years.

I knew what had happened only I couldn't really remember how it had happened. It was just all too blurry.

And I knew that somewhere in all of that I had decided that the best song for auditioning probably was best to sing a song that meant something. Maybe if I just chose a song that made it all fit it would help me sing well and then I would make it in. I was an alright singer but there was this song that just seemed to fit perfectly.

That night, at the party. Damn it, Alex had just made it feel like he really loved me. Like he was worthy my feelings and I was worthy his. Now he had barely looked at me for weeks, and if he spoke to me his tone was cold and short and he'd try to get away as fast as possible.

I hadn't been able to tell him yet, I knew I had to- damn it- I had a piece of him in me he needed to know. And he was going to know one way or another and sooner or later. I would just have to find a good way about how to tell him.

And I just knew, that he already was and was going to be even more, of a person who came in. Got what he could get to his pleasure, damaged what he could damage in the way without caring about it and then left no matter what happened afterwards.

And that was why this song just seemed to fit so well.

The judges and no one else had to know why I seemed to know what I was singing about. Not yet anyway. And as I sang through the song just knowing that I hit everything- even the lowest and the highest tones right. It just felt perfect- maybe not everything around it- but the song- and my voice with the song.

"That's really good." The man named Dwayne or whatever said afterwards. "Well I guess you know by now… the list will be up tomorrow morning. You're free to go or do whatever you want." I nodded and stepped out in the stairs, walking up the stairs originally on my way to just sit back down in the audience.

"Esme Montague" The man in the baseball cap shout out and without thinking about it I stopped in the middle of the stairs as my former best friend walked out in the stairs and came down towards me. And just as she came out in the stairs her eyes met mine and her eyes were just as cold as they ever wore these days.

I continued walking, looking to the floor mostly, which I obviously shouldn't have done, because just as I and Esme met in the stairs she pretended to stumble- I should have kept an eye on her- I knew she was vindictive, and so in a move of pretending to find her balance she stuck her foot out and caused me to fall hard towards the stairs.

"Oh sorry I didn't mean to." Esme pretended to apologize as I pushed myself up, but didn't move much more- except for telling the judges that I was okay- until Esme's song started playing and I straight away recognized the song we had- when we were eleven and twelve years old been standing and having a show to our parents with- it just got too much to bear and I jumped onto my feet and ran up the rest of the stairs.

Stroking away tears more and more often I ran to my locker and got out a notebook that I used to scrabble down poems and texts I could think about in. A few weeks ago I had scrabbled down something for a poem I suddenly thought of but never finished it- though maybe I could now when it seemed so perfect.

And barely half an hour later, forgotten was everything about lessons- I looked down at the finished poem

_Despite all of the people that pass by  
Despite all of them who talk to me about things  
That no longer means anything  
I've never felt as lonely as now_

_Despite all the friends  
That always have liked me  
For who I am  
I've never felt as lonely as now_

_All the "It will be alright"'s  
No longer mean anything  
They belonged to another sorrow, of another time  
And I've never felt as lonely as now_

_Despite everyone who assures me  
That they're always going to be there  
Whatever happens  
I've never felt as lonely as now_

_Despite everyone who wonders  
I can't get myself to talk about what's happened  
Is it my own fault  
That I've never felt as lonely as now_

_The conscience is burning  
Because I know  
That it is my own fault  
That I've never felt as lonely as now_

_Never have I ever before needed a shoulder to cry on this much  
Never have I ever needed an "it will be alright"  
But I don't deserve it, because it's my own fault  
That I've never felt as lonely as now._

**Daniel POV **

I noticed the girl- Sharon or whatever her name was run out of the room and couldn't help but feel a frown form in between my eyes- but didn't really waste a second thought to her as I turned my head back to look towards the stage and the girl who had just been sitting two chairs in the audience away from me.

As I turned my head something on the floor caught my eye and I lowered my head to see a book lying right by the denim bag that belonged to the girl on the stage- obviously named Esme and I reached down and picked it up. If it stayed on the floor she might just as well miss it so I'd just give it back.

"The fault in our stars" I whispered reading from the cover. "John Green." Well that was an interesting title- I had heard about this book- maybe I could just try and read- just one page. I opened the book and started reading- almost right away getting caught and pulled into the world of Hazel Grace Lancaster.

"HEY" I wasn't pulled back to reality before I heard the shout right over my head. "That's mine." I started looking up from the book- just one other word- but she then ripped it out of my hands. "Have you been sneaking in my bag?" I shook my head as the girl before me lifted her bag up and felt all the pockets and stuttered something pathetic.

I should have just leave it be

"N- No I- it was on the floor I…"

"NO it wasn't! It was in my bag, and to find it you must have been sneaking in it and then closed it again. I probably sat there staring looking mostly like a chimpanzee when one of the judges- the man in the baseball cap who hadn't actually seemed to like me from the start leaned over the start and started putting his mind into the business too.

"What's going on?" Esme told him exactly what she had told me, I kept quiet- and with way too much experience of having people mad at me when I had the tie on I nervously untied it and pulled it off before I pressed it down in my pocket. "Hey… I'll have a little talk with you boy later…" The man's green eyes were stone- hard. "Now… get out."

"I- I…" I stuttered trying to get a chance to explain what had really happened.

"I said get out." The man was under no circumstances taking a no from me at this point I saw, and I stood up angrily for not being given a chance to explain and grabbed my guitar, jumped over one row of chairs and ran out in the stairs and up. How dared they? Without even giving me a freaking chance?

But there were other thoughts too, like was this really my once chance to be a part of something? Was this really my only chance? Was this it? What would it be now?

I left the room just as I heard them call out the name of Dakota Lopez and then the doors closed after me.

**Burt POV **

"You could have given him a chance to explain!" Carole said while Dakota made his way down to the stage. I shook my head- I could tolerate most things without getting angry but if there was one thing- except for hurting my kid that would make me go nuts then it was stealing- and I was under no circumstances tolerating that right under my vision.

"Well… you're the last but you just start." Dakota nodded at Blaine's words and the music- that went through his cellphone and out in the speakers started playing- oh finally someone who had chosen not to do a ballad here- well, I guess catching that boy stealing had just put me in a bad mood.

"I know discussing clothes is mostly up to you two." I looked to my wife and son. "But I've got to admit, I like this boy's clothes." Carole laughed softly and shook her head at me. I looked down at the boy again and eyed over his American- flag- themed outfit with sneakers with one red and white and one blue and white, white pants and some sort of tee with a print of the American flag and at last a dark- blue cap back and forth that I had seen earlier had an American flag on it.

Well- I'd have to admit I was impressed by this boy's sense of fashion!

The boy sang and danced through the whole performance, and no one of us noticed the boy that had come walking down the first set of stairs by our side- well- that was until Dakota was done and he spoke up.

"So Kota. When were you thinking about telling us about this?"

**So, the poem Sharon wrote is called "Never as lonely" I wrote it. The original is in Swedish, I translated it for this and TamJaspie helped me fix it for it to be better in English so credit to her for that. Rules if you want to use it is the same as with "Still can't believe" in the prologue, 1. Ask me first and 2. Give me credit for it. **

**Playlist  
Seth- Invisible- Hunter Hayes  
Belle- Hopelessly devoted to you- From grease  
Sharon- Wrecking ball- Miley Cyrus  
Esme- Finally me- Laura Marano  
Dakota- Break free- Ariana Grande  
**


	8. Auditions part three

**The poll will be open until I put the next chapter up. So if you haven't voted yet, please do so. I will post the finishing… finishing…. Darn it I don't know the word… well I'll post whoever won and how many votes everyone's got in the A/N at the next chapter. **

**Dakota POV **

I couldn't help but smile when the music rang out and I took a step back to go and pull out my phone from the chords leading to the speakers of the auditorium- still with the same silly grin on my face- that quickly faded when my youngest older brother's voice echoed through the auditorium from the stairs.

"So Kota, when were you thinking about telling us about this?" Javier stood in the middle of the chairs, all the way from the stage I could see a frown in between his eyes and he had his arms crossed over his chest in that way that could only mean that he wasn't angry with me- but dead serious and it made shivers go through my spine.

I pulled my phone off and pushed it down into my pocket while quickly grabbing my bag and the box with the cheerleading outfits and hurrying up the stairs while stuttering back and forth in Spanish to Javier what I was doing and some pathetic excuse on that I hadn't really gotten the time to tell my dad, or Javier himself, or any of our four older brother's.

"Dakota" Javier stroke his forehead distressed. "I know that you know that this glee club and…" he looked to the box in my hands. "And the cheerios too will mean a great deal from now on." I nodded. "Everyone are going to find out- and that fast- why would you even try to keep it a secret?" I shrugged and tried to come up with a good answer- it was not like Javier didn't know anyway.

"And you know what dad is going to think about putting so much time on something like this. You know he wants you to get into…"

"I know what dad wants." I said quite rudely. "And I don't care- this is what I want- and if it because of him is going to be just a hobby then let me do what I want. I'll tell him when I start getting into it. Why are you shaking your head Javier?"

"I know you Kota- if you don't tell him tonight then you're going to get yourself into a long net of lies and it's going to get worse and worse until he finds out by himself and then is sad and disappointed that you haven't trusted him with it. You've got until nine P.M. tonight and if you haven't told him yet then I will." I tried to protest but when Javier sighed I knew he wasn't going to give in.

"I'm sorry Dakota, it's for your own best." Javier gave me a look that I knew meant that if I hadn't told our dad by the time he had said he would make reality of his promise. "Look. Dad loves you, that's not going to change, you know that. And even if he may not like this he would never try to keep you from doing it!"

I sighed and looked to my feet as if they were suddenly really interesting. Of course I knew, but I also knew that with something that such a huge impact on my own life, I would never be able to do it without feeling bad about it if dad didn't agree with it. So then I might just as well not do it at all.

**Christie POV **

I leaned my head backwards towards the wall of the bathroom stall where I sat on the floor and tried to breathe as deep as I could. My throat burned and I knew it would take ages for the sour taste in my mouth to fade fully as I waited for the nausea to pass and then stood up and flushed the toilet.

Coming out from the stall I didn't look around, but as I stood by the sink trying to wash my mouth I couldn't help but notice the dark girl standing by the sink in the other end of the bathroom discreetly glancing over at me. "What?" I asked rudely not caring about the fact that it was clear she had been crying.

"Are you alright?" She asked, I just glared at her for an answer- sure I Was fine, I just threw my guts up for fun! "Is there something I could do to help?" I glared at her again. "Do you want some?" She held up a pack of gum. "It might help with the taste…" I threw the piece of paper I had used in the trash and then glared at her once again.

"Look! I don't need help and certainly not from a complete stranger so no. Just shut up already and stay away." I backed and then turned around and pushed the door opened- walking right into a tall and brown- haired boy right outside of the bathroom. "Watch out." I scolded rudely, even though it was I who had walked into him.

"Christie." I heard from the other side of the hallway and turned around to see my aunt Carole hurrying towards me. I shoved my hands in my pockets and tried to act as if I was actually feeling great even though I was still nauseas and on top of it all exhausted and my arms and legs were all itchy.

"I heard what you said to that boy." Carole sighed. "Chris… can't you at least try to be a bit nicer to people?" I looked questioning to her- what would that be good for? "Hey…" Carole suddenly frowned and then felt my forehead but I pulled away. "You've been sick. And don't try and tell me you're fine I can smell it…" I looked away. "…Do you want to go home?" I shrugged, trying to hide the fact that I actually wanted to answer her yes and just go home, crawl up in my bed and sleep.

"Christie…" Carole's voice was softer now. "Just answer me yes or no. If you feel like you need to go home then just say yes- I won't be mad at you." I looked to the side and bit my lip, hoping that my just very slightly nod would be enough for her to see. Even though I didn't really want to make it more. "Okay…" Carole laid her hand on my back. "Do you have something in your locker that you need to get?" I shook my head. "Okay then."

**Burt POV **

Because we had only taken one car to McKinley in the morning it was decided that I would drive Carole and Christie back home to then drive back to McKinley and help the boys set the choir room ready for a glee club to have their rehearsals in there again. Christie sat in the back seat quietly but I could see Carole worriedly glancing back at the small girl in the back that seemed to be half asleep where she sat.

"Okay then." I pulled over at our driveway and glanced at Christie in the rearview mirror. She sat and fumbled with getting the button to the belt opened which was as most others small movements hard because her hands and fingers were so swollen from her disease. "You need some help kiddo?"

"No." Just as I had asked she got the belt off and then fumbled with opening the car door. "Thank you for the ride." She got out and then walked down the driveway without looking back. I sighed- I had only known Christie for a few days but it was already clear- and frustrating how she wouldn't let anyone help her.

When the car door closed after Carole I backed out of the driveway and drove back to McKinley, headed towards the choir room when I heard someone dribbling from inside the gym and couldn't help but to walk over there and check who it was.

Coming inside the hall I couldn't help but recognize the boy from the auditions. Yeah Danny or whatever- the boy who had been in that girl's handbag during the audition stood and dribbled with a basketball and threw it towards the basket, it missed, and flew over his head bumping back. When he turned around to go get it he saw me.

"Oh… it's you!" He said with a callous tone and rushed for a bit to catch up with the basketball. "What do you want?" His tone was cold, if it had been rude it would have been so easy for me just to scold him for it and get angry but he wasn't rude he just sounded like… well I wasn't the best with feelings- stuff but even I could hear that he just sounded…. Like he'd given up.

"The truth!" I answered him, he sighed and threw the ball towards the basket angrily and missing it again. He sighed and walked over to get it and with his back against me and the ball in his hands he talked again.

"The truth? Well do you want what you want to be true or what really is truth?" I answered him the real truth. "I didn't touch that girl's bag. The book was on the floor and I picked it up because I figured it was hers so I was going to give it to her so she didn't miss it and lost it." I had walked closer to the boy and he turned towards me and if he was lying- he was darn good at it.

"I believe you." I told him but his expression were still as cold. "Hey… that you didn't get to audition is my fault. So you just grab that guitar and I'll take you to Kurt and Blaine okay? And if they say yes then you can audition. And… Danny…"

"Daniel."

"Daniel… I'm sorry for this okay. I should have listened to you in the first place." I reached out my hand, Daniel slightly smiled and shook my hand. Daniel sighed and turned away from me holding the basketball under his arm and grabbing the guitar he had laid on the benches beside and following me out of the gym and towards the choir room.

"Hey dad" Kurt greeted me as I walked into the choir room first. "Was Christie alri… oh." Kurt interrupted himself when Blaine stood and blew on a book to blow the dust off- right into Daniel's face. Daniel himself started coughing and sneezing while the sound of that was mixed with Blaine's attempts to apologize.

I explained to Blaine and Kurt what was going on. Blaine asked Daniel yet again about what he had seen and heard in the auditorium. "I told you…" Daniel's expression had gone cold again. "I have no idea what you're talking about. And I'm late for my lesson so do you want me to audition because I'll have to do it now then." Blaine bit his lip distressed, then nodded and gestured for Daniel to start.

The younger boy didn't say another word before he walked into the other end of the room and started playing and singing. I wasn't a musical person, but even I could hear the boy had talent, Blaine still seemed distressed though- probably because Daniel refused to answer his question when it was so clear that he knew what Blaine was talking about- and Kurt just smiled.

"I have to go now." Daniel had pulled up his tie from his jeans pocket and hung it around his neck. "I know, list will be up tomorrow morning. I really need to go now." Daniel took his guitar and his basketball and walked out of the room. But before he walked out I couldn't help but notice that his facial expression and whole body language still held the same expression of someone that had just given up on everything.

I went to help Kurt painting a bookshelf that he'd taken here from some old shelves I had pulled downstairs from the attic and Kurt was painting them all white. "Dad!" He scolded me when I started whistling false. "Stop it! The whole school goes deaf!" I laughed and turned back to the shelf, and then the room was quiet for another while until the door opened and we all turned our heads to look who it was.

"Hello" The girl who had auditioned with her brother earlier came into the choir room and nervously tugged her sleeve as she turned to Blaine. "You're the glee club director right?" Blaine nodded. "Well… I was wondering if I made it because…." She seemed even more nervous. "I was going to ask you to… if I made it then… then I would like to if you… if I could not be in the glee club"

Blaine frowned. "Ellie was it right?"

"Evie"

"Evie… So you auditioned for the glee club but you now don't want to be in it?" Evie nodded. And without anyone asking she started explaining why.

"I have got some… well…. Everyone knows anyway… I've got… depression and… I've been depressed for quite a long time and Jasper he's…. he's always helping me you know and… and he's so excited about this glee club. And I want… I just want this somewhere where he can have when…. Where he doesn't have to worry about me."

"Oh…" Blaine's scratched the back of his head. "Well if that's what you want and you're sure."

"I'm sure. But don't tell him I did this okay?" Blaine smiled and clapped her shoulder.

"If it's what you want. Then I think you're doing the right thing, and I'll make sure he doesn't know but I think you should tell him" Evie nodded and pulled away from Blaine.

"I just thought I'd be the big sister for once."

**Carole POV **

"Hello- o" Blaine's voice echoed through the house a few hours later. "Are you home?" I walked out in the hallway. "Hey, here are the groceries you wanted." I took the bag that Blaine reached me. "Burt and Kurt went to get something, they'll be home in a little while. How's Christie?"

I bit my lip when wondering what to answer. "Well, she's doing… At least she's sleeping." I sighed and scratched my neck. I meant that was good- that Christie was sleeping because she had trouble falling asleep. "I guess she's alright." I sighed again, Blaine frowned and then nodded to behind me, and when I turned around I saw Christie had come up behind me.

"Hey honey. Are you going somewhere?" Christie would usually switch to pyjama pants, fleece shirt and knitted socks- the exact same that I had knitted for her all of those years ago but that still suited her because she was still so tiny! And I knew for a fact she had done so when we came home earlier, now she had changed back into sweatpants, hoodie and was just leaning down to reach for her shoes.

"I'm going to the graveyard." She sat down on the bench and fumbled with the shoelaces. Without asking if she needed it I kneeled and helped her with untying them, pulling them on and then tying them again. "I can do it myself!" She mumbled. "I don't need your help." But she didn't do anything to stop me for once and I decided to just ignore what she said.

"Just hold on a minute, I'll come with you." I said. "Blaine honey, can you take the groceries into the kitchen?" Blaine nodded and took them again while I reached for my jacket. Christie looked a bit angry over me coming with her but she didn't protest and I grabbed my car keys and walked outside before her. It had gone cold faster than usual and I didn't want Christie to walk the whole way to the graveyard in that.

**Christie POV **

"Isn't that the girl who choked on her audition?" When I and Carole were walking through the graveyard I saw a girl sitting on the ground by a grave and I had asked before I had stopped myself knowing that Carole didn't know I had even been in the auditorium then. I nervously looked to Carole but she didn't seem to have noticed as she pulled up her glasses from her pocket and looked towards the girl.

"Yes. I do believe it is. Hold on a minute- honey how did you know who choked on the auditions?" I tried to come up with an excuse. "Well… can you just wait here for a bit? I'll go talk to her!" Carole clapped my shoulder and I waited, not moving from the spot from where she had walked away. The girl looked up when Carole came closer, even from where I stood it was obvious that she was crying, they talked but I couldn't hear what they were saying.

Sitting in the car on the way back I mostly wanted to say "what did I tell you?" I had told Carole earlier that I was going to go on my own to the graveyard- Carole had come with me and I hadn't even gotten to where I was freaking going before she had found someone to help- and Charlotte Amato was now sitting in the back seat behind me as my aunt had seemed to talk her into making another try with auditioning if Carole took her to Blaine.

And I still hadn't been visiting my best friend since I came here!

I didn't even look at Carole stepping out of the car when we came home, and didn't waste my breath on talking to her while walking up the driveway and into the house. Neither did I waste energy on minding about her or what she told Blaine and the others walking into the kitchen while I hurried over the living room floor and just had the time to hear Charlotte starting to sing before I closed the door to my room.

I more or less threw my clothes off after locking the door and letting the blinders down so no one could watch through the window and then changed into pyjama pants, fleece shirts and knitted socks before I walked out of my room and slowly walked down the stairs and then sat down in the middle of the stairs.

**Blaine POV **

I would have to admit- like before I was really impressed by Charlotte Amato's voice. It! Was! Huge! I was pretty impressed by anyone who could sing Beyoncé like this! But how nervous she had gotten during the audition and how nervous she seemed me now worried me. What would happen if she was in the glee club and broke down at Nationals?

I didn't want to think about that. I felt terrible thinking about that and letting that have something to say in it all but I couldn't really help it even though when she had finished singing this time I had come up with something and figured that if I got Charlotte on it then it just might work.

"Charlotte." I pushed myself to the side and showed her to come and sit on the chair next to mine. "I know that you get very nervous and it might be a problem yeah?" Charlotte looked up at me and seemed more scared than ever. "But… you've got a really good voice, and a little birdy whispered in my ear that you're a very good dancer as well… so if you promise me one thing…"

"What?"

"If you promise me that you'll work on getting more secure if you get what I mean. And that you under no circumstances will give up on it… Will you promise me that?" I held out my hand, Charlotte first hesitated and then slowly reached out her hand and reached mine while she nodded. "Welcome to the glee club."

"So goodbye then." I waved Charlotte off a bit later and when the door closed behind her I walked back into the living room and sat down in the sofa on the opposite side of the table from Kurt- Burt and Carole were in the kitchen and Christie sat in the stairs. "So that's eleven members that should make it into the glee club. We need twelve to get to even compete in sectionals. And because we have got one girl less than boys then I guess it would be good if the last one was a girl."

I looked to Christie where she sat in the stairs. Maybe it was worth one other try with trying to make Christie audition for the glee club. I didn't really know why I was so eager to make her audition but I just had a feeling- and I had seen how glee club had helped the outcasts- had helped people to open up and show their true selves- and it was clear that that was something Christie needed.

"So what do you say Christie? Do you want to give it a try?" I had mostly expected to get another no from her side, and was pretty surprised when she hesitated and glanced over to the piano by the wall. "You can play it if you want? Do you want to give it a try?" Christie hesitated again and held up a hand to silent me.

"Well… I suppose it's worth a try." The young teenager stood up and walked down the stairs and without looking at me or Kurt she lifted up the lid over the piano keys. As usual the pyjama pants and fleece shirt she was wearing were way too big for her so she had to roll up both slacks and sleeves to be able to reach down to the pedals and place her fingers onto the right keys- her feet just barely reaching down far enough from the stool to be able to push down the pedals.

"It's not like I'm going to be good enough to make it into the glee club anyway" she mumbled, and I don't think it was her intention to say it out loud or for us to hear it but it completely broke my heart. And with the expression on Kurt's face it broke his too. I just… I just wanted to make her believe that she was good enough- that she was always good enough.

Christie didn't say anything else but she seemed to realize that she had said what she had thought out loud and seemed to beat herself up for it. I wanted to say something, something that could just make it all better but didn't have the time to come up with anything before she started playing and I pushed it away to listen to her voice.

And I forgot everything else. "She is good" I mouthed to Kurt. "Really good!" Burt and Carole quite slowly and silently came walking through the door to the kitchen. Carole seemed emotional and as they stopped by the hallway Burt held his arm around her shoulders. Christie played to the ending of the song, and suddenly it hit me what this song's lyrics must mean to her after everything that had happened.

"Oh Christie!" Carole said shakily when Christie had let the last tone ring out. "Honey…" Carole walked over to her and tried to stroke her cheek- but whatever it was we had seen with Christie- it was long gone.

"Don't touch." Christie pulled away. "Leave me alone." She jumped off the piano chair and then half ran up the stairs and we heard the door to Finn's old bedroom slam. Carole sighed and sat down on the piano chair and Burt went and sat down by her- talking to her softly in words that I couldn't hear.

"So that's the twelve members we need for the glee club." I said and grabbed a notebook from the table slowly and steadily starting to note the names of the ones that had made the glee club to actually make it readable. It took me a while and some glances over at the audition list and then it was finally made to hang on the bulletin board tomorrow morning.

_Seth Anderson- Phillips  
Keagan Spencer  
Charlotte Amato  
Belle Jolie  
Christie Kyemohr  
Jasper Birch  
Dakota Lopez  
Sharon Fischer  
Bradon Fredericks  
Esme Montague  
Daniel Vincent  
Lea- Marie Hale _

"Lea- Marie Hale was that really spoiled girl right?" I nodded to Kurt's question. "B… if you're going to have her in the glee club then you know that you must learn how to say no to her!" I nodded again. "I know she's got talent… but are you really a hundred percent sure it's a good idea to have her in the glee club?"

"Yep…" I nodded. "…I do not want to deal with that girl's temper if I would not accept her… and she's got a whole lot of talent!" I bit my lip and read through the list. "But oh… oops, maybe I shouldn't have put her name on the bottom of the list?!" I looked up on the others and let hear a short laugh- that went into a whole laughing fit that made my whole body shake and my stomach cramp.

I didn't know what was so funny- But I knew that I probably had never before experienced a laugh being so relieving as it was now as my, Kurt's, Burt's and Carole's laughter echoed loud through the house. _  
_**I have ended up with a writer's block and more or less had to force myself to write to get on with the chapter. It's not very good but so we're done with the auditions. **

**Playlist  
Daniel- Love you like a love song- Selena Gomez- cover by Shane Harper (it's on Youtube and it's how Daniel's audition sound since Shane Harper is his celebrity look- and- sing alike) **  
**Charlotte- Halo- Beyoncé  
Christie- wherever I go- Miley Cyrus feat. Emily Osment from Hannah Montana forever **


	9. You can come to me

**Hello : ) This is Linnéa asking for your attention for the little while, maybe the few minutes it would take for you to read through this message. And she… wait why am I talking about myself in third person? Well, let's start over again.**

**Hello : ) I just wanted to take the opportunity to, tell you how much each and every one of you mean to me. This is kind of random so if you think it's nothing else than nagging for attention you're probably right! Well… onto what I was actually going to say to you.**

**Well, if we have been chatting much the last few months then you might know that right now I am facing some major changes. And I'm not going to lie, I have been feeling… like everything I have done earlier is just going to waste and that this will never go well… but that feeling have started to fade more and more, and right now I can usually shrug and have a feeling that "it will be alright"**

**Last week I got a couple of really good news and well… I know that other people- not least my friends on here have helped me to get so to the point I'm going to be able to do this so to the point that I just feel that things are going to be alright in the end- no matter how! So I just wanted to say thank you.**

**I wanted to thank you for being my friend, or for believing in me- because even if it maybe from time to time was only a "great chapter" a bit here and there or a couple of messages every once in a while or whatever it was- it was too much for me to explain in a simple message with written words.**

**So if you were there for me, and believed in me then thank you. There is no way I could have been where I am today without you. So thank you yet again, you've meant so much more than I could ever say.**

**And if there is something I have gotten wrong and in fact you weren't my friend or didn't believe in me. Then I think that the news I have gotten the past few days will give me the right to say…**

…**in your face! **

**-Linnéa**

**So, if you have kept an eye on the tumblr and the cast list on my profile you'd know that I have decided to have two more people join the glee club. One of them is Benjamin Heedie- Dakota's crush who will probably be joining in the chapter after this. He's my OC. He's portrayed by the Swedish actor Kåre Hedebrant, and then it's Martina Kessler who you will see in this chapter, sent in by Riana Salvatore and portrayed by Hayden Panettiere. **

**Dakota POV **

I sat in the sofa in my room, watching some detective- series I had recently heard about. The language I didn't understand and I had to concentrate to have the time to read the whole text so I didn't hear the door to my room being opened or my dad coming in until I felt his hand on my shoulder and flew about half a meter up in the air.

"Dad" I panted. "God you scared me." Dad let hear a soft chuckle and held up a net bag with oranges from the supermarket and then turned it upside down and let the fruits roll into a bowl that stood in one of the shelves of my bookshelf. "Thank you." I heard someone clear their throat and looked up to see Javier standing in the door sending a meaning glare towards me.

Dad was just on his way out of the room when I spoke. "Dad. Can you come here, there's something I need to speak to you about." Javier looked satisfied. "Can you go Javier?" I said quite rudely. "And close the door?" He nodded and pulled the door closed while Dad came and sat down by me and paused the movie before I had the time to.

"Beck" Dad read the title of the series from the DVD- box. "I don't recognize that language!" He turned the box and read on the back. "Swedish!? Hm! Sorry kid. What was it that you wanted to tell me?" I nervously tugged my shoelaces. "Dakota? Is something wrong?" I usually never felt nervous for talking to him about something.

But the thing was that I really, really wanted to do these things. The cheerios and also I was for sure going to get into the new glee club- would be their loss if I didn't. I just knew that if dad didn't agree with it I knew I wasn't going to be able to look him in the eyes before I had quit both of the clubs, and I just really wanted to do it.

"Not really." I said and pushed myself up and reached for the box with the cheerleading gowns and held it in my lap. "I wasn't going to tell you before I knew that I had made it all but Javier saw me and if I don't tell you he will and you'll have to hear it from me." I scratched the back of my head. "So well, I guess the best thing is to just say it. I auditioned for the cheerleading squad, and for the glee club." I lifted the lid of the box- "And I made the cheerleading squad."

Dad frowned and suddenly looked angry. I was afraid he was angry that I didn't tell him earlier and was going to want me to quit immediately. I was just going to give him a few arguments when he spoke. "So you're telling me that you didn't make it into the glee club? Pfft, their loss?" He suddenly smiled, and when I realized what he had said I drew a relieved breath.

"No. But the auditions were today so I'm going to know tomorrow morning. I think I did pretty well at auditions though so I'm pretty sure I made it. Besides if I didn't make it, it totally is their loss." Dad smiled and peered with his brown eyes. "But I'm not going to do it if you don't want me to. I know that you'd rather want me to get into accounting than music."

"Junior." Dad interrupted. "I'm not stating that what you're saying isn't right because yes, I might have the plan that you will get into accounting or whatever and have a career within that. And I might stick to that. But- I can't keep you from having your hobbies and- when it comes to point the choice is always going to be yours and I will be supporting you no matter what you choose."

I smiled slightly, dad leant back in the sofa and laid his head backwards and loosened his tie. "So what do you say Dakota? Portillo's for dinner?" He looked pleading at me and I couldn't help to let hear a short laugh. "To celebrate that you made the cheerleading squad?" He ruffled my hair and let hear a soft chuckle.

"You're too tired to cook aren't you?" Dad nodded and laughed slightly again. He was a lawyer and the last week he had been working on a case with some men who had kidnapped a number of children. That was all I knew about it but it mentally exhausted dad and most of the nights he came home he didn't have any energy left to stand and read a recipe.

I had a menu from Portillo's lying on my bookshelf so I grabbed it and walked after dad out of my room and then walked around to ask my brother's what they would want. When I came out again dad sat half asleep in front of the TV, so my second oldest brother came to drive and get the food home instead.

"Benny" Just as I and Diego came into the Portillo's restaurant I couldn't help to notice Benjamin standing by the menu hanging on the wall. He didn't see me because he was looking down on a girl with dark- blonde hair standing by him and I stopped while Diego made our orders, with the big family and everyone who wanted food at ours reading from a paper.

"Can I please have both milkshake, French fries and burger?" I couldn't help to hear what the little girl by Benjamin asked him, even though she wasn't talking clear and it made it kind of hard to hear. "Pretty, pretty please?" Benjamin smiled, a smile so bright I couldn't help to notice all the love for this little girl.

"Okay then." He answered and pulled his hands through her hair before he turned towards the desk speaking up their orders just as Diego finished speaking up our orders and I jumped up on the stool by the table closest to the door and waited for it to get done. Benjamin still didn't see me as he walked over to the other end of the small restaurant and lifted up the girl on a stool and was sitting down on one himself when a man's voice echoed through the small restaurant,

"Hey retard." A man- perhaps in his early forties sat right by me and shouted to the young girl. "We don't want you here. Get out!" When he was done the whole restaurant had gone silent. No one said a word, but so Benjamin told the girl to look away and hold her hands over her ears and he stomped over to the man and pressed him up against the wall, shoving his fist into the man's face at least three times during the only sentence he had the time to speak.

"Do not ever…. Speak to my sister like that…. Ever again." Diego and a cashier had managed to pull away a still struggling Benjamin from the man whose lip, nose and eyebrow was bleeding and Benjamin's sister's quiet sobbing and sniveling was heard from the other end of the restaurant while the cashier had kicked both the man and the Heedie's out of the restaurant without their food

I saw through the windows in the door that Benjamin and his sister sat down on the sidewalk a bit away, and then when I heard their orders come I ran over before the cashier had pulled it away and paid for it and then walked outside with it to them, not really having an idea of why I just knew that I had to do it.

"You didn't have to!" Benjamin paid me back after I reached him the bag. "Come on Mady, now thank Dakota for doing this. Thank you Dakota." The younger girl threw her arms around my waste and hugged me without a doubt telling me her thank you's. "Oh… well Dakota, this is my sister as you might have heard in there." Not until now I realized that Mady obviously had Down's syndrome. "Come on Mady, tell him your name."

"Madison May Heedie. Mady for short" Mady gave me a smile from ear to ear just as Diego came out on the sidewalk with our food and I started backing away and noticed that Benjamin started pulling out their food from the bag and placed it on his lap. I looked to Diego- being kind to all of our friends were more his thing.

"Are you going to eat out here?" Diego had asked almost as if he knew what I kind of wanted him to ask. Benjamin didn't answer, but Mady answered Diego yes. "Because… you're a friend of Dakota and so… you could always come with us." Benjamin hesitated. "Oh come on, it will be fun."

I'm not a hundred percent sure how it happened, but somehow Diego- with a bit of help from Mady, had Benjamin agree to coming home with us and we were all on our way to our house and Diego shortly explaining to the others who Benjamin and Mady were while he handed out the food and then we all sat down to eat.

Benjamin was distressed from a while into the dinner when we all sat and talked to each other, he said Mady would usually talk so much everybody's ears were bleeding but now she just silently sat and chewed on her French fries oddly quiet and philosophic, and when Benjamin asked her what it was with her she looked to my dad.

"Mr. Lopez?" My dad looked up from his meal and to Mady who sat there with a deep frown in between her eyes. "Did you just say you're a lawyer?" Dad nodded. "So… if you're a lawyer… can you then tell me if calling me a retard is against the law?" Right by the question the rest of the people in the room went silent. Dad seemed shaken and didn't really know what to answer- to call someone a retard was unethical and mean- but not against the law- but from behind Mady Benjamin was signing to dad to answer her yes.

"Why do you want to know that Madison?" Mady laid her head a bit to the side and seemed thoughtful before she answered.

"Because if it is there are loads of people that break the law."

**Evie POV **

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I laid the hairbrush on the bathroom shelf and grabbed a hairband before pulling my hair into a ponytail and then grabbed the sweater I had hung over the shower- curtain's holder and pulled it over the cover- all shorts I was wearing for today that would probably be one of the last days it was warm enough to wear shorts and then walked out to the kitchen.

Jasper had been out on his and Bertie's morning walk already when I woke up and with already having over- slept- or more likely had to pull myself out of bed as this had turned out to be yet another bad morning. But just as I unlocked and opened the bathroom door Jasper came in through the front door and Bertie- the German shepherd came skipping over to me.

"Hey boy." I kneeled, Bertie came skipping over and as soon as he came over to me he stopped and hesitated about what to do next. Then he seemed to sense that today was a bad day and he put his nose against my shoulder and neck to give the comfort he could. "Thank you boy." Bertie licked my cheek in that careful way he'd only do when he sensed someone wasn't well. I most of all just wanted to stay here for the rest of the day but I and Jasper had to catch the bus or we'd be late.

"Are you okay honey?" Dad patted my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. "Are you going to school?" I nodded towards his shoulder and then remembered that I had left my bag in my room so I had to shake his arm off and then ran up the stairs and into my room. Just as I grabbed my bag, the multi- colored lava lamp in the window caught my eye. Despite not really thinking about it- after all it had been there for as long as I could remember. I couldn't help but starting to remembering something about it from when I was younger.

I had always had this lava lamp, and when I was little and mum worked late at her shop and Jasper had already fallen asleep. Dad had come into my room when I couldn't sleep and since he could never remember the storylines in the usual children's stories he used to come up with his own. And there was one he would always remember- and I would always love to hear.

It was about my feelings and the colors in the lava lamp. When the lava was mostly in the bottom- the green part- I wasn't really neither happy nor sad. In the middle where it was blue, and when the lava was mostly there I would be sad, and then in the top where it was red, when it was there I would be happy.

When my depression started I was fifteen. It was when mine and Jasper's aunt- my dad's sister died. I and Aunt Lisa had always been quite close. We had been out downtown one day and then when she was driving home with me in the backseat some other car hit ours. Lisa was killed instantly- but I came out of it without a scratch.

That's when it all had started- when I started realizing she was gone and then came the questionings about- why her and not me and God it had been scary to get in a car again for the first time after the crash and… it just broke me down, piece by piece until there was barely anything left of the one I had been before.

And I had been sitting with that damned lava lamp for hours and hours at the time and turned it upside down to just have it as much as possible in the red part. Of course I had stopped believing in tales like that years and years ago but I just wanted so badly to believe in it because if it was true and I got it as much as possible into the red part then just maybe I could be happy again.

"EVIE" Obviously I had been so lost in my own thoughts I had stopped in the middle of the stairs and had been standing there for a while. "Are you okay?" I nodded, pushed a tress of my fringe out of my eyes and then pulled the shoulder strap of my bag over my head. "Come on then, we've got to leave now or we're going to miss the bus!"

Jasper was almost jumping where he stood and to do it as fast as possible I decided to take the slip- on- sneakers today and just pulled them on and then ran towards the stop. Just barely making it to the bus stop before the bus driver closed the doors. "Thank you for waiting." I panted and then walked after Jasper and sat down on the seats behind the driver.

"You okay?" Jasper asked when I leaned my head backwards and tried to catch my breath. I nodded, actually- it was running or dancing or- just moving that made me feel better than anything else could. The rush of endorphins and the moving just made me forget about everything for a while. And right now about how Jasper would react when he saw he'd made the glee club and I hadn't.

I hadn't told him that I had told Mr. Anderson not to accept me into the glee club. I just wasn't sure about how I would. But if I didn't, he would probably be angry at Mr. Anderson and if I did he would probably be angry with me. Maybe it would be better with me though, I was family, and he could never be angry with me for long.

"Yes… we…." When Jasper eyed through the list of the glee club he hesitated. "… hold on… I made it but you… why didn't you make it? We auditioned together! And the girl who choked on her audition made it, and that spoiled girl made it so why didn't you make it?... I'mma"

"Jasper."

"I'll go and speak to that teacher…. He needs to" Jasper seemed angry and confused.

"Jasper." I took his hand and spoke his name more loudly and strictly. "Mr. Anderson didn't accept me into the glee club but he did it for a reason…" I bit my lip- here we go! "He didn't because I asked him not to." Jasper started protesting, and I knew I had to tell him the whole truth. "I… you were so excited about this and… I didn't want glee to be yet another place where you just have to care for me and I just want it to be somewhere where you can just be you and have fun without having to worry about me."

Jasper sighed and embraced me. "I'm sorry… look! If you want me to have something then I'll join the dance club or something but…. Not the same club as you okay." He nodded and seemed to understand. "Come on, you've got Mr. Jacobson first so you can't be late. You need to go." He nodded again and turned around. His head and shoulders seemed low when he walked through the hallway.

I turned in the other direction but had barely started walking when something knocked me off my feet and fell upon me. "I am so sorry. I gotta stop skating in the hallw…ay" When the boy who had skated through the hallway, fallen and fell upon me looked at me the world suddenly seemed to be standing still.

I blinked as if it would help me to see him more clear although I was already seeing him more clear than what I had ever seen anyone before. His brown eyes, the brown spiked hair. The birth mark on his arm right below the T- shirt sleeve's edge and the rainbow- colored bracelet reading "equality"

"I'm okay…" I said sheepishly. He seemed to wake up and more or less jumped onto his feet and then held out his hand to help me up. "Thank you… ehrm…." I scratched my neck and then lowered my hands to pull my sweater into the right position again. Trying to come up with something to say.

"Benny?" We both looked up when someone- looking almost exactly like the boy in front of me- only with a cockier look. "Did you run someone over with your skateboard again?" He laughed and then continued walking. The boy who was obviously named Benny- although I had a feeling it was something someone called him against his will. Bit his lip and scratched his neck.

"Don't mind about him, he's my twin brother Alex… I'm Bennett by the way and I… I'm so sorry for this. I have got to stop skating in the hallway, this is the second time in only a couple of days I run someone over… oh sorry, now I'm just babbling. What was your name by the way?"

"Evie" I replied. "It's okay but I… I've got a lesson I gotta go now. I backed a few steps, Bennett was still looking towards me when I turned around and walked down the hallway. But I couldn't get the picture of his eyes out of my head. They were just so beautiful! I knew that…. Oh well… falling in love right now might not be the best of ideas, I had so much to think about already and if he was wearing a rainbow- bracelet he probably was gay anyway.

But how was it that one pair of dark- brown eyes could just make me forget about everything for a little while?

**Bradon POV **

"Ugh." I hit the snooze button on my alarm clock yet another time when the signal rang loud through my room and turned to my side and into the wall just as I heard my mum's steps. Lighter than dad's coming closer to the end of the hallway and carefully open the door. "UGH" I placed my hand onto my forehead when she turned the lamp on. "Mum please, I've got a headache."

"Brady… Ben and Alex already left and I'm just about to go to work. If you get yourself finished now you can go with me. Come on, I'll get some painkillers while you get up okay?" I sighed, then turned around again and moaned once again when I felt mum's hand on my forehead. "You haven't got a temperature. Come on now honey."

I sighed and pushed myself up, the headache pounded behind my forehead but I just had to realize that I had to go to school- after all- today was the day I would know if I made the glee club or not- even though we hadn't really gotten to know when the first meeting would be yet.

"I must have left them in the car." Mum told me about her pills for migraines. "I've brought a water bottle. Come on now" I threw my bag over one shoulder and followed my mother outside, followed by my dad who was also going to work as I and mum went to mum's car and dad over to his. And I could still barely open my eyes.

Afterwards I wasn't exactly sure how it happened, but I knew it did when I felt the pain spread through my forehead and something warm running down my forehead. I wasn't exactly sure what had happened- but with the car door so close and seeing the blood that ran down into my eyes it wasn't hard to guess.

"DARN IT" I pressed my hand against my forehead and moved from the car so I wouldn't hit the car again. "F*ck" I sat down on the ground so I wouldn't have the chance to step wrong and break my foot or something like that. "Mum…" I barely opened my eyes slightly leant forward not to get the blood on my shirt, the sight of it instead dripping down on the pavement made my head spin and almost had me fainting. "MUM"

"Oh my. Edward come here." I heard mum coming running when she noticed what had happened and she called out for my dad who came from the other direction. "Brady, Brady are you with me?" Mum shook my shoulder as if she was afraid I had gone unconscious and I moaned and tried to pull away. "Come on honey." Mum's tone went calmer when she saw I was awake and she carefully helped me up from the pavement to get a better look at the cut on my forehead.

"One of us should probably take him to the ER" Dad told mum. "This looks pretty deep it might need stitches. I would take him but I have a very important meeting…" I sat down on the pavement again and tried not to listen to mum and dad discussing who should take me to the emergency room. I wouldn't think it was necessary but was too drowsy to protest and at last dad went to his car and got some tissues that he reached to me while mum helped me up again and I had to get into her car.

I hated waiting. Had always hated and was always going to hate it. Usually waiting I would be able to just zone out and fall asleep for a little while but right now it just hurt too much for me to relax. Mum filled up the papers but I couldn't sit still and I was- despite the pain was over and over again switching in between sitting in one chair until half lying towards my mum and lying across the seats on my other side.

Mum sat still not actually doing much at all once she had filled up the papers and handed them in. I noticed she sat and glanced at every nurse who passed by. And even in my drowsy state I understood she was keeping an eye open after Carole Hudson- Hummel who worked here. I thought it was mostly weird but- it paid off when mum made eye- contact with Carole and she saw us.

I didn't really search for her, but I saw her, and she frowned and then turned around and came walking towards the waiting room. "Bradon? Karen? What happened?" She leaned by me and seemed to study the wound on my forehead when I removed the tissue. "There aren't any doctors available now, come on. I'll examine it as good as I can."

I stood up and pressed the tissue towards my forehead again- it just didn't seem to stop bleeding as I and mum walked after Carole into the ER, through the hallway and into an examine room. "So what happened?" I sat down, but the question did go in through one ear and out through the other so it didn't really hit me I should answer.

"Yeah… how did it happen Brady?" Mum asked softly. "One moment you were on your way to get into the car and the next you were sitting on the pavement." I played mum's words over and over in my head to understand what she had asked- actually- yeah what had happened? I started going back and… no… not a freaking chance!

"I think I…." I scratched my neck confused. "I think I hit the car door in my face." Well… that was way too clumsy but as more and more from what happened before started coming back I realized- that not only was it the only idea I had of what had happened- it must have been what had happened. "I had a headache and I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open and then…"

I silent and then sighed deeply. Come on- I knew I could be a klutz at times- couldn't everybody? But this really took the prize! Carole silently examined the wound and then pulled out a flashlight from her pocket. "I thought it only were doctors that kept those in their pockets!" I mumbled, mostly to have something to say.

"Mostly yeah. But some of us likes to keep these things with us for fast examines like this. If it turns out to be something I think is serious then I'll just get the doctor. Look at the light" Carole lit the flashlight and held it towards my eye first one and then the other. Wow-talk about way to make the headache escalate. "Do you have a headache? Feel nauseas or dizzy?"

"Yes, yes, yes. But I had and did all of that before I hit my head as well so I'm sure it's just a migraine.. or just a headache or whatever I don't care." I forced myself to keep my eyes open and Carole frowned and then stroke my hair slightly. "I wanna go home, and I just want my pyjamas and gummy bear shirt and then not move from my bed before I've had the time to screw up something else."

"I'll get the doctor." Carole said. "I don't believe that this is anything to worry about, but I want his opinion. I'll be back in a minute." She left and mum stepped closer and sat down by me. I lean against her shoulder- I hated hospitals! And this was flipping embarrassing. "So… Bradon this is Dr. Thomas, he'll just do a quick examination."

Dr. Thomas took his own flashlight and lit into my eyes. Then put his hands on my forehead and pulled his glasses on before he silently examined the wound on my forehead. "This does need stitches." I moaned- yet more time at the hospital for me then! Although I was still mostly half asleep I pushed myself up on the bunk and then hugged my legs while Dr. Thomas got out his equipment and just sat still while he stitched up the wound- it wouldn't help with complaining anyway.

"I'll come and check on you when my shift is over today." Carole said and patted my shoulder when me and mum finally were leaving. "No TV, reading, computer or anything else that blinks a lot or need high concentration within the next twenty four hours." I rolled my eyes. "I saw that Bradon. If we thought you had a more severe concussion we'd keep you hooked up on a monitor but it doesn't seem like it so you can go home. But Karen, stay home and keep an eye on him yeah? And if he falls asleep then wake him up every once in a while? And Bradon, if you get more nauseas or dizzy then come right back in here okay?"

I nodded carefully and made mental notes to remember everything Carole had said while I pulled my jacket back on and walked back through the parking lot and towards the car. Mostly I'd change my pyjamas from one night to another but as the pyjamas from tonight still lied on my bed when I came home I more or less threw my clothes off and got into that one almost at the same time as I pulled a shirt- fully printed with gummy bears out of my wardrobe and pulled it on over my PJ's.

I walked out to the living room, I might as well lie down there if mum had been told to keep an eye on me instead of in my room. Mum had heated up chocolate milk of my favorite kind- just like she always used to when I was ill or hurt. But I was half asleep already before I had come into the living room. Where mum sat with the warm cup in her hands and Alex stood in the doorway explaining to her that he'd forgotten to bring his football gear and came back to get it.

The last thing I was awake enough to hear them saying was a short, dry laughter from Alex and then another word that he probably would never stop calling me from now on.

"Klutz!"

**Keagan POV **

"So what I want you to do…" Mr. Jackson- the social studies teacher said. "Is to write an essay, by hand or on a computer or however you want. It doesn't matter how long or short it is but it needs to be about something that you think is wrong with this time's community. It can be anything you can come up with or are interested in. And you need to give some arguments on why it is a problem etc. You've got until next Friday. So..." He was interrupted when the bell rang. "That's it for today. Have a good evening everyone." I put my notebook back in my bag and threw it over my shoulder walking out of the classroom and towards my locker.

With my stuffed schedule as usual Wednesdays I hadn't had a chance to check if I or Bradon made it into the glee club. Now when school was finished for today I finally made it to the bulletin board and eyed through the list. "Yes." I boxed in the air when I spotted my name right under the top of the list and then continued through it and found Bradon's further down.

"Move!" I was well- less gently pushed out of the way of a girl with purple highlights and black clothes and she put her finger by the list of names and pulled it further and further down onto the paper until she stopped by Esme Montague's name. I probably shouldn't have watched her like that but… I just had a feeling it would be relevant.

"Yes!" I didn't really get it. I had seen Esme at the auditions and this wasn't her- and over was Bradon and under Daniel Vincent so none of them was her- obviously! So why would she be so happy… Hold on! I knew who this girl was! Her name was Martina Kessler and she had most of her classes along with- amongst others, Bradon.

But she hadn't auditioned… well this was confusing wasn't it? Oh well- I was just on my way to turn around and mind my own business when Martina turned around and looked at me. "You're Keagan Spencer right?" I nodded. "Well… do you know where I can find this Mr. Blaine Anderson?" I shrugged but well- the answer mostly came to us.

"He's right here!" I heard behind me, span around and saw Mr. Anderson standing there. He started talking to Martina but I backed away and walked back to my locker, only to have Mr. Anderson jogging up to me like a minute later. "Keagan was it right? Yeah… Look that… that gril wants to audition and… and I need at least three others than myself to be judge so… can you do me a huge favor and come to the choir room it will just take five minutes."

"Sure…" I was going to say more but Mr. Anderson started speaking and asked where Bradon was. "He's not here today." He bit his lip and then jogged away again after pointing to the choir room and I walked towards it, quickly followed by Lea- Marie Hale, Seth Anderson- Phillips and at last Mr. Anderson who sat down on the stairs in the back of the room with us others while Martina cleared her throat and started singing.

And there was no way to twist and turn it. Martina was a very good singer, the country song she had chosen was perfect for her voice and she stayed in tune perfectly. "Wow" Mr. Anderson exclaimed when the last toe had run out. "That song is called you hear a song… I heard a song… and it was damn beautiful. Welcome to the glee club."

"So…" Lea- Marie started talking when Martina had gone out and I was on my way to tie my shoelaces and then get to Bradon's house. "Why was I at the bottom of the list?" I more or less jumped up on my feet and then ran out of the choir room. This was a discussion I did not want to be a part of!

"Oh, hello Keagan." Karen Fredericks stepped to the side when she opened the door at the Fredericks' house. "You're here to see Bradon I suppose. He's in the living room." I nodded and walked through the hallway and into the living room where Bradon sat looking as miserable as ever in his shelfies- shirt and checkered pyjama shorts- not to forget the stitches on his forehead.

"I hate my life" He said grumpily. "I can't concentrate and not use anything that blinks, so I can't watch TV, not read, not… do homework" I threw the homework from Mr. Jacobson onto the table in front of him. "I can't do anything… and Alex keep on calling me a…." just as he said that Alex walked by and finished the sentence for him.

"Klutz!"

I smiled sheepishly. Well… what could be better to make time go by then music? I started singing on a song I knew he knew and liked. "Come on Keags, I've got a headache." I sang it louder. "Ugh" I sang even louder for every time he complained, and at last, getting into the refrain he started singing alone and his smile only grew bigger and bigger.

Well… tell me something I wouldn't do to make my best friend smile!

**Playlist  
Martina- You hear a song- Cassadee Pope  
Keagan and Bradon- Piano man- Billy Joel**

**And one note, ehrm. Benjamin's little sister- she's got a portrayer. Do you know MattyBRaps? Well I haven't heard too much of his music but I know that Matty have got a sister named Sarah Grace- and she is the portrayer for Madison. She is just the cutest, sweetest most beautiful little thing ever. **

**And so… to the… the… the…. Whatever the word is that I'm looking for on the poll  
Thirteen people have voted.  
On shared fifth place with one vote each  
Jasper and Sharon  
On shared fourth place with two votes each  
Daniel and Christie  
On shared third place with three votes each  
Charlotte, Lea- Marie, Bradon, Dakota, Esme  
On second place with four votes. The only place that isn't shared!  
Belle  
On shared first place with five votes each  
"Drumroll"  
Seth and Keagan  
So that's the ending…. Whatever… on the poll. I might do another poll closer to sectionals sometimes. Congrats to Seth and Keags and thank you to everyone who voted **

**So, before you go there was just something I wanted to ask. I know this title is kind of not so typical so I wanted to know what you think about the title, the summary and the cover, and if you think it works with the story and with each other?**


	10. I hate my life!

**IMPORTANT NOTE DOWN BELOW **

**In this chapter there is a quite… racist word so to say used. I have used it for a character though, it's none of your characters so you won't have to worry about that. And it was to suit the character and storylines, I AM NOT A RACIST. To me it doesn't matter if you're white, black, mixed, Asian, green, blue or purple, I don't care if you're homo, bi, straight or whatever, and neither whatever religion you have. You could be a freaking dinosaur or glow in the dark if you wanted to but I wouldn't care just as long as you don't go on on the fact that I am not. So please no hate about it or any reports or anything. And if you've got a problem with it, PM or leave it in a review and I'll write it in another way. **

**THERE IS AN IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT A COMPETITON AT THE BOTTOM. **

**Christie POV **

On Wednesday afternoons I always had dialysis. It had been like that in West Bridgewater and somehow Carole had fixed so I would have the same times at Lima memorial. Hurray! I love my life! It didn't feel exactly great to do Monday's and Wednesday's homework- usually half an hour's work or something like that. And the Friday night movie in a hospital bad with hoses and chords and needles and… yep! I officially had the greatest life ever!

Sitting in the bus I looked to my left and saw a guy- about three decimeters taller than me and at least a hundred kilos heavier. Looking to the right I saw out the window and saw grey concrete buildings and trees that have been placed on the side of the sidewalk. Sidewalks and people walking towards wherever.

I hated this town! And I didn't want anyone to get me wrong on that- I loved my aunt, her husband and his son and his husband were alright. The nurses at the hospital were nice- because I had already been there three times since I came here not even a week ago. But so were they at West Bridgewater memorial too.

I hated my dad too. Hated the way he just kicked me out, I hated my mum for letting him do it and my brother Toby for just sitting around and watching it all happen. In fact- I hated everything about my miserable life that was with very high possibility become not very much longer than what it was right now.

I hated being ill, I hated everything about it, the meds, the side effects, the dialysis… and I hated the reason my dad had kicked me out. The fact that I was… "Miss!" The bus driver woke me up from my thoughts and I looked up and saw that except from me and him the bus was empty and we were by the hospital parking lot. "This is the end stop you need to get off if you don't want to go back."

I nodded and felt my cheeks go bright red before I stood up, grabbed my backpack and hurried out of the bus. Carole worked in the ER and I could see the sign hanging over the doors and that was practically the only thing that helped me find through the turns in the parking lot's asphalt to get to the freaking hospital.

"Hello honey." Carole stood right by the reception when I came in. "How did school go today?" I shrugged and climbed up on the chair behind the desk. Carole sighed but I could see that she was trying to hide it. "I'll go get your clothes from my locker. Wait here." I usually switched clothes from a heavy hoodie- about five sizes too big and jeans or sweatpants when I finished school for the day. So also when I came to the hospital, and Carole kept it in her locker in the staff's lounge during the day.

"Here you go" Carole handed me the plastic bag I had packed with things I'd need for this session of dialysis along with a box with a piece of hard bred, an apple and a small pack of juice so I wouldn't like die of blood sugar fall before we had come home and could eat dinner. I guess many would say it wasn't much- but hey! Try eating when your body can only take twenty grams of protein a day- and we'll see how much you'll eat for every meal.

"The nurses upstairs recognize you so you could go there right away. Oh… if you want to I can hold that while you go change, but I won't be able to come with you for yet a while. I'll come up as soon as my shift is over though." I didn't listen much to what Carole said. I had heard it all before, both from her and my mum who would always have something to do before she came to the hospital.

I gave Carole the box again and sneaked into the bathroom to change. What I had brought was a pair of the usual knitted socks and a onesie that my brother had saved all of his money to buy for me last Christmas. Say what you want about Toby- but he was sweet- and he was funny. And maybe that was why he had wanted to give me a onesie printed like a strawberry

"I can take that now." When I came back to Carole I grabbed the box with my food. "I'll see you later." Turning around and walking towards the elevators I could see people pointing and laughing at my onesie but I just glared at them and let it go. It wasn't up to them if I was going to wear something comfortable or something nice and fashionable.

"Well hello!" When I sat in the bed upstairs and looked out the window down at the parking lot outside suddenly someone came into the room and I flinched and then turned around to see an old woman coming in and sitting down on the other bed in the room. And a nurse who came with her and started fixing with the dialysis machine.

"My name is June. What is your name sweetie?"

"Christie. Nice to meet you." My voice was cold and monotone, I didn't want to actually tell her but mostly I just wanted to tell her to shut up so I hoped that my tone would just have her let go by it speaking its own language. But even I knew that saying nice to meet you was just common sense and was more about needing to do it than about wanting to do it or not.

"Christie? Is that short for something? Christine? Christina? Kristen?" I sighed… this must be the millionth time I was answering this question. About a girls' name that my dad had decided they would give me after a boys' name of a man I had never even met- Christopher Hudson, who had apparently been very good friends with my dad.

"No it's just Christie" I answered callously.

"I like your… dress." At last I turned my head to look at her again. "You look like a strawberry! You look so sweet I could just eat you up." June laughed while the nurse put the needle in. "Oh, ow. I felt that." She looked down towards her arm where the nurse had put her needle in and I reached for my book to try and get some peace.

"It's not often we see so young people here" June started talking again. "But I can see you're here for dialysis too." I nodded and sighed. "How old are you?" I answered her fourteen. "Wow. Do you want to know how old I am? I am eighty four. So I'm seventy years old older than you!" I for sure didn't give a damn about any of what she said. But I couldn't concentrate anyway so I laid my book to the side and decided to listen more to what she said.

"Hello" That night when I and Carole came home Carole shouted her usual hello's while I just stood there with my hands in my pockets and the zipper on my anorak pulled up as far as possible. "Oh… hey Ali" Carole's Portuguese waterdog came up and greeted us with licking and whisking tail. Staying extra-long by me when I sat down to untie my shoelaces with a toy in her mouth.

"Burt." Carole said in a moaning tone. "Did you buy one of those squeaky toys for Alice again? You know we will have wool and pieces of fabric from it all over the house before the day is over." Burt came out in the hallway looking mostly like a sad puppy himself as he said sorry like a little kid to Carole who pushed down his cap over his eyes.

"I went by feet and paws to buy food and I brought her inside with me and then she was biting onto that toy and I… you know I don't have the heart to have her let go of it" Burt explained himself. "And she… she just looked at me like that with the toy in her mouth and damn it… It would be easier telling no to Kurt than what it is to say no to her." He smirked just as Blaine came running through the living room door.

"Guys, guys, guys. I have come up with the perfect name for the glee club and Kurt says it's just totally me and I was thinking that you know we now have thirteen pieces of this club, and fourteen with me and the thing is that without one of these people the whole thing would just fall apart and then I heard this song and then I just had it, I just had it…"

"So what is your idea Blaine?" Carole seemed curious and eager to know.

"Every bit of glee" That was the last thing I heard before everything was suddenly just spinning around, I felt the color- or well- the little color there usually was on my face disappear as I reached out and tried to catch the others' attention without having to speak. Because I was afraid that with all of the spinning I was afraid I would throw up if I opened my mouth.

It felt like ages as usual, but probably only lasted for a second or maybe two at the most before my eyelids just got too heavy for me to keep my eyes open and I felt myself falling. But I did cross the thought that this wasn't supposed to happen, not now, not today, not right after dialysis but some other day when I hadn't had it for a while.

And then there was that last thought that always hit me when the symptoms got worse than other times.

"I hate my life!"

**Martina POV **

"MARTI" I woke up when my dad's shouting echoed through or house. "YOU NEED TO WAKE UP NOW. YOU OVER SLEPT" I swore out loud and kicked the covers off- not bothering about folding the covers for the day before I ran over to the wardrobe and pushed the door to it open, quickly choosing clothes for the day before I headed for the bathroom.

I hated over- sleeping, I knew I should have bought a new alarm clock because I knew that the one on my phone wasn't working! "MARTI" Dad shouted again and I, that was already stressed enough got caught in one of the holes in my ripped tights and was more or less thrown down onto the bathroom floor. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I fizzled and tried to pull the tights on from sitting instead. Well this was a great way to get the day started in a bad mood. Dad was usually my best friend, which was a good thing because since my mum died in a car three years ago it was only me and him. But there came times when I just wanted to rip his head of- like when he was trying to hurry me and I fell and hit my head in the toilet bowl- Ew!

Or just make him try and put on ripped tights as fast as possible- with it being very important to actually get the feet through the right holes and not some other hole during the way! I sighed, I didn't in any ways regret the style of clothing I had decided to start wearing, but sometimes I wondered if it wouldn't be easier if I just started wearing jeans, T- shirts, dresses or whatever it was normal people would wear.

I'm done now" I jumped on one leg out of the bathroom pulling a ruffle skirt on over the tights almost making myself fall once again. This time dad caught me before I had lost my balance fully and helped me find the balance again before I grabbed my bag and a banana from the kitchen and ran outside to my car.

School started at half past eight, when I woke up it was ten minutes past eight and driving at a safe paste to McKinley since we lived in the middle of freaking nowhere would take fifteen minutes. So don't me ask me how I managed… but just as Mrs. Montague unlocked the door to the French classroom I ran up and got in the back of the crowd making their way through the door.

"Oh… Miss Kessler." Mrs. Montague smiled. "How nice that you want to join us today." I nodded- after running with everything I had through the hallways I was too out of breath to speak. "Well… no harm done." I walked before her into the classroom and threw my bag on the desk to sit by Esme Montague to get a chance to work together with her.

When I first moved here, six years ago, I and my dad had lived neighbors with the Montague's. I and Katrina- Esme's twin sister had used to spend much time together. Because even though I had taken pretty much every chance there was to spend time with Esme, she had mostly spent her time together with her best friend Sharon Fischer.

I hadn't gotten yet then why I was always doing my best to get Esme's attention. But three years later I had finally understood what it actually was turned out to be love, only to one day later lose my mum in an accident, along with my cat in the same accident and then moving to the other side of town to the middle of nowhere and a safer block.

Safer in more than one way. One- most of the people here were either too young or too old to drive, and two- if we would leave the front door wide open every night for a year we wouldn't have to worry a second about someone coming. And so I and Esme hadn't ended up in the same school again until we came to McKinley.

And… even though when I was little I was…. I was a social person, always trying to meet new friends whether it was in Atlanta where I had spent the first ten years of my life with mum, dad and my cat Gro. Or Lima- where we came when dad quit playing Baseball for the Reds and retired before we moved to Lima to be closer to the rest of the family.

In 2011 when we were moving from Atlanta to Lima I had tried to make mum and dad changed their minds and decide that we would stay in Atlanta where I had my whole life. Now, and the last three years back, I would have done anything to just turn back time and if not moving from Atlanta would mean that my mum had lived then I would have found a way for it to happen.

And within everything I had lost count of all of the problems. First of all my plan to come out to my parents had blown up and it had kept on doing so every time I had tried to tell my dad every time since then- he still didn't know I was a Lesbian. Second I just couldn't let people come close because what if I just lost them again and…. Third… I couldn't hear loud bangs or see blood without…

"AH" I was woken from my thoughts when a shout echoed through the classroom and a loud bang was heard behind me. I flew up on my feet and spun around. Spotting that Seth Phillips- Anderson had been sitting rocking his chair again and so lost balance and fallen backwards. That was what had made the sound and now when Seth himself sat up and pulled a hand forward from holding it on the back of his head and now had blood on his fingers.

Mrs. Montague hurried to Seth and sent him off to the nurse. But I barely knew it. I was following it all with my eyes wide open but…. Even with that the pictures from that terrible day almost three years ago kept on playing on and on behind my eyes. Gro jumping out of the grip in my arms and sneaking out the door when mum walked outside, the loud bang, running outside and blood… loads of blood.

I didn't even know what I was doing while I ignored Mrs. Montague speaking my name and just hurrying towards the door and out in the hallway. Since everyone were on their lessons now the hallway was empty but I still continued to hurry and ran down the stairs on shaky legs until I'd reach the bottom floor that was always empty.

I sunk down on the floor behind the stairs, my hair was already glued to my head with sweat and my breaths short and shallow. But I couldn't have noticed it less. The pictures kept on playing inside my head and with how real it was it was a miracle I didn't start shouting the things that I had been shouting then and let the whole school hear about my meltdown

_.."MUM" I shouted with the loud bang and ran outside, mum's car was pushed up towards a lamppost and the whole front of the car- including the whole front seat seemed to be in about the same place as the back seat. I ran out of the house with dad right in front of me doing half- hearted attempts to make me go back into the house but didn't listen to him. _

"_MUM… GRO" In the grass by the road, right by what had been one of mum's car's tires laid my cat. My very, very best friend through my whole childhood, the one who had always been there when no one else was. Her grey fur was more of red than its natural color, spotted with blood, and I looked towards the car not to have to see it. _

_Dad was just reaching into the car, trying to reach my mum. Or more… what was left of her._

"_MUM"…_

With a sharp intake of breath I returned to reality. My whole body was shaking but my breaths getting deeper and slower. "You're okay" I said to myself. "You're okay." I had to do this- even though I didn't know.

I hated this, I hated having to be there once again every time there was a loud bang or seeing blood. I hated having to live through it again, and again, and again. It must have been at least a thousand times since it actually happened that once. Just as a constant reminder that it was too late, that everything was too late

I would have to find a way to make an end to it.

And there was that thought that never would never leave me alone when things got worse

"I hate my life!"

**Lea- Marie POV **

My last lesson for the day was cancelled, so between math class and the first rehearsal with the glee club I had almost two hours were there was nothing certain going on and I decided to just go swimming since I had all for it in my locker anyway. And it seemed to be that with my body just floating through the water the problems seemed to go as smooth and I could just forget about everything for a while.

And usually I could just keep them all away even for a while after I got out of the water. Stepping up, tying a towel around me, shoving my feet in my flip- flops and walking towards the locker room I managed to press the problems sneaking in away. It actually didn't make itself back until I stood in the showers, with way too cold water running over my head and washing myself when I glanced towards the tattoo on my collar bone.

"Caterina" the neat handwriting read. It was made of my mother's own handwriting- like it had been when she was alive. And that was where all of the problems had begun. It being just I and my dad we had moved from my home in Italy- the only home I had ever known as my own, to Lima, Ohio. Which was like the world's smallest town! I had spent one years with forcing myself out of bed some days, some days I was just done trying and didn't care for it. Dad had met Marion- and then everything had gone on from there.

Dad had asked me to come home right after the first glee- rehearsal today. Said he and Marion had something important to tell me. It wasn't hard for me to guess what it was about. I wasn't stupid for Christ's sake- it would take an idiot to not get by now that I would- within the next few months become a big sister!

But even if I already kind of knew what they wanted to tell me that was so important. I wasn't quite sure I was ready to hear the news yet. And I tried to push the thoughts away yet again as I pulled the silver necklace I had with a silver heart with an engraved L for Lea- Marie, tied my shoelaces, grabbed my bag and walked out into the hallway.

Well this was weird! The whole freaking corridor smelled of… plumbing and it for sure hadn't done that before I went to the swimming pool- and it wasn't me because people all down the hall were walking with scarves and shirts and whatever they had pulled up over their mouths and noses to keep the smell out.

I held my breath not to start gagging by the terrible smell and searched through my bag and found a scarf that I held towards my face while looking around for someone to ask. "Mrs. Montague?" I spotted the French teacher and caught her attention before she had continued through the hall- also she with a scarf held over her mouth and nose. "What's going on? What's that smell?"

"I'm not sure." She almost had to shout it- or she'd have to remove the scarf and the reason she wasn't going to choose that was quite obvious. "We think it's something with the school plumping. I'm not sure when it can be fixed. I've got to go now sweetie." She turned around and walked towards the stairs. Wow- well she just waved me off too rudely didn't she?

I couldn't do much else then to leave my things in my locker, and then walk to sit down outside the glee room. Maybe it would have been a better idea to sit outside but there was no way I would be doing that in this rain so I decided to just sit there on the floor and scroll through my phone on Facebook until the others started arriving.

Belle Jolie and a brown haired boy I didn't recognize came right after me. The boy had brown hair and I noticed him on the way he was the only one I had seen for a long while that didn't try to shot that terrible smell out- actually he didn't seem to be bothered by it at all- there must be something wrong with this guy! Like he totally lacked the sense of smell or something!

Right next came the short, scrawny girl I had seen on Monday before I signed up for the glee club. She sat down on the floor across the hall from me a bit away from Belle and the weird boy and glared around her. And then I noticed that she was the second one I had seen today who didn't seem bothered by the smell. Okay-a boy I could understand but her!

Another brown haired boy with the collar of his distance running jacket pulled up over his face came and sat down almost by me. And not until then I recognized him as the boy- yeah- Jazz or whatever his name was. The one who with his sister was supposed to go first at the auditions- as if!

"Hello!" The new one greeted happily and looked to Belle and her friend. "Hmm… Okay… I'm sorry for just going right on it like this but do you have some superpower- sense- of- smell so your nose filters this bad smell because like that you really shouldn't be able to even breathe in this!" He smiled crooked and let hear a short chuckle.

"Ugh," the first brown- haired boy pretended to moan. "No I haven't got any superpower, but I spent the first five years of my life in a town far, far, far away from here. Where I lived right next to a paper factory that smelled so badly that if the wind was in the right direction it smelled monkey in the whole town. So after all, this isn't too bad!"

"Where is it?"

"It's in Sweden." The answered. "A small town in the middle of nowhere kind of!"

"So you're Swedish?" The short girl looked up at the first boy just as everyone else started gathering and Mr. Hummel- Anderson came walking and unlocked the choir room. "But…" the girl tilted her head backwards to be able to look up at the boy. "Aren't Swedes supposed to be blonde?" The boy turned his head and looked at her. "And blue eyed?"

"Aren't Americans supposed to be fat?" The boy answered and grinned so she would get it was a joke. The girl looked down at her short, bony figure- even with too big sweatpants and hoodie on it was clear that she was barely more than skin and bones. And to me it seemed that the boy had gotten that comment before- and also given that answer before.

"So." Mr. Hummel- Anderson begun when we had all sat down in the back of the choir room, just as a tall, brown- haired boy came jogging into the room. "Don't worry, you're not late." The boy sat down by me and smiled slightly, trying to catch his breath after obviously running the whole way here. "So" Mr. Hummel- Anderson begun again. "Because of these terrible circumstances…." He had had to pull his shirt down from his mouth to speak but held a hand on his nose to show what he meant.

"…I'm going to try to keep it short. But I'm going to announce the first assignment for the glee club. But I will tell more about that later. First of all, I'm going to start with saying my name and a fact about myself, then I'll pass it over to you, and you say your name, your age, grade and a random fact. So… My name is Blaine Hummel- Anderson, I'm twenty three years old and I work here as a director for the glee club and in the library. I used to be in the former glee club that used to be at this school. So…" I tried to make him see me to go next. "Do you want to take it next ehrm… Dakota I think it was?"

The Hispanic boy that Mr. Hummel- Anderson had talked to waited for a bit and then spoke. "My name is Dakota Lopez, I'm fourteen and a freshman. I'm the youngest of five boys in my family- well six if you count my dad. Do you want to go next?"

For every time someone was passing it over I was trying to make myself visible for them. But they always looked past me or in another direction, and after it was Dakota's turn, he looked towards Belle Jolie.

"My name is Belle Jolie. I'm seventeen and a junior. I like designing clothes. Do you want to go next Seth?"

"My name is Seth Anderson- Phillips. I'm sixteen and a sophomore. As some of us were talking about earlier I'm from Sweden, but if I hear one more person ask if Swedes aren't supposed to be blonde I'm going to scream out loud." He joke- glared over the group. "Thank you! Do you want to go next Jasper?"

"My name is Jasper Birch, I'm also fourteen and a freshman. I love my sister, we auditioned together but she didn't make it in! Do you want to go next?"

"My name is Christie Kyemohr. I'm fourteen and a freshman" The short girl's sounded low and hoarse. "And no, Christie isn't short for anything." She leaned back in her chair again and I couldn't help but notice that she looked exhausted. "Oh… do you want to go next?"

"My name is Esme Montague, I'm sixteen and a sophomore. And if someone refers my name to the twilight saga or to Romeo and Juliet I'll make your life a living hell" she grinned so everyone would know she was never going to make reality of that. "Do you want to go next?"

"My name is Martina Kessler, I'm sixteen and a sophomore. And vampire diaries and baseball are the two best things existing on this planet! Do you want to go next?"

"My name is Sharon Fischer, I'm fifteen and a sophomore. And I swear I'm not really too addicted to coffee. Do you want to go next?"

"My name is Charlotte Amato, I'm fifteen and a freshman. I like to wear grey and blue clothes." I looked the girl up and down, she was in fact wearing mostly grey and blue with blue cover- all jeans- shorts, a grey sweater printed with panda's, a grey beanie, several thin bracelets in silver and different shades of blue, along with a white, blue and brown backpack and ragged brown ankle boots. "Do you want to go next" I sighed when yet another time someone else was chosen.

"My name is Daniel Vincent, I'm eighteen and I'm a senior." He scratched his neck and seemed to wonder about what to say. "And I'm so bad at cooking I can't even cook oatmeal without messing it up- no, not even in the microwave." There were a few spread laughs in the room- wow- he must be so bad at cooking. "Do you want to go next?"

I was surprised when I realized that out of everyone that could have, Daniel- the Daniel Vincent- like the school's hottest guy had asked me. And it was there and then that I decided that no matter what it would take- I would have to make Daniel Vincent mine! "Hello- o. Do you want to get on?" I woke up from my thoughts.

"My name is Lea- Marie, I'm fifteen and a sophomore. And in a few years, you and everyone else will know my name." I dreamed away for a bit- I would be big, I would be famous, travel all over the world and… well those were just dreams so far, and most of all I just wanted to get away from this nowhere and home to Italy. "Do you want to go next?"

The boy I had asked had stitches on his forehead, he pushed himself up and wondered for a bit. "My name is Bradon Fredericks, I'm sixteen and a sophomore, and I knew that guy on the picture" he pointed to a plaque on the wall with a picture of a boy- maybe in his late teens. "Keags, you're the only one left. He turned his head and looked to his friend who sat right by."

"Well…" Keags or whatever his name was clapped his hands together and stood up turning to us all. "Half the school seems to know already, so I might as well let you know if you don't. My name is Keagan Spencer, I'm sixteen and a junior. And I was born a girl, but I've known since I was little that I actually was a boy. And if anyone's got a problem with that, come to me, and not to anyone else. Thank you."

Keagan sat down again. The room had fallen all silent. "That…" Jasper Birch started at last. "….Is so awesome!" Keagan chuckled. "No I mean it. That is so cool!" Keagan shook his head, not because he didn't agree but because apparently Jasper was a bit silly- I- I didn't know what to think about anything so it was a good thing when Mr. Hummel- Anderson spoke up again.

"Well that's… that's really awesome to know a little fact about you all. Now I just need to remember who has which fact." He smirked. "So well, the first assignment for this glee club is to get in pairs and do each duet, the song can be about anything. But the only rule is that you need to pair up with someone you don't know too well, you can choose yourself." Blaine sighed.

"One of you will have to do with me, because right now we are thirteen, I'm going to try and make it an equal number for assignments like this but I can't promise anything." Okay- no way I was doing it with a teacher- no way! "Okay, you just choose a partner each and I will fix a bit here." Almost before he had finished the sentence I had turned to Daniel. I needed to do this with him.

I tried to get his attention, but he had already turned away and seemed to have found a partner in Christie Kyemohr. Br*t! I turned back and tried to find someone else and everywhere people were pairing up, Seth and Bradon, saying something that I couldn't understand, Keagan and Jasper, Belle and Charlotte. And before I knew it everyone had a partner.

And during circumstances I was still in the world's worst mood when I came home and threw my shoes off in the hallway, just to hear the sound of Marion- once again throwing up in the bathroom and dad trying to calm her down. "Dad." I pushed the door to the bathroom open. "There was something you wanted to tell me!?"

"Sorry, sorry honey." Dad didn't even look at me or stop to stroke Marion's back. "It will have to be a bit later, maybe another day. I'm sorry." He used all of his attention to Marion again and I pushed myself up from leaning against the wall and started walking upstairs, where I threw my bag in a corner, and myself on the bed.

I knew what was going on! There was no doubt about it and there was no other reason dad would all of a sudden care for Marion- his stupid girlfriend more than what he cared for me. It wasn't fair! I had been here long before she was, she had only just come in. And now our whole lives were going to change because of that!

And there was that thought again, the one that I couldn't keep away on days like this.

"I hate my life!"

**Daniel POV **

I looked around the room when Mr. Hummel- Anderson announced what the first lesson in glee club was. I didn't notice the girl with the olive skin trying to get my attention and turned up to the girl who sat on my left almost behind me. "Hey." I greeted her when I'd gotten her attention, and not until she looked at me I recognized her.

It was the girl that I had seen on the bus three days ago. The one who was so skinny she looked like she was constantly starving, and she was also very short. I noticed the dark spots right under her ear this time too but I shook the weird feeling off and started speaking to her, even though she was mostly glaring at me.

"Hi…. Christie was it right?" She nodded. "Well I'm Daniel, but you might already know that. So maybe… maybe we could do this together since… I don't know you but it would be great getting to know you." Christie shrugged as if she couldn't care less. "Well… is that a yes?" I had to admit that answer confused me.

"Sure if you want." She said callously and I stood up and stepped up so I'd sit right by her just as the others as well started pairing up. I glanced towards Christie and eyed her up and down. I couldn't get where this weird feeling came from. Maybe it was just that she looked like her… yeah that would have to be it!

Most of the others sat with their shirts or scarves pulled up over their mouth and noses, I had pulled the collar up as well but it made it too warm and hard to speak, I wasn't too bothered by smells anyway… But… Christie she didn't do anything like that. And maybe I shouldn't even have noticed, but I still couldn't let the feeling go.

"So… have everyone got a partner because if I've counted this right there should be one person who haven't got one?" He glanced over the group. Well… that was until the girl with the olive skin- I couldn't remember her name spoke up. And Mr. Hummel- Anderson as well as everybody else turned to her.

"Oh come on. I don't care who I'm going to do it with but I am not going to be like some loser and do it with the teacher." The room fell silent again until she spoke up again. "Not a chance, I'm not doing it!" Mr. Hummel- Anderson frowned and scratched his forehead, and then pulled out a paper and a pen from his bag that he laid by him on the piano.

"I'm afraid that if there's no one else for you to do it with so you're stuck with me. So we'll move on." He scratched his neck. "We'll be having two rehearsals a week usual weeks. When sectionals comes closer we'll have more and…" He pulled out another paper and put it next to the other one with another paper. "I want everyone to write the couples they're in on this paper, and their name, cellphone number and e- mail address on that other one. And when everyone's done it I'll just have a few more things to announce and then we will finish for today."

The one in the front line amongst the first stood up first, I waited while Christie walked down and asked Mr. Hummel- Anderson something, he shook his head and then signed to me to come and get our names on the first list. It was when she grabbed the pencil and wrote very slowly I couldn't help but notice that her fingers were all swollen- so swollen it made it hard for her to get a good grip of the pencil.

"Do you need help with that?" I asked, my voice weaker than what I had planned. No, no, no. No it couldn't be it! There would have to be some explanation to everything. I was just being paranoid and saw things that weren't there it couldn't be it- not again! It wouldn't happen twice… there was no way it could!

Christie glared at me, but when Dakota Lopez- who stood by me along with Sharon Fisher made a comment about how slow she was and exclaimed "Get finished sometime this year!" she looked to me and then spelled her name while I wrote it, and right after I wrote mu name right by hers. She didn't sign the other paper and shook her head when I asked if she wanted help with that too, but I noted my name, phone number, and e- mail- address.

"So that's it, I've only got two things more. First of all, our rehearsals will be Tuesday and Thursday, I've checked everyone's teams and everything and most of you have Monday's and late Tuesday's and Thursday's so it should be fine to everyone. And second, as you've probably noticed to call me Mr. Hummel- Anderson is just awfully long!"

"What are we supposed to call you then?" The girl with the olive skin and- as I noticed now, some sort of European accent asked. "You're a teacher?!" Her rude was quite rude, and I wondered how much of Mr… whatever we should call him now's self-control it took to actually just smile at her and continue.

"I was getting to that. And that's actually the thing. I am not your teacher, I am the director of the glee club but I do it for fun and I haven't got any education on being a teacher- I also work in the library. And the thing is- my last name- before I married, was Anderson. And I do not want to be just Mr. Anderson- my dad is Mr. Anderson… So when you guys want to call out for me or whatever…. Just call me Blaine."

"But" Keagan Spencer started. "You're still kind of a teacher… so… well at least to me it would be really weird not calling you mister… so how about Mr. Blaine?" several others- including me nodded agreeing but Mr. Whatever protested. "Mister Blaine, Mister Blaine, Mister Blaine…" Keagan shouted over and over again, stomping both of his feet and hitting his fists towards his knees in the rhythm of the words.

The boy with the stitches on his forehead- I was terrible on remembering names did the same, Mr. Whatever shook his head but then I and the girl in the blue and grey clothes got along too, and when Dakota and Seth did the same afterwards, and soon everyone was doing it. "OKAY, OKAY." Mr. Blaine shouted at last. "Mr. Blaine is okay, but call me just Blaine if you want to and I hear someone say Mr. Hummel- Anderson and they're suspended from the glee club."

Everyone had been voting on Mr. Blaine at last, sitting stomping their feet and hitting their fists towards their knees. But when I turned my head and looked towards the scrawny girl on my left, she was still sitting with the hoodie wrapped around her as if she was cold, just staring emptily in front of her as if she couldn't give a damn about anything around her.

"So that's it for today." Mr. Blaine started talking again and with a growing worried gut- feeling inside of me I had to turn back to him. "I'll e- mail and text- message you all tonight so you've all got my e-mail and cellphone. I want you to answer it all so I know I've gotten the right ones. Ehrm… how many here have got Facebook" everyone except for me raised their hands.

"Daniel… have you been thinking about getting one or so?" I shrugged… I haven't really thought about it but I had nothing against it. "Oh well… I'll start a group for us so it'll be easy to you all at once when I need. Daniel can you at least consider getting one" I nodded. "Thank you. So that's it… off you go. Next rehearsal is Tuesday at four but you will have to rehearse a bit on your own throughout the weekend and so. Bye."

I stood up and walked down onto the floor, but Christie had started talking to Mr. Blaine about something and I didn't want to interrupt. On top of it all my basketball practice started in twenty minutes so I'd have to get changed and everything and I walked down to my locker and got my basketball and my bag just as Mr. Blaine and Christie came walking down the hallway and I couldn't help but hear them.

"This smell is getting really bad… I hope they can fix it soon or I guess they will have to close the school down because everyone gets sick because of the smell." Blaine let hear a short chuckle- I didn't care much for it. But it was Christie's reply that hit me harder than the train, and I just couldn't breathe.

"I can't really feel neither smells nor tastes as I should. I barely smell it. Is this where I'm happy I've got renal?" I tried to seem as if I haven't heard or anything but it felt as if someone had put a belt tightly around my chest and I felt the other symptoms of a full- blown panic attack coming on and didn't really know what to do.

I wasn't sure about how I got there, but it was a miracle I hadn't thrown up, fainted or both until I sat on the bench by the wall in gym and barely noticed Coach Michaelson coming up to me, obviously not noticing my current state- or just didn't care about it. And maybe it was best that way.

"Dan." I woke up from my thoughts. "You'll need to go change, you know I don't let anyone play in jeans and converse etc." I nodded. "Well come on then… you know that new guy right." I nodded. "Yeah Leigh or whatever." I nodded- I had met that guy- Liam Linnel- he was nice, a good guy and good at basketball. "Yeah… if you don't come to practice and everything, you know that guy's going to shine over you. And you can't let a n***er do that can you?"

The word and the tone when coach said it had me looking up. I didn't have anything against either white, black, mixed, Asians or anything else- but obviously coach did. And I'd better do as he said or I would be kicked out of the team any time so I agreed against my will. But even though what he said I knew I couldn't train today.

"Coach" I switched subject. "I'm sorry but… I feel terrible, I think I have a migraine coming on and I'd like to get home while I can still stand on my feet. I've got to go home." I stood up without waiting for an answer and even though I knew the risk I ignored coach's shouts after me- I just had to get home.

Walking through the hallway I barely noticed the music coming from the choir room with Mr. Blaine standing in the doorway. But it didn't hit me that I maybe should have stopped to listen or whatever. I just needed to get home and that as fast as possible.

Well whatever home was! When the wheels of my bike finally rolled up on our driveway and I stumbled up the porch steps and fumbled with the key it was going to an empty house to at last, as the door closed behind me just collapse in the hallway. My knees buckled under me and for a long while I just lied there without having anything to do about it.

And there was that thought, the one that was always there when I was reminded of everything I had tried so hard to suppress.

"I hate my life!"

**The song Blaine gets every bit of glee from- with every bit of me- Kevin Borg **

**June is portrayed by June Squibb. Like I said earlier Alice is portrayed by my Yippie. **

**And if anyone wonders, no I'm not from the town that Seth is talking about **

**COMPETITION ABOUT GLEE CLUB NAME DOWN BELOW **

**So, as you probably saw the name for the glee club is a bit… well it isn't that good. So I've decided that further into the story Blaine will change his mind and decide that "Every bit of glee" will be something else and come up with anything. So I've decided to make it a contest, I want each and every one of you to send in something that could be used as the name of the glee club- like New Directions or Vocal Adrenalines but nothing already taken. The ones that aren't chosen for this glee club will possibly be names of glee club at sectionals etc. There are just a few rules- that will be very easy to follow, read them carefully. **

**Nothing that's already taken on the show**

**Send it in a PM in a new conversation, if you want to send in more then use the same conversation **

**You can send in as many names as you want. **

**I will keep it open for as long as I need**

**No hate if I don't choose yours**

**The most important rules-be creative and have fun. **


	11. Stay for dinner?

**So. As it said in the A/N that was up earlier the competition about the new glee club's name is closed and finished. I have PM'd everyone who applied and told them either good or bad news. And so… the one who got the good news was…. **

"**drumroll"…**

**... and now it's time for commercial…**

**No I'm just kidding….**

"**drumroll"….**

**LocalXmusicXjellybeanX "applause" congratulations. I hope I do it well**

**And what name it was will come out in the chapter **

**Benjamin POV **

When the last lesson ended I had to run through the roads to Mady's kindergarten three blocks away and get her from there. Then, to do it as fast as possible I lifted her up to sit on my back and sprinted down the road as fast as I could with her there, still missing the bus home with only a few meters.

"Oh damn." I let Mady down onto the asphalt again. "Well… next goes in an hour. Do you want to go to my school instead and we can sit there and play go fish until the bus is here?" Mady nodded, she didn't seem sad that we had missed it. Knowing her right I could guess that she was only happy that I had suggested go fish.

I took Mady's hand and walked with her over the parking lot and into my school. "See Mady? This is where I go to school now!" I had switched schools over the summer because of some rumors spreading about me and my family. In May we had moved to a new house in a new part of Lima, mum had to travel three hours a day to get to work and I and Mady didn't go to school in the same building anymore but it was better than going around hearing stuff about what my parents were or didn't were at least.

I got the card game in my locker and then sat down on a bench in the hallway where I could spread out the cards in between us and passed out the cards giving us five each. I lost track of time sitting there. As usual over and over again losing to my sister- there was absolutely nothing fair in how lucky she was in card games.

"Hello!" After a little while I heard the glee club coming out of the choir room behind me and Dakota came and greeted us. "Hey Mady. What gives us the pleasure for this royal visit?" Mady laughed at Dakota's words and I explained to him. "Oh, okay. I can't help you but if you want you can come home to mine again and wait there you can."

"Thank you but no thank you." I replied. "We've only got about half of the time to wait left anyway. I smiled when I saw Mady pull out for cards from her hands and added it to her group of points. "And I actually enjoy just spending time with Mady like this." Dakota nodded, said goodbye and then walked down the hallway while Mady beat me in go fish- again!

"Oh. I'm not so sure I want to play with you anymore when you just win all the time." I joked. "What are you looking at Mady?" Mady was leaning to the side looking at something behind my back. When I turned around and watched I noticed the door to the choir room. "That's the choir room I believe. It's where the new glee club have their meetings. There wasn't anything in there for several years I think before now when this guy from the library put up a new sing and dance club."

"There's a piano in there Benny!" She said, she didn't say it out loud but with the way she was saying it and the way she looked at me with those blue eyes I knew that she wanted me to take her, go in there and play for her. I hesitated- I wasn't so sure you were actually allowed to just go in there and play if you weren't a part of the glee club.

"Can you play me the song about that I'm beautiful?" Mady asked with her best please- do- that- for- me- voice. "Pretty please Benny." She pushed out her bottom lip and laid her head to the side, with her best puppy eyes and there probably wasn't any chance for me to tell her no, and even though I knew that I didn't gave her a straight answer yet. But when I saw the look in her eyes behind the puppy- eyes I knew what this was about.

"Mady?" I twisted a tress of her hair around my fingers and pulled it behind her ear for it not to get in her eyes. "Did someone at school call you something bad again? Did they call you ugly?" Mady didn't react for a few seconds before she nodded and now tears were shining in her eyes- I hated whoever had caused that.

"Come on then." I lifted Mady up on my hip. "I'll play to you. But don't listen to those bad guys okay? You are the most beautiful person I know, inside and out and outside and in. And you know I love you, and so does mum and dad." I felt the usual feeling as if someone had stabbed my heart at mentioning dad to Mady.

I sat down on the piano chair and lifted Mady down to sit next to me lifting the lock of the piano and lying my hands on the keys. "You're insecure…." I started playing. I had my slow, acoustic version of a song we both liked it. It was Mady's favorite band, I was not as obsessed with them as her but they were okay.

While I played I didn't notice that someone came into the room and stood behind us. I just continued playing the whole song with Mady sitting next to me and my voice echoing through the room along with the tones of the piano.

"Wow…" I jumped when someone behind me spoke and clapped his hands when I was done. "That was really good…" He sat down on a rolling chair and kicked himself over to sit by the piano and talk to me and Mady. "You love singing I can see!" I nodded. "I'm sorry for just barging in like this but… I would need another member in the glee club to make it an even number for you know- duets and stuff… would you consider joining it?"

"I'm very happy that you would think that Mr. But… I've already got enough on my plate without that."

"But Benny." Mady spoke up. "You should be in the glee club, you love singing and dancing and you always talk about that you wish you could do it more. And you would be the best on a stage." I sighed. "Come on Benny. You want to I know it." I sighed.

"I need to get my sister after school every day I told the guy who told me his name was Blaine and I was free to call him that. "I'm not so sure about this…" I should have known Mady would find a way to talk me into it.

"Can't I be here with you? Can't I Mr. Blaine?" Blaine nodded and assured me that she would be able to do that as long as she didn't interrupt our rehearsals. "And I won't do that. Please Benny, I'll be proud of you, and mum and dad will be so proud of you… And Benny… the boy you have got a crush on is in the glee club" I sighed- okay- she had done it again!

"Well" I began. "Why not give it a try? I can have some coloring books and toys in my locker at day that you will be able to play with if you're here okay? Would that be my audition what I just did or do you want me to do it again?" Blaine grimaced slightly and seemed to be wondering about how to do this.

It turned out to be so that everyone needed to audition in front of at least four people. And in some way it was decided that I and Mady would go with him home so I could audition in front of him, his husband and his parents like most of the others had done.

"Hello." When we stepped over the threshold a woman- possibly in her fifties came out in the hallway. "What's gives us the pleasure of this visit?" Blaine explained to her what was going and she kneeled in front of my sister first. "Hello honey, what is your name?" Mady seemed a bit shy and hide behind my leg.

"Hey, what's up with you?" I asked and patted her back. "You're never shy!" That actually wasn't true- even Mady was shy at first sometimes. "Well… do you want me to tell her your name?" Mady nodded towards my leg. "Well ma'am. I'm Benjamin Heedie, this is my sister Mady. Blaine brought us here so I could do a rule- right audition for the glee club."

"Oh, honey please just call me Carole. People calling me ma'am makes me feel older than my own grandmother- which I almost am by the way." I smiled, but as usual as for bad jokes Mady laughed so she almost choke and I stroke her hair and walked into a living room where Blaine showed me into and then went off to get his father in law and husband.

"Whoa." In the living room we were barely into the room when we were greeted by a brown fur- ball that came jumping up first on me then on Mady. I pushed her away but Mady was smaller and the dog was almost as tall as her standing on her back legs and stretching her front paws up she scratched Mady in the face with her claws.

"OW." Mady jumped away and hid behind me. I lifted her up and pushed away the dog. "Benny the dog hurt me." She whimpered, almost crying again. There was a long, red mark on the side of her face but as I checked it nothing seemed to be bleeding and the dog had been forced into the kitchen.

"I'm so sorry honey. Alice is so happy, she just wants to play with you." Mady nodded and leaned her head against my shoulder. "Did she hurt you much?" Mady shook her head just as the kitchen door opened and a man- probably as well somewhere in his fifties came into the room by the dog jumping and running and wanting attention. Carole sighed.

"Alice… calm down." She said strictly. "Here Mady, do you want to try and play with her? Mady nodded and took the toy Carole reached, when Alice started pulling I had to hold onto Mady when Alice started pulling the toy, and didn't realize that Carole had gotten up her cellphone and shot a photo of us three.

"Okay, so let's get to the audition." Blaine said coming into the room with another man about the same age with pale skin and chestnut colored hair. "Do you want to start Benjamin, here Mady, do you want to come and sit with us in the sofa?" Mady nodded and climbed up in the sofa next to Carole. "Oh I like your bracelet."

"I like my bracelet too" Mady studied the rainbow- colored bracelet she had made out of loom bands. "I can make one for you too. Benny's got one too because he's happy and some people doesn't want him to be happy" It was confusing for Mady when one thing meant two or more things- for her- gay meant happy.

"Oh you can?" Blaine asked and Mady nodded happily. "I would love one! What do you make them with?" Mady pulled off her Disney princesses backpack and pulled out a box with loombands. "Oh that's really fascinating"

"Don't open that box in here Mady. And I'm Gay Mady, gay… Oh well… I'm happy too." I sat down on the piano chair and saw the new girl from school come and sit down in the stairs just as I started with the first few notes, playing the same song as before- for the same person as before.

When I was playing, no matter for who it was, whether if I was playing guitar or the piano like this or just singing to the radio or by myself. I would get this feeling that I couldn't get doing anything else. And it was not what others was talking about that every problems seemed to disappear. It was more about that the problems were there, every time in my life when I had been singing for an important reason.

Singing with my dad and his friends, them drinking what I used to call bad drinks, and me drinking cola. Singing to my new- born sister to let her know that she was perfect even if the doctors said there was something wrong with her. In the hospital a year ago when dad was in a coma and no one knew what else to do.

They didn't actually make sense, but music gave me a chance to go through them all in a way that wasn't as hard as when I wasn't fixing with my music. And it just felt great, as if I was closer to it all- including closer to my dad than I was at other times.

"That is really good." Blaine said when I had let the last tone rang out. "Benjamin whatever your middle name is Heedie. Welcome to the glee club with no name yet." I smiled and laughed. Then looked to Mady who was sitting scratching the inside of Alice's ears at both side as Burt Hummel showed her to do and laughed slightly at her excitement for it.

"Benjamin." I turned around when I heard Carole's voice. "Would you two like to stay for dinner? It turns out I have made too much food for just the five of us again so it's either that or we will be eating chicken pie for every meal for days." I laughed, but hesitated about what to answer.

"I wouldn't want to be a burd…"

"Shush honey, you're not a burden. And if you were I wouldn't have brought it up." I scratched my neck- I couldn't help but feel that it would be nice to have a home- cooked meal for once for dinner instead of eggs, oatmeal or Portillo's as usual.

"Benny!" Mady started. "I think you should say yes, if I have to eat another egg for dinner then I will scream out loud. Is there a bathroom here somewhere?" Blaine got up and took her hand to show her to the bathroom. "Benny… I will scream!" I laughed- wasn't she cute my sister anyway?

"Well if you're sure. Then why not?"

"Benny?" Mady began when we were eating. "Will mummy be home when we come home?" I looked away and tried to seem like I didn't actually care about her questions- I knew which one was coming next and it ripped my heart out and stomped on it every time she asked- and I absolutely hated the answer I had to give my sister.

"No Mads, she have to work."

"Will daddy be home then?" I almost chocked on a piece of chicken.

"No Mady. Daddy's away on a long trip remember?" Mady nodded and hung her head, I hated the way I almost felt like I had to say more, before she asked me when he would come home and I wouldn't know what to answer.

Because how was I supposed to look my sister in the eyes and tell her that daddy wasn't going to come back?

**Keagan POV **

"SERIOUSLY?" I and Bradon heard Lea- Marie Hale who stood with Mr. Blaine outside the choir room on Friday afternoon. "Okay, the only thing that would have been worse than being like a nerd doing a duet with a teacher was Horrid Heedie, that son of the flipping stripper or whatever she is- come on. Rumors about him are all over town, if I do it with him they're going to find things about me as well."

"Poor guy." I continued walking with Bradon. "I don't get why she have to act like that to everyone. Can't she just be like everyone else and be happy with whatever she gets. And besides, I know that Benjamin a little- and I'd have it with him a hundred times rather than I would have it with her once."

"Well. She for sure is really spoilt." Bradon put his book in his bag. "Sorry… I wasn't listening really… Well… we've been back in school for a little while so how is it going?" I wondered for a bit, well. Most of it were going well. But there was that one essay!

"So we have one more week to work on that assignment Mr. Jackson gave us." I turned around to walk backwards and look at my best friend Bradon while we were talking. "And it's been several days and I still have no idea about what to write about. It's so annoying, my creativity is just standing still…. Don't laugh Bradon, it's not you who wants to write this stupid essay." I pouted like a little child.

"Why don't just write about what it's like living like a transgender in today's community?" Bradon raised an eyebrow at me. Ugh Bradon's so boring sometimes. Writing about that would be what everyone expected of me- I just wanted to do something else and something that they didn't expect. And that's what I told Bradon.

"We need to pass town going home." I told Bradon when we left the school. "I haven't bought candy for tonight yet." Bradon laughed again. "What, there's nothing funny with my movie- and- loads- of- candy- Friday- night- tradition." I turned around again and walked next to Bradon instead of in front of him, scared of walking into something if I continued walking backwards.

"I gotta pick something up at the post for my mum first." I nodded at Bradon. "We can walk there first right? I think it closes soon." I nodded, and walked up at the street. "Or wait. You go that way, I'll go this way, and then we'll meet here in fifteen minutes." I nodded, and jogged down the road towards the supermarket.

Passing around the corner I saw a truck standing on the side of the road. I didn't care much for it, but almost right away I saw a pair of legs. Right at the pavement there was a stair up to the supermarket and the books' store. But that was always there so I didn't care for that- no what I cared about was what I could see behind the truck.

I first though there was someone sitting on the stair because I only saw the legs, the rest of the body of the person was hidden behind the truck. Then I realized that if the person was just sitting- she or he was sitting in a real uncomfortable way.

I started walking a little faster to come there sooner and when I was close enough to look past the truck's back I could see it was a woman, possible around seventy years old, she laid with her arm at the highest stair, holding her body up and with her legs down on the lowest and the ground below. I looked up and watched people just passing by- how long had she been lying here?

I looked to the woman- she obviously had fallen. I looked around, why was no one helping her? She must have been lying here before I came up on the main street and God knows how long before that. I looked up again. There were people passing by, glancing at the old woman that silently laid looking around her. Maybe she was just sitting like that…

I looked at her, she met my eyes and continued meeting them all the while, while I walked by. "Maybe someone else is going to help" I thought almost walking by. "Oh come on Keagan, don't just leave it be. You're not better than anyone else just walking by. What's the worst that could happen? Worse than you beating yourself up for not doing anything?"

At last, almost having walked past her I turned around and bent down by her. "Is everything alright?"

"I don't know."

"Do you need help?"

"Oh… you shall not help me. You who are such a handsome young man." I couldn't help but smile.

"Does it hurt anywhere?" I asked and pulled the backpack over both of my shoulders. I was trying to decide if it would be the best to call an ambulance, maybe she was seriously hurt!

"I'm not so sure. I've fallen."

"Do you think you can get up if I'm helping you." The woman didn't look as if she was sure about that. "Well it's worth a try isn't it? Come on." I stepped up on the stairs to get behind her and get a good grip under her arms so I could support her.

"Do you guys need some help?" Just as the woman turned around a group of three people came from the resturant on the other side of the road. I looked to the woman, she answered them no. They walked away but I saw them turn around and glance at us while they walked down the road as if they wanted to check if they should help or not.

"So are you alright then?" I asked when she was up and she nodded. "Okay…" I looked to my watch- Bradon would already be waiting for me now but I had something else on my mind and ran down the street and to the corner where Bradon was waiting. "Bradon, Bradon. Can I come home with you at first? I have got an idea for this essay and I need to write it as soon as possible before I've forgotten about it again."

Bradon barely had the time to answer me yes before I grabbed his shirt and started running down the street. Bradon lived closer to town than what I did but it still felt like ages before I and Bradon- him more out of breath than what I was ran up on the Fredericks' driveway and up to their house. Bradon headed for the showers but I threw myself down by the desk in Bradon's room and grabbed the first empty paper and pen I found and started writing.

I loved these moments of just… when I didn't even had to think about what I was writing and all the arguments just seemed to get on the paper by themselves, Bradon had to sit waiting for a long while after coming out from the shower but still it only felt like ten minutes before I wrote the ending and I eyed through it

_Today I was out on town. I came up on the main street by the bus station. And almost right away something caught my eye. Behind a truck, there is someone sitting or lying on the porch steps outside the supermarket. _

_When I came closer can see the person is a woman, she's old. About seventy- something. She is lyin with her legs on the pavement under the stairs and is holding herself up with her arm towards the highest stair. She wasn't able to get up by herself and I- like any other person with a conscience and a bit of common sense, walked over there and asked her if she needed help. _

_During the few minutes I stood there and helped her there came a group on three people and wondered if we needed help. When the woman said it wasn't needed they still stood right by and kept an eye on us. But the rest of all people then? Because as I said this was happening on the main street- it cannot be empty can it? _

_Yeah, the rest of all of the people they pass by. Barely even look at me and the woman and if they do they are probably staring. They pretend not to hear, keep on hurrying towards one for me unknown goal. They have obviously been both blind and deaf for people's need of help and suffering of the influence of today's community. And are pretending as if they neither see nor hear. _

_During the time I started helping this woman. She said in the hoarse tone that old people often has that- "You shall not help me. You who are such handsome man." I'm mentioning this not because I want someone to agree or not. But it is by these kind of compliments that you kind of get that what you're doing actually means something. _

_And wouldn't you want to feel that what you just did actually meant something. For one single person. Instead of just acting so damaged by today's community and only concentrate on yourself and your goal, you can do a small, fast but oh so meaningful act. I know what I would choose_

_What will you choose? _

I looked up and handed it to Bradon. He read through it and then looked up at me. "You know Keags… this is actually good. Did you really do this by the way? I mean helping that woman?" I nodded. "So that's why you didn't have any Friday candy when we met!" I nodded and now when the essay was written I hung my head and acted as if I was really sad over that.

"Bradon… I'm ordering Chinese for dinner. Look at the menu and decide what you want. Oh hey Keagan." I greeted her. "Do you want to stay for dinner too?" I didn't have the time to answer- or even make up my mind before she continued. "You could ask your dad to come too. The more the merrier and after all it's only Friday dinner one time a week."

"Okay…" I said at last. "But I'm paying for my own food. I'll call my dad." Alma would do for a couple of extra hours before I came to take care of her for today. "Oh hey dad…" I started talking to my dad watching Bradon riffling through the menu. Even though we probably both knew already what he was going to choose- he always chose the same thing.

"And, surprise, surprise… I'm going to go with fried chicken." He handed me the menu and eyed through the menu while I said goodbye to my dad. "I suppose, that as usual you will be a bit more daring than me and go with something new?" I nodded and continued reading one crazy thing after the other out loud to Bradon.

"Hello Princess." Alex came into the room and I sighed at his usual nickname for me- and I absolutely hated the nickname. "Have you changed your body yet?" I sighed- I must have explained a thousand times that one, I was going to do it but two, I'd have to turn eighteen first. So instead of saying it again I sighed and continued reading the menu and didn't even look up when Alex left the room.

"So, Bradon…" I looked up when he had left. "Maybe I'll go with something completely crazy like fried octopus!"

**Sharon POV **

"Alex. I need to talk to you." I said, not being able to stop walking back and forth. "Do you remember… what we did? Well. It was a mistake. And usually, mistakes have consequences, well. This one have a huge consequence. I think you can guess what thinking about what we did that night. But I need to tell you, there is no way to tell you that will be easier than the other. So I'm just going to say it… I'm pre… UGH"

I threw myself down on my bed and stared up in the ceiling, pulling my beanie off and then my hand through my short, red hair. I wasn't sure for how long I laid like that, glancing up at the numbers which the digital alarm clock lit up in the ceiling, it was Friday afternoon and even though I mostly would be spending my Friday afternoons with loads of crisps, nice dinner with mum and my aunt and a movie. I didn't really feel like doing that anyway- which was good since this was the only time this week Dakota Lopez had the time to rehearse- and we needed to rehearse both this week and next if we were going to have a duet ready in time.

I sighed, mum came into the room and wondered if I wanted to call the doctor's myself for a checkup just to be sure that I actually was pregnant and it wasn't just some scare with a messed up test. I shook my head- she could call, she was better with talking on the phone than what I was- I'd only lose my thread and get stressed out and then mess it all up anyways. So it was probably the best she did it.

The clock kept on going, I heard mum talking out in the kitchen, the clock passed five and the time that Dakota had said he would come. It passed ten minutes past, twenty. And at last at half past five I heard a knock on the door. Mum was still talking on the phone and for some reason she sounded annoyed, so I pushed myself up and walked out in the hallway.

"Hey." Dakota stood out on the porch steps. "I know I'm late, not a big deal. Can we just get on with this now?" I nodded and stepped away from the door so he could step inside. I knew that the cardigan I wore was slouchy and that didn't actually matter because the fact that I was pregnant wasn't showing yet- at least not to anyone who didn't know already.

But I still couldn't help to make sure that the shirt was hanging on my shoulders in the just right way so even if I would have gotten bigger so much it was actually visible even if people didn't actually know… it would all be covered by the over- sized cardigan. Dakota had come in and stood in the hallway looking around.

"So are we just going to stand out here in the hallway or?" He asked quite rudely. I shook my head and showed him down the hallway and into my room where I sat down on my bed and showed Dakota to sit down in my desk chair where he sat down and put his backpack on the floor next the chair.

"I…" I began talking, but was interrupted when the door to my room opened and mum came in without knocking. "Mum…" I tried telling her not to just start talking because I could guess what it was but she didn't listen and started talking straight away.

"Ugh, the doctor have got some guy who is at a work experience at his. And I tried to tell him that we would rather have it just being him. But he just wouldn't let him and told that his student… some guy named Diego Lopez… and so you will be going to him no matter how much I tried to convince the doctor that he should take…"

"MUM" I shouted and stood up, spinning her around so she saw Dakota who sat by my desk. His mouth had dropped open and he sat and looked from me, to mum, to me, to mum, to me… and by the look in his eyes he was thinking really hard and even though none of us had mentioned why I was going to the doctors'… I might still be able to fix this.

Of course it hadn't crossed my mind that the doctor's student had the same last name as Dakota. "Mum… out!" Without another word I forced mum to spin around again and pushed her outside throwing my door closed after her. "It… it's just for a checkup." I stuttered. "I have been having a bit of these headaches lately and we just want to check it up so it's nothing serious."

"Diego Lopez is my brother." Dakota looked… well in fact he almost looked disgusted. "And he's on a work experience… to become and OBGYN. Oh Holey F*CK" He seemed to realize something and stood up and looked out my window with hands behind his head. "Mrs. Fischer... is there any chance you could leave me and Sharon alone for a moment. I need to talk to her alone!"

Mum squeezed my hand with hers and then walked out of my room. "Her name is Daniels. Fischer is my dad's name." I said, mostly to just have anything to talk about and because it was a habit. "Dakota…. What are you doing?" He had kneeled down and opened his backpack, pouring out what was in it over my bedroom floor.

"I found… I found a pregnancy test. It's positive and I found it in school." He grabbed a rolled up plastic bag. "It's yours isn't it?" I thought back to looking for if the corner. I nodded and he handed me the bag that I felt had the test in it. I didn't exactly know what to do with it. So I put it in one of the drawers of my desk and pushed it as far in as possible.

"Who's the father?" Dakota asked. I hesitated. I barely knew this guy he didn't really have anything to do with who I had had sex and ended up like this with! "Okay… okay… you don't have to tell me! Does he know?" I hesitated again, then shook my head just slightly at his question. "How do you think he's going to react?" I shrugged, then slumped down on my bed and answered for real.

"I don't know. I'm pretty sure that he'll just cut contact and not want anything to do with it." I wasn't so sure why I told him. But as usual I freaking spoke before I thought. "That's why I'm so nervous of telling him, and besides I didn't know myself until just a few days ago." The room fell silent for a while, then Dakota spoke again.

"I want to know how he reacts." I frowned and looked up at him- he didn't really have anything to do with this. "And if it's so that he doesn't want anything to do with this. Then I'll be here… and I will care for this baby, and for you of course. As if I was the father and the baby was mine." I frowned again- well he was a bit creepy wasn't he?

"I know you think I'm creepy for doing this when we barely know each other. But I grew up in a household with one parent. And even if I have had an awesome childhood and I love my dad and all of my brothers. Every child needs one male and one female "Adult" at least to turn to when it's needed." I couldn't help but smile. Say what you want about Dakota- but he could be sweet couldn't he?

I heard a slight knock on the door and mum opened it. "I know this is a bad time, but dinner's finished and we need to eat before it's gotten cold. Dakota would you like to stay? We're having salmon!" Dakota suddenly looked afraid and looked up at my mum grabbing his backpack and throwing things into it again.

"I'm really sorry Mrs. Fisch… Daniels… But I'm very, very, very allergic to fish. And I need to leave now before my throat starts closing up from smelling it. Goodbye." He hurried out of my room and then ran down the hallway.

"Well… at least we're lucky I told him…" Mum said and came down to sit by me and took my hand. "I heard what he said. He's a good guy. But be careful okay honey? Until you know him better at least? And you also need to tell Alex. Because he is not a good guy and it will only get worse the longer you tell him."

**Carole POV **

"…And here." I handed Blaine the money. "And seriously, don't forget the bread for Christie. And do not try and buy some other kind which is cheaper or whatever. Because now when Christie's living here we need that even though it's quite expensive to actually be able to feed her dinner" I gave him the grocery list. "Are you sure it's okay. Shouldn't I come with you anyway?" Blaine shook his head and grabbed his jacket.

"I'm fine!" Blaine moaned about me. "I'll call if I've got some questions or anything. Don't worry! Bye." I backed towards the kitchen door when Blaine left and then just walked back into the kitchen. I knew the boys were sometimes by it. But with both Kurt, Blaine and now also Christie in the house it was kind of nice to have someone to fuss over again.

"Oh good morning honey." I greeted when Kurt came into the kitchen. "Are you okay? It's not like you to sleep in, especially since I've already had the time to send off Blaine to the grocery store." Kurt nodded and opened the cupboard to get what he needed for his breakfast. "Which he definitely shouldn't be back for already- and especially not without those groceries!"

I continued- mostly jokily when Blaine came walking down the driveway which must have been barely five minutes since he left. "Carole." He stated when he came in and he had a weird expression. "Yes, yes, I know. I'm sorry I'll go back to the store and get those thing but… I met Bradon and his mum outside the grocery store and we started talking and…"

"And what?" Blaine hadn't finished the sentence.

"And it came out that I'm still wondering about the name for the glee club and Bradon… he came up with one and it's just… It's just perfect and…. Wow! But… But I want your approval to it." I frowned- why would he need that? And that's what I asked him. "Well… Bradon had come up with the idea with someone who… I'd like to call it Finn's Army"

"Honey." I said calmly to Blaine who seemed nervous as if I would get angry at him for this. "That sounds like a wonderful name for your glee club but are you sure? After all this glee club is yours and not his." Christie stood by the table and had been standing with her back against us but now turned around and looked first to me and then to Blaine.

"I don't think it should be called Finn's army!" She said callously.

"Why not?" Blaine asked a bit confused. "I think it sounds like a wonderful name and after all. Finn is a big part as of why I am doing this." Christie hesitated and I walked closer and looked her into the eyes- it was hard- it broke my heart how much they looked like Finn's- and my dad's.

"Well, everyone are always going on about Finn and how he was such an amazing person and everything. But the thing was he did loads of things that weren't that much of an amazing person, you know he did things that weren't amazing."

I felt anger boiling up inside of me… it would have if anyone was saying anything bad about Finn. But Christie- she and Finn had been best friends. "He wasn't always a good person that everyone are remembering."

"Christie… I can see there's something…" I tried, because I knew the look on her face- it was exactly the one Finn would have when there was something he had tried to keep a secret. God- why did they have to look so much alike?

"Okay… well… Finn he always told me…" Christie silent and then she looked up and looked me sternly into the eyes. Hers had gone almost black. "He promised he'd be there. He promised he would be there until in the end and then he just left…"

"He couldn't control that and you know that."

"HE LEFT CAROLE. HE LEFT YOU. HE LEFT US. HE LEFT ME WHEN HE PROMISED HE WOULD BE THERE. A GOOD PERSON DOESN'T DO THAT. TELL ME ONE THING IN THAT WOULD HAVE MADE HIM A GOOD PERSON BECAUSE THAT IS NOT WHAT A GOOD PERSON DOES THEY DON'T JUST LEAVE!"

I wasn't exactly sure what I was doing. I acted with everything had gone black because I just couldn't think straight at all. Then the sound seemed to echoing between the walls and woke me up. My palm burned and Christie had stepped away, the angry almost black look in her eyes- had turned into a scared and somewhat ashamed expression.

What had I done?

**So, what Keagan wrote for the essay. I actually wrote that- almost all of that, on Facebook after helping an old man getting on his feet out at town and what Keagan does and thinks and what the woman does is all based on what happened to me this summer, only difference is that I helped an old man and he called me a beautiful woman not a handsome man… if he had called me that I probably wouldn't helped him anymore! Oh, and the fact that I wrote it on Facebook while Keags used it for that essay. **


End file.
